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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24489361">Lay my body down.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wanhedawarrior/pseuds/Wanhedawarrior'>Wanhedawarrior</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The 100 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aftermath of Torture, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anorexia, Bisexual Clarke Griffin, Bisexual Raven Reyes, Branding, Bulimia, Camp Jaha | Arkadia, Caring Clarke Griffin, Clarke Griffin &amp; John Murphy Friendship, Clarke Griffin &amp; Raven Reyes Friendship, Developing Friendships, Eating Disorders, Echo/Raven, Endgame Clarke griffin/Raven Reyes, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/F, Flashbacks, Graphic Description, Graphic Description of Corpses, Graphic Torture, Grounders (The 100) - Freeform, Heda Lexa (The 100), Hostage Situations, Hurt Clarke Griffin, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Torture, Kidnapped raven reyes, Kidnapping, Minor Bellamy Blake/Echo, Minor Octavia Blake/Lincoln, Nightmares, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Octavia Blake &amp; Clarke Griffin are Best Friends, POV Clarke Griffin, POV Octavia Blake, POV Raven Reyes, Past Bellamy Blake/Echo, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Princess Clarke Griffin, Princess Mechanic, Psychological Trauma, References to Depression, Sad Clarke Griffin, The 100 (TV) Season 2, The Ark Station, Torture, Wanheda Clarke Griffin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 04:27:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>77,880</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24489361</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wanhedawarrior/pseuds/Wanhedawarrior</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke Griffin tries her best to cope with what she had done.<br/>Her family and friends are turning their backs on Her.<br/>Her world is starting to spiral out of control.<br/>Her world is slowly crashing down and nobody is there to hold her hand.<br/>Clarke has always been there for everyone, always making the hard decisions so they don't have to. She bore it so they didn't have to and its all getting too heavy for her to carry.</p><p>Will someone eventually realise that shes not okay? Or will it all be too little and too late.</p><p>Raven helps Clarke out with her issues and helps her find herself. Along the way it's clear raven has issues of her own but she's very secretive and good at hiding them. What will happen when eventually something terrible happens and she finds it hard to stay strong.<br/>Will she be able to carry on fighting and putting on a brave face? Or will she confess to her demons and finally let Clarke in.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bellamy Blake/Echo, Clarke Griffin/Raven Reyes, Emori/John Murphy (The 100), Octavia Blake/Lincoln</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>60</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>134</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is set after they leave mount weather.<br/>It's based on how Clarke feels after all her friends abandon her.<br/>This does also touch on Eating disorders and Self injury along with rape and depression. it is quite a dark fanfiction however it does get lighter as the chapters move along.<br/>It's also a Raven Reyes and Clarke Griffin cannon fanfiction.<br/>Ravens issues will be bought up aswell as it's not only Clarke who will have struggles.<br/>I hope you enjoy!<br/>------------------------------------------------------------------</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>May 14th 2145</p><p>Clarke's Pov:</p><p>It had been a month since the mountain.<br/>
31 days since she and the others had even spoke. Nobody forgave her for what she did at the mountain, even though without Clarke's actions they would all be dead.<br/>
Everything felt wrong. She felt like she was dreaming, like she wasn't really alive yet she wasn't really dead. It was like she couldn't fathom whether or not she was conscious or unconscious, dead or alive. She felt detached, like she was floating above everyone else screaming yet nobody could hear her. </p><p>Clarke pressed her feet on the floor. She wiped the tears off her cheeks and stood up, pulling on a pair of leggings and a sweater. She was exhausted.<br/>
Living was exhausting. But she wasn't really living was She? She was surviving. The difference is when your living you are living with a purpose whereas Surviving is when you are doing the bare minimum to get by.<br/>
She slowly made her way over to the mess hall. Not daring to look up even for a split second.<br/>
She felt sadness in every part of her body, every cell; a deep sadness that came from inside herself, spreading through her body, getting stronger and stronger the more She was awake.</p><p>She took her tray of food from the counter and sat down, she curled her fingers around her fork. A loud grumble coming deep from within her stomach. She gazed down at the plate of food with a pained expression.<br/>
Her lips pursed as her fingers tightened their grip around the fork as her hunger increased.<br/>
"Don't. You dont deserve it." A voice spoke in her subconscious. It sounded much like Clarke but demonic. She immediately dropped her fork and pushed the plate away uneasily not having the energy mentally or physically to fight the voice.<br/>
It had been a week since she ate something other than a small handful of berries or nuts from the woodlands. She knew she didn't truly deserve a meal after what she did. Why should she give her body nutrients after she had killed all those people and made their bodies suffer?</p><p>Clarke was silent. Taking in deep breaths from her nose to try and calm the storm she felt brewing inside of her. She felt her body go light, the noises around her began to muffle, she tilted her head to the side as she heard the distorted voices of Octavia and Bellamy from across the room as they spoke. Her friends seemed to be fine without Her, nobody really missed her. After everything she had done to protect her friends she was still the one who was alone. She was the one who was too sad to bathe herself and get herself in clean clothes. She was the one who couldn't eat or sleep as her demons dammed her unworthy for her basic human necessities.<br/>
Nobody seemed to notice her struggling right under their noses, or they did and just didn't care.</p><p>She gripped onto her cup of water and bought it up to her lips. Her throat felt dry and her lungs were burning.<br/>
"Dont drink that Clarke.." The voice spoke again and she dropped her hands from the cup spilling the beverage over the floor with a light thud.<br/>
Nobody seemed to flinch at the noise as everyone's conversations continued, apart from one person. Clarke felt someone watch her. A pair of eyes burning into soul causing her to turn around, matching gazes with Raven.</p><p>She looked over at her. Raven stared back with a expression Clarke couldn't quite read. It's not like Raven even cared. Clarke gulped down a lump that was slowly rising in her throat, breaking eye contact from the mechanic as she stood up quickly. She<br/>
Made her way over to the bin as a wave of nausea washed over her, she scraped her plate off and left the dirty dish on the floor.<br/>
Clarke looked over at Ravens table uncomfortably.<br/>
Her lungs tightened and she instinctively folded her arms, squeezing her hands around her upper arm.<br/>
She glanced around the table which was full of people, she bit down on her lip harshly  Drawing blood as Echo and Murphy glared at her, Jackson and Emori rolled their eyes and Harper and Monty simply ignored her presence. Whereas Raven and Octavia stared at her, with a glimmer of concern in their eyes. Clarke wiped the blood off of her bottom lip, she looked down at the floor and started to walk back to her hut. </p><p>"You see they don't need you Clarke. Why don't you just float yourself". Clarke shook her head trying to rid her mind of the demon. She crouched down by her bed, gripping onto her legs.<br/>
No matter what she did, she couldn’t get away from it. She could still hear the dying screams of everyone she had killed. She could still feel the ground quake as the bomb exploded on the bridge killing hundreds of grounders in the process.<br/>
She could still taste the blood in her mouth, though it was slowly starting to transition into a bitter numbness. </p><p>She dug her hand under her pillow, retreaving a small metal object. Her actions seemed far too familiar as she pulled up her sleeves. She inhaled a shaky breath, holding it in her lungs to prevent the scream she felt building in her body as she pulled the sharp metal razor along her milky skin. Her breath hitched and her body trembled. Relief washed over her instantly and she tucked the object back under pillow. Blood pooled down on the floor and she groaned, wiping it up effortlessly with a old hoodie.<br/>
Clarke pulled her sleeves back down and rested her head against the wall.<br/>
She kept her eyes tightly shut, trying to make the voice be quiet. She’d heard enough of it. After a few seconds she opened her eyes back up. </p><p>The distant sounds of laughter and chatter seemed to break her heart even more than it already was. Over the past month it dawned on Her, nobody really needed her now. She saved their lives and nobody needed her. She had no purpose to carry on. She was just surviving and she didn't know why. What was the point in surviving when you don't really want to survive at all?<br/>
She had spent 31 days back in camp either drunk or numb trying to forget everything she was running from. But her demons and worst fears only seemed to get worse.<br/>
Guilt consumed Clarke; she couldn't function anymore. Their was no point in anything and all she wanted to do was get away from it all. To get away from her head.<br/>
To get away from her past.<br/>
What was the point in trying to survive in earth if she might not live to tell the tale?</p><p>She laid down on the cold concrete floor of her hut. Exhaustion was slowly creeping over her fragile body. She let out a quiet yawn and curled her body around itself. The muggy air stuck to her body uncomfortably causing a thin layer of sweat to appear on her skin.<br/>
It may have been getting warmer outside but she felt nothing but coldness deep within. </p><p>She'd been wearing the same clothes for 5 days now. Hadn't showered or washed her hair for that long either.<br/>
That was the least of her worries, people were out to get her. Everyone wanted her dead- herself included,<br/>
She deserved all of this. She deserved to sleep in a cold dirty hut, not to have any food or drink. She deserved all of it and more.<br/>
Her body stilled and the distant voices outside her hut disappeared into nothingness as sleep overwhelmed her body. Her organs slowed and her mind shut off as she drifted into a deep sleep. </p><p>------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>Raven' s Pov:</p><p>It had been a month since everyone had returned from the mountain. The tension was high in camp, nobody really knew what to say to eachother or how to explain what they had just been through. Everyone seemed to hate Clarke for what she had done, yet if it wasn't for Clarke and her actions every single person would have died.<br/>
Nobody would be standing here today if it wasn't for Clarke. She had saved their lives more times than she could have counted. They would have died within the first week of being at earth if Clarke hasn't of made them see sense. </p><p>She knew it wasn't Clarke's fault, whereas everyone else blamed Her. Octavia kind of knew it wasn't Clarke's fault too but she didn't want to go against her brother. They blamed her for taking the lives of everyone in mount weather. But she knew Clarke didnt want to do it, she was pleading with Bellamy moments before she pulled the lever. Begging him to find another way. But there wasn't, it was the only way to free their people so being the leader she is Clarke took the opportunity. She pulled the lever. As always she bore it so they didn't have to. </p><p>Raven was snapped out of her thoughts as her body was jolted forward. She looked over to her left to see a annoyed looking Bellamy. "Were you even listening to a word I was saying?" He spat and she shook her head not being in the mood to deal with his hero complex at this ungodly hour of the morning.<br/>
"No and I don't care Bellamy" she whispered and looked back down at her plate, she pushed her food around before taking another bite of sausage.<br/>
She was about to speak when Clarke caught her attention.<br/>
Her face softened as she looked over at the fragile looking girl, she was sat by herself and the expression on her face shattered Ravens heart. Clarke looked broken, she watched as Clarke dropped her fork and pushed her plate of untouched food away from her malnourished body. The blondes cheeks were sunken in, and her eyebrows were knitted like she was fighting a conflict against herself. </p><p>"Raven-" Murphy poked her in the side and she turned around with a annoyed look on her face. "What?" She snapped angrily and he shook his head in defeat.<br/>
She turned her attention back to the blonde just as she ran out of the mess hall clearly struggling with something.<br/>
She pushed her empty plate away and turned to face her friends who were all staring at her angrily.<br/>
"Why have you been staring at Clarke all the time? After everything shes done to us Raven" Jaspers tone was evil and raven stood up. She felt a overwhelming rage starting to burn inside of her.<br/>
“This is what you want to talk about right here?" Raven questioned and Jasper nodded in anger.<br/>
She sighed softly and nonchalantly began to scratch her right arm with her left hand. A feeling of nerves and anger washed over her.</p><p>"After everything shes done for us you all still hate her guts, she has made so many sacrifices just so we could survive. As soon as you hit the ground she put you all first before her own needs. She made decision after decision. Always making the hard choices because nobody else wanted to. She killed the boy she liked to save him from endless torture.<br/>
She made a deal with the enemy hoping it would save all of your lives without thinking of what would happen to herself. Everything Clarke did, no matter how dark or twisted it may have seemed, was because she cared about all of you and wanted you to be safe. She wasn't the only one who pulled that lever that day in mount weather." Raven took a breath and looked over at Bellamy.<br/>
"Bellamy forced her to do it, he pushed her damn hand on the lever while she was pleading with him to find another way. Time after time she saved all of you. And what does she get in return? Cold shoulders and verbal abuse."<br/>
Octavia looked over at her brother in shock. "You.. You let us blame Clarke... and it was you who caused the mountain all along? She was my bestfriend and now she thinks i want her dead! I hate you!" She screamed and stood up, she ran out of the mess hall and into her room on the ark. </p><p>Their faces fell, yet still remained a little angry. "You're all over here happy while shes suffering and you don't even care, it's time you get your head out of your asses and accept the fact we've all made mistakes. She sacrificed her own mother to make sure you were all alive. You all make me sick ". Raven rushed out of the mess hall after Octavia leaving her friends speechless. She walked into the the mechanic quarters and slammed her fists against the wall in anger. She slowly calmed herself down before spending the night focusing on mending the ship's inner electrical circuits trying to distract herself from what had previously happened that night.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Skinny love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Clarke finally gets the support she deserves, she's got a long road ahead of her but with Raven by her side she knows she can get through it.<br/>Raven saves Clarke and little does Clarke know she also saved Raven.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Raven finally has her princess in her arms.<br/>This is the start of princess mechanics relationship! </p><p>This is a alternate reality meaning its not accurate to what happens on the show.</p><p>Please leave kudos and comments if you'd like the next chapter! Also leave suggestions on what you would like to see.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>May 15th 2145 </p><p>Clarke's Pov: </p><p>Clarke woke up Slowly on the damp floor of her hut, she let out a soft groan as she stood up. Carefully she pulled off her dirty clothes, she pulled on a t-shirt, clean undergarments and a pair of leggings.<br/>
She felt so weak, her head was throbbing and she sighed as she started walking over to the mess hall.<br/>
She entered the room. Mimicking her previous actions from the day before, she grabbed a tray and sat down. She picked up a spoonful of porridge and bought it up to her lips.<br/>
"Dont eat that.." The voice appeared again. She dropped her spoon into the bowl and pushed the tray away. Her stomach growled noisily. She had never been this hungry before, her stomach was aching tremendously. It felt like she was being stabbed. </p><p>Clarke wanted to scream. She hated this. All her pain and suffering was going to her head it was driving her crazy. She felt like she was suffocating in a mixture of pain and sadness. She could feel her hands trembling.<br/>
Tears cascaded down her sunken in cheeks, her bottom lip trembling slightly. She tried taking a series of deep breaths, to calm her erratic heart yet nothing was working, her head felt like it was about to explode.<br/>
"You're weak Clarke everyone wants you dead."<br/>
Clarke slammed her fists on the table and quickly stood up, she rushed over to the bin and scraped the contents of the bowl into it trying to ignore the fact everyone was now staring at her, she shoved the bowl on the counter and rushed out of the mess hall needing to get some fresh air into her heaving lungs.</p><p>Clarke glanced around nervously before running into the woodland. She had no idea where she was going she just knew she had to get away. Before she knew it she was at the edge of a cliff gasping heavily for air.<br/>
Clarke's legs dangled over the cliff edge as she sat down, she loved it at highest spot, she found it more satisfying there.<br/>
The drop seemed like it never had an ending. She could barely see the ground beneath it. Maybe her tears were just clouding her vision.<br/>
She gazed over the edge and gripped onto the rock she was sat on tightly.<br/>
She Looked up at the clear blue sky, everything looked so normal. So still. She inhaled a breath and focused on the site above; the sky, the clouds, the sun beaming down.<br/>
A sob passed her lips, all the held in emotion finally being released. All her feelings had been put into starving or cutting, this was her first time letting it all out the way her body needed to. She looked down after awhile as she sobbed harder than before.</p><p>She stared over the edge for the longest time. The jaggered rocks below were all shapes and sizes. She didn't even know what would hurt more, the initial fall that would take her life or the fact she would be dying alone.<br/>
"Do it. Do it Clarke and then everyone will be happy" The voice hissed demonically.<br/>
Clarke wiped her tears away from her stinging red cheeks. Her legs swung weightlessly over the edge and she whimpered.<br/>
She didn't even know why she was at the cliffs edge. It's not like she truly wanted to die did She? No.. She just wanted it all to stop, she wanted everything and everyone to just stop and if ending her life was what it would take for that to happen then she would gladly sacrifice her life for some peace. </p><p>"Clarke?" A sudden voice spoke behind her and Clarke's sobs started again and she slammed her fists into the hard surface of the rock.<br/>
"Do it NOW! Don't burden her Clarke she doesn't care!"<br/>
The voice was louder than ever before, she screamed helplessly and bought her hands up to her head - She thrashed her fists against her head and screamed again, her tears poured down her cheeks as she shuffled further towards the edge.<br/>
"Shut up! Just shut up!" She yelled back at the voice.<br/>
A gentle pair of arms wrapped around her chest and pulled her back from the edge. Saving her from plummeting to her death. Clarke sobbed harder, she tried her best to shove the girl off of her but it was no use. She was alot stronger than Clarke was. </p><p>"You..." Clarke groaned and then opened her mouth, "...you should have just let me die."<br/>
She trashed around again, harder this time trying to free herself of Ravens grasp. Her brain felt like it was on fire. She felt Ravens grip tighten around her and pull her backwards even further. Clarke's body slumped back against ravens front and she groaned tiredly. </p><p>"I'm not letting you go" Ravens Tone was soft And Clarke had no energy in her to argue, she furrowed her eyebrows and took in a small breath trying to calm herself down as Raven held her firmly.<br/>
She felt weightless, almost like she was floating or falling.<br/>
For a split second her pain was gone, everything seemed to slow down, And she felt like she was drifting into numbness yet again and then she snapped back into reality. Clarke shut her eyes tightly and cringed. Everything hurt, and her mind was on fire. The demons were loud and swarming in her mind, attacking her subconscious. She screamed soundlessly at the voices. begging for them to take her away as as Ravens grasp was firmer than before.<br/>
------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>Ravens Pov: </p><p>Raven woke up as her body thudded on the floor. She opened her eyes in confusion and groaned - She stretched her limbs and stood up carefully.<br/>
She quickly changed into a pair of jeans and a hoodie, she brushed her hair back and pulled on her shoes before leaving the mechanic quarters, she quickly rushed into the mess hall and grabbed a stack of pancakes.<br/>
She sat down on the same bench as Murphy but shuffled away the furthest she could.<br/>
"Dont be like that please" Murphy mumbled causing raven to frown a little. She felt bad for pushing Murphy away but it was all too overwhelming for her. <br/>
She took a bite of her pancake and looked around the room for Clarke, a frown appearing on her face as she wasn't anywhere to be seen.</p><p>"Listen I still don't get why you care so much" Jasper muttered as he placed some food into his mouth.<br/>
Raven stared at him blankly and then looked away she smiled at Octavia weekly and she smiled back.<br/>
"You know Jasper, I care because I've been sitting here.. every single day for a month listening to all of you bad mouth Clarke knowing full well she could hear you. I watched as she got sadder and sadder, I watched as she cried while you all laughed at her. I fucking watched while you all scoffed your faces with food and she couldn't even eat a mouthful without a look of regret appearing on her face" she took another bite of her pancakes and stood up.<br/>
Bellamy grabbed her arm and she slapped his hand harshly "do not. Touch me." She hissed before moving away from him.  </p><p>She walked out of the mess hall, immediately seeing a wave of blonde hair vanish into the woods. Raven knitted her eyebrows in confusion as she began to follow her being careful to not make a sound or get too close that it would end up spooking her.<br/>
She looked over in the distance and could see the blonde stumbling through the woods, old blood stains all over her sleeves. The sun shone through the trees illuminating just how skinny Clarke really was.<br/>
Raven frowned as she realised looked like she was in distress, like she had completely given up.<br/>
She gasped as Clarke reached the edge of a cliff, a sigh of relief shot through her as the girl sat down. Atleast she wasn't going to jump.. or was She?</p><p>Raven stood behind a tree as she listened to Clarke,<br/>
It sounded like she was talking to herself. Every once in a while Clarke's body would shuffle closer to the edge and then stop, it was like she was fighting between two sides of herself. A side that wanted to die and a side that didn't want to die.<br/>
She heard a gentle sob come from Clarke, followed by a outburst of emotions. Raven teared up as she saw her friend thrashing around - She was screaming at someone to shut up but nobody was around only Raven. It then dawned on the mechanic what was happening. Clarke was hearing things. Clarke began to scream harder and Raven rushed forward, her anxiety spiked as she finally reached the blonde just in time.  </p><p>"Clarke!" She yelled as she wrapped her arms around Clarke's body as tight as she could, she pulled her backwards and grunted as the blonde thrashed around in her embrace. Raven gulped down a lump in her throat and tears began to run down her cheeks. The blonde screamed harder and a loud sob erupted from deep within Clarke's lungs as she attempted to shove Raven off of her. Raven shook her head and tightened her grip not letting her go.<br/>
"You" the blonde started to speak as she gasped for air between sobs "You should have just let me die".<br/>
The mechanic grunted softly as the blonde thrashed harder in her embrace - still she didn't let go. </p><p>"I'm not letting you go" Raven spoke in a soft voice as Clarke began to calm down, her breathing became shallow and Raven sighed in relief. The blonde stilled and her eyes shut. The mechanic knew Clarke was still fighting with something in her head so she held her tighter. A loud groan came from Clarke and Raven began to cry. Seeing Clarke this broken made her ache. It was horrific to see such a wonderful girl spiral into such a dark place.</p><p>Half an hour had passed and Clarke had completely stilled, her breathing was shallow indicating that she had fallen asleep due to extreme exhaustion.<br/>
Raven brushed the stray hairs out of Clarke's face and sighed. Her cheeks were completely sunken in and her eyes had black rings around them from the lack of sleep.<br/>
"Oh clarke" She whispered.<br/>
The girl was extremely emaciated, her leggings were hanging off her limbs and her hips were sticking out.<br/>
Raven stood up without a second thought and scooped Clarke up in her arms, she held her tightly and began to walk through the woods and back to the camp. She quickly rushed into her private quarters and placed Clarke down on the bed. She sighed and pulled the blankets over the sleeping girl. </p><p>Raven ran her fingers through her own hair and turned around, she felt a cold hand touch hers and she turned back around quickly.<br/>
"Stay" Clarke mumbled half asleep, Raven simply nodded and climbed onto her bed. She wrapped her arms around Clarke instinctively and ran her fingers through the blondes matted locks, carefully untangling each strand as she slept.<br/>
Raven stayed awake the whole night, making sure Clarke was okay and didn't have any night terrors. </p><p>After months of dreaming of this moment. Her princess was finally in her arms were she belonged.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Skin and Bones</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Clarke's condition drastically starts to deteriorate, but with the help from Raven and the support from a old friend They manage to get Clarke the help she needs.<br/>Will Clarke manage to survive This? Or will it all be too much.</p><p>"You can have it... and I care because believe it or not Clarke I love you for you. I know what you did was for all of us and you need to stop torturing yourself."</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Raven and Clarke regain trust, and a old friend re-enters clarkes life.<br/>Clarke is slowly fading away but Ravens love for her is keeping her as strong as she can be.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> May 16th 2145 </p><p>Raven pov: </p><p>The sun rose over the camp - piercing through the thin rags which were covering the windows in Ravens quarters. She pulled the rags, opening the curtains. The world seemed so calm; the trees were waving due to the breeze and the woodland seemed silent apart from the few noises from animals.<br/>
She looked down at the figure that layed curled up in her arms, Clarke was moving around every once in a while indicating that she was slowly waking from her slumber.<br/>
Raven sat up carefully, she groaned as she pushed her legs over the edge of the bed. The brace on her left leg was causing her more agony than usual, she stood up slowly from the bed and pulled off her clothes from yesterday.<br/>
Limping over to the sink she splashed soapy water over her tanned skin and started to dress herself in a pair of shorts and a cami top as the weather was quite warm. </p><p>She hobbled back over to the bed and smiled as Clarke sat up. The blonde stretched her muscles out and looked around in confusion. "What- am i-" she yawned sleepily and looked up at raven with pursed lips.<br/>
"What am I doing here?" She muttered as she gazed over at the door trying to figure out if she could escape.<br/>
"No.. you're staying". Raven gulped as she noticed Clarke looking over at the door. The blonde nodded hesitantly and Raven pointed over to the sink and Clarke shook her head, she snuggled back down into the blankets and bought her legs up to her chest.<br/>
The mechanic sighed softly and nodded her head. She walked back over to the sink and started to fill up a bucket of warm soapy water - once it was full she made her way back to the bed and sat down next to Clarke, a soft caring expression on her face. </p><p>"Clarke.. ill wash you okay? I promise I won't hurt you" Raven placed her hands on the bottom of Clarke's sweater and the blonde girl lifted her arms up, allowing raven to pull the item of clothing from her body. She pulled it off and threw the sweater off of the floor.<br/>
A shocked gasp came from Ravens lips and Clarke looked over at her with a worn out look in her eyes.<br/>
"Oh clarke-" she whispered. The girls thin frame, protruding bones, cuts and scars were noticed instantly, she carefully ran the washcloth over the scars and cuts on Clarke's arms. She was literally skin and bones. Raven began to gently wash off the mud and grime from the blondes stomach.<br/>
Raven gulped. A tear ran down her cheek and she grabbed one of her clean hoodies from the side of the bed, she pulled it over Clarke's torso. </p><p>She then pushed down Clarke's leggings and underwear, she quickly washed down the girls legs. Once she had finished she pulled clean underwear on Clarke and then a pair of leggings.<br/>
Her jaw dropped slightly as the leggings fell of the girls legs.<br/>
"Come on" Raven whispered and Clarke looked over at her with tears in her eyes.<br/>
She stood up weakly and grunted as Raven wrapped her arm around Clarkes waist.<br/>
Clarke chuckled weakly between sobs earning a confused look from Raven.<br/>
"I'm sorry.. It's just.. you've been limping around all morning and I can't walk myself.... and now we look like penguins" she whispered. </p><p>Raven giggled softly and prodded Clarke in the side and started to walk out of her quarters.<br/>
As soon as they reached the mess hall Clarke froze. She gazed at Raven. Terror evident in the girls eyes.<br/>
"Its okay, listen.. ill sit with you and we can ignore them okay?". Raven gently rubbed Clarke's back reassuringly and eventually the girl nodded her head.<br/>
They made their way into the mess hall and Clarke looked down at the floor immediately.<br/>
The duo walked over to the food and raven grabbed a plate, she knew Clarke wouldn't eat anything so she grabbed a bowl of fruit and placed it on her own tray.<br/>
Raven caught Clarke's eyes gaze over the food, she watched as the blonde reached out for a chocolate milk, her expression dropped and her hand retreated and she burried her head into Ravens shoulder. </p><p>Raven grabbed the chocolate milk discretely and she pulled Clarke over to a free table.<br/>
She set out all the food on the surface and stabbed a piece of fruit, she plopped it into her mouth and chewed it. Once she had swallowed she stabbed another piece of fruit and furrowed her eyebrows.<br/>
Clarke was now sat next to her, she looked down at the fruit and then back up at Raven with a pained expression.<br/>
"You trust me right?" Raven asked and Clarke nodded quicker than Raven expected.<br/>
She raised the fruit up to Clarke's mouth and the girl tightened her grip on her thighs, digging her nails into her thighs as she drew her legs up to her chest yet again.<br/>
"Dont eat! You're getting fat shes making you fat." The voice spoke again and Clarke tried her best to block it out.<br/>
Her mouth opened reluctantly and tears sprung from her eyes as she began to chew the fruit raven had placed into her mouth.<br/>
Raven rubbed her back soothingly and Clarke slammed her fists on the table sadly. "I-i can't do it rae" she sobbed harshly and she looked over at the carton of chocolate milk; her eyes filled with more tears and she pointed at the milk with a frown. "I want it... but I can't- I don't- why are you caring for me?".</p><p>The mechanic grabbed the carton of milk and she wrapped her left arm around Clarke lovingly. "You can have it... and I care because believe it or not Clarke I love you for you. I know what you did was for all of us and you need to stop torturing yourself."<br/>
Raven stabbed the carton with a straw and placed it between Clarke's quivering lips, the carton squeezed a little as Clarke began to drink the brown liquid hesitantly.<br/>
Once half of the carton had vanished Clarke pulled back, she held onto her stomach and Rested her head on Ravens shoulder.<br/>
Clarke's stomach rumbled furiously and she groaned, a light sweat covered her forehead and Raven pulled her up quickly.<br/>
"Come on" Raven placed Clarke's arm around her shoulders and she limped out of the mess hall. </p><p>Raven gripped onto Clarke as the blonde girls legs gave way, causing her legs to hit the floor.<br/>
"Clarke! No.. no no stay with me" she pulled Clarke up and she wrapped her arms back around her waist.<br/>
She heard the mess hall doors slam and a pair of footsteps rushed towards her. Octavia.<br/>
"What happened? Is she okay?" Octavia grabbed Clarke's arms and helped raven lift her up.<br/>
Raven and Octavia took Clarke into the med bay and laid her down on the free bed.<br/>
Eric quickly hooked Clarke onto a heart monitor along with a IV drip.<br/>
The mechanic looked over at Octavia with a frown - She sat down next to Clarke's bed and held her hand tightly as the blonde started to open her eyes.<br/>
"She needs a nasogastric tube or she won't survive the next few days shes lucky shes even alive her heart is really weak" Eric stated as he began to grab a bag of nutrients for the tube along with a small sized tube. He placed in on a tray next to Clarke's bed and she sat up quickly and looked over at Octavia then at Raven clearly terrified. Raven bit down on her bottom lip and began to chew on it anxiously, the idea of Clarke not making it made her heart drop. </p><p>Raven sat down on Clarke's bed and took the tube from the metal medical tray, she looked over at Eric and he shrugged, she inhaled a nervous breath and looked back at Clarke. "You trust me right? Can I do it? Look its only nutrients, honey its not necessarily food... itll keep your body going.. you can't die on me Clarke not after I've just got you back". She spoke in a soft tone and the blonde nodded her head, still a little unsure.<br/>
Raven rubbed some medicated lube over the tube and she furrowed her brows. Carefully she straddled Clarke's legs and sat down on her thighs, Raven chuckled noticing Clarke now had her hands on Ravens waist and she slowly started to insert the tube into Clarke's nose, the blonde swallowed hesitantly and gagged a little.<br/>
"There we go -" Raven placed a plaster over the tube and hooked it over Clarke's right ear.</p><p>Raven climbed off of clarke and sat next to her on the bed - She watched as Clarke gazed over at Octavia again and then looked down not knowing what to say. "Why are you here Octavia" Raven muttered and Clarke held onto her tightly.<br/>
Octavia walked over to the bed and sat down on the chair.<br/>
"I realised I was treating you unfairly.. it wasn't your fault, Bell made you do it at mount weather. Clarke I forgive you, you can't keep doing this to yourself we can't lose you" The dark haired woman looked at her ashamedly and Clarke squeezed her hand a little before letting go.<br/>
Raven pulled up the covers on Clarke's bed and looked up. Beads of sweat pooled from Clarke's forehead and she started to shiver. A fever.<br/>
She quickly removed Clarke's sweater - exposing her cuts and scars along with her emaciated frame. Octavia began to tear up and Raven held Clarke in her arms protectively, not wanting to let go.<br/>
"Sleep Clarke..  It's okay I'm not leaving" she soothed and stroked the girls hair.<br/>
After Clarke had fallen asleep Raven looked over at Octavia with a frown.</p><p>"She's been doing this to herself since before mount weather; theres old scars on her arms which seem like they are from a long time ago, probably from a couple months after you guys hit the ground, all she did was care for everyone and she always put herself second. She clearly couldn't cope with all the pressure everyone was putting on her" Raven rubbed Clarke's back lovingly and Octavias face dropped.<br/>
She sighed sadly and stood up. "I'm sorry..  I didn't know, I'm here for her from now on okay? You tell her that.. tell her I'm sorry"<br/>
With that Octavia left the med bay and Raven stayed looking after Clarke for the night.<br/>
As the day darkened into night Raven fell asleep, curled up with her and Clarke's body's intertwined.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Cry me a River.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Raven and Clarke get even closer while the guilt consumes Octavia and she finally snaps at her friends. </p><p>"Thank you.. for sticking up for me" Clarke whispered and Raven nodded in agreement.<br/>Octavia smiled a little and sat down on the recliner chair. She sighed and curled up.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Other chapters will be longer!<br/>I'm going to include more about other characters in future chapters however this one was really based on Octavias guilt and how Clarke was coping. </p><p>Hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>May 17th 2145 </p><p>Clarke Pov</p><p>Everything hurt. A bright light hung above the hospital bed. Clarke nuzzled into her pillows to try and reduce the light that was piercing through her eyelids. The continuous beeping of the heart monitors made her groan in a mixture of annoyance and exhaustion.<br/>
She felt so tired. More tired than usual - if that was even possible.<br/>
She let out a quiet yawn and her eyes fluttered open, she squinted as the fierce light flooded her pupils.<br/>
"Clarke?" Ravens voice. She looked over at the woman who was sitting next to her, her limbs reached out as she stretched sleepily. A small smile appearing on her lips.<br/>
Clarke blinked. Her eyes slowly adjusting to the light in the room, she looked down at her arm and huffed. Oh How she hated IVs. If she could rip the needle out of her arm she would, but she knew deep down that she had to have it. 
"Hey rae.." She whispered and wrapped her arms around Raven holding her close for comfort.</p><p>Her stomach ached. She couldn't tell if it was from the overwhelming feeling of nausea, the nutrient formula or due to the fact she now had a tube in her stomach. She felt disgusting and was making it her mission not to look down at her now bloated stomach.<br/>
Eric came in every 2 hours to check in on her throughout the night. He made sure to measure her blood pressure and heart rate and write them down on a chart each time.<br/>
Clarke looked over at him as he walked over to her with his clipboard.<br/>
He stared at her for a moment with his eyebrows raised, studying her sick and pale features.<br/>
"Okay so.. I know the tube isnt the best feeling in the world but it's the way we were trained to deal with Anorexic patients on the ark" Eric stated and Clarke immediately tensed up.<br/>
She wrapped her arms around Raven and glared at the doctor.<br/>
"I am not.. anorexic I eat -" She muttered and Eric turned away, he placed the clipboard on the table and shook his head. </p><p>"You might not want to accept it and that's okay but Clarke you are the same weight now as you were when you were 9 years old. You're 18 now you shouldn't weigh under 6 stone Clarke. I'll do whatever I can to help You, Abby wouldn't want to see her daughter struggling like this". With that Eric walked out of the room back into the main part of the ark.<br/>
Clarke felt Raven shift in her seat as a call on her radio came through, it was a guard telling her that something was wrong with the arks gate and it needed to be fixed right away.<br/>
Just as Raven was about to deny the job Clarke moved off of her shoulder and pecked the mechanics cheek.<br/>
"You go..  I'll be Okay It's not like I can go anywhere" she chuckled lightly and Raven reluctantly climbed off of the bed.<br/>
Clarke scrunched her face up as Raven kissed her goodbye on her forehead.<br/>
"I'll be back soon beautiful ill get Octavia to keep you company" The tanned girl whispered as she headed out of the med bay. </p><p>As Raven left Clarke sat up in her bed, she groaned a little and looked over at the door as it opened. Octavia sat down on the chair. Clarke smiled at her slightly and rested her head on the pillows. </p><p>------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>Octavia pov:</p><p>Octavia walked into The med bay and made her way over to Clarke's bed with a frown. "Hey" she muttered as she sat down on the chair. Clarke looked over at her  with a small smile and the blonde rested herself on the pillows.<br/>
It broke Octavias heart to see Clarke like this, to know that she was part of the reason it happened in the first place. She needed them and they just abandoned her, they created this mess. They all destroyed the kind and caring girl that Clarke used to be.<br/>
She looked over at Clarke and furrowed her brows.<br/>
How didnt anyone notice this sooner? It was clear that Clarke had been struggling for over a year now and nobody noticed. Maybe she was just too good at hiding it? Or they were just bad friends. </p><p>"I'm so sorry Clarke im so sorry we did this to you" Octavia felt Clarke squeeze her hand and the blonde tapped the free side of her bed, Octavia climbed into the bed and she wrapped her arms around Clarke as the blonde wrapped her arms around Octavias shoulders. "I forgive you.. You didn't do it.. I did. Everything just got too much"<br/>
They sat in silence for a while. Only making light conversation about how lincoln was and how the grouders were now that mount weather had been destroyed. Her arms were still wrapped around Clarkes, and eventually the pair broke the hug. Both of them were crying, Octavia swiped under her eyes, wiping the dampness away. She wiped the tears away from Clarke's cheeks, without a warning tears flooded out from Clarke's eyes and she sobbed again with her face covered up.<br/>
Octavia moved Clarke's hands away from her face and she wrapped her arms around the blonde yet again, pulling her closer to calm her down.</p><p>She wasn’t sure how long Clarke had been in her arms for, but she knew the blonde was finally drifting off to sleep. The door opened and the latch clicked. Raven stepped into the med bay and she walked over to Clarke with a small smile. "Hey-" she whispered and Octavia got up from the bed, Raven quickly took her place and Clarke rested her head on ravens chest sleepily.<br/>
"Bye Blondie locks" Octavia chuckled and she walked out of the room, closing the door behind her. </p><p>Octavia walked into her hut- Bellamy was sat down on her bed along with Echo, Jasper Emori and Murphy. She rolled her eyes and pulled her jacket off- she slung her jacket down on the floor and looked over at her friends with a confused expression.<br/>
"What?" She mumbled as she stood infront of them.<br/>
Bellamy looked at her and shrugged his shoulders asif to ask where she had been.<br/>
"Where have you been? You were supposed to help us hunt today. You know your family?". As he said the last word Octavia laughed and crouched infront of him.<br/>
Their eyes were at the same level and she placed her hands in her lap.<br/>
"Family?" She scoffed and stood up; she took a step back from the four people who were sitting on her bed. "Family" she mumbled again and ran her fingers through her black hair angrily.</p><p>"Family dont do that to eachother Bell! They don't put that much baggage onto one fucking person and then blame them when it all goes wrong! We all blamed her for everything, she went through so much just to keep us safe and we banished her for it. Shes been hurting herself since we hit the damn ground because of the pressure. We needed a leader and she stepped up. You ALL were the ones who suggested to bomb the bridge. When it all happened who did you blame? You blamed Clarke. Shes in the med bay fighting for her life because of shit you all put her through- some more than others. Ive said I was sorry but you've done nothing! I've got forgiveness.. but the next time you need someone to make a hard choice for you because you're all too weak to do it yourself dont you dare ask Clarke because you can't deal with the consequences! You might be a bad brother but you're the worst friend!" She shouted angrily. She was sure all the guards and the whole ark had heard her, her hands shook in anger and she looked over at Bellamy as spoke. </p><p>"oh cry me a river, I didn't do anything wrong" he mumbled and Octavia swung. Connecting her fist with  his nose in a matter of moments. She laughed sarcastically and he looked at her in shock.<br/>
"Let me refresh your memory." She whispered and knelt down infront of him once more.<br/>
"Do you remember saying this? 'You're not in charge here and that's a good thing because people die when you're in charge' huh Bell? Did you watch as everyone blamed Clarke for mount weather when you were the one who forced her hand on the lever. You watched as everyone destroyed Clarke from the inside out for everything you had done. You can't act innocent when you're the least innocent person here. You can't! You just can't!" She shoved him frustratedly and then looked over at Jasper who laughed at her rage. </p><p>"what about you Jasper you watched while Clarke got the blame for trying to hang Murphy when in reality you knew it was Bellamy. She saved you that day by the lake, when you got speared. You know she didn't stop blaming herself for that? She still blames herself. The one time she was having fun and finally let her responsibilitys go, you got hurt. And then you treated her like crap afterwards. She loved you Jasper, like you were her brother. Seeing you in pain was the most painful thing for her, she cried to me for 2 days after that happened because of how guilty she felt.  She admired you for not being afraid of being yourself and you threw her love down the drain like it meant nothing. You blamed her for maya but that was Bellamy. It was all Bellamy why don't you see that? Clarke saved you all. It's her time to be saved. Why don't you understand that shes done EVERYTHING for us! For You! She gave up her dreams of having a wonderful peaceful time on earth to make sure you were safe.<br/>
You've had more second chances than anyone here Jasper you're one of the main reasons shes sat in the hospital with a fucking tube in her nose because you made her feel like shit!" She turned away and looked between Echo and Emori. They held their hands up surrendering and Murphy got up and left without another word, not that either Emori or Echo were even guilty of anything they were just being fed lies by bellamy like the rest of the group. She could tell Murphy felt remorseful for what he had done to Clarke in the past which is why she didn't yell at him, he loved Clarke but he found it difficult to know who he could trust. After all everyone told him it was all Clarke's fault. Octavia knew deep down Murphy regretted it. Nobody else seemed to. Especially Bellamy and Jasper. </p><p>"You know Raven was talking to me yesterday when Clarke was asleep. You know shes been diagnosed with one of the most fatal eating disorders?" Octavia began to pace the room and she kicked the ground each time she turned around in the other direction. "We all made her feel like she wasn't worthy of basic human necessities, she's been sleeping in a god damn hut on her own while we're in the ark in normal bedrooms! She had nobody, she watched as we laughed and smiled with eachother while she wanted to die! She did nearly die! Because of us!" She paused for a moment and took a deep breath. Everyone was silent.</p><p>"Get out-" she muttered. Nobody moved. Jasper, Bellamy, Echo and Emori stayed sat down on her bed and she kicked the leg on her bed angrily causing the girls to jump. "GET OUT!" She shouted out and grabbed Bellamy by the throat, she shoved him off the bed and kicked him in the side. "GET THE HELL OUT!" She screamed again and he quickly rushed out of the room, as did Echo, Emori and Jasper.<br/>
Octavia slumped down on her bed- she put her head in her hands and laid down. Feeling too angry to even function right now.</p><p>If they weren't going to try and make it right with Clarke then she would make their lives hell until they did. Her best friend was suffering deeply and they were all fine. How could anyone be fine when Clarke was dying because of the way they treated her?<br/>
After Octavia had calmed down she made her way back over to the Medway. As she walked in Raven and Clarke stared at her blankly.<br/>
Oh great they heard.<br/>
"Thank you.. for sticking up for me" Clarke whispered and Raven nodded in agreement.<br/>
Octavia smiled a little and sat down on the recliner chair. She sighed and curled up.<br/>
"I love you griffin and you don't need to thank me.. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you from the start" she sighed and covered herself up with one of Lincoln's sweatshirts she had stolen.<br/>
After a while the three of them were fast asleep, all of them snoring softly as they all drifted into a deeper sleep.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Strawberries and Cigarettes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Clarke and her friends spend some time at the lake to keep Clarke's mind off of her eating disorder.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>12th June 2145</p><p>It had been 1 month since Clarke had been diagnosed with anorexia. The blonde was making progress on recovery and They were slowly moving into a more official side of their relationship. </p><p>Raven woke up alone.<br/>
She slowly opened up her eyes and sighed as her body started to wake up, a yawn escaped her lips as she stretched out her legs. She groaned and rubbed her eyes, blinking continuously a few times as her pupils adjusted to the light in the room. She looked next to her at the empty spot in her bed and instantly sat up. A frown appeared on her face. She swung her legs over the bed and stood up. Groaning as her damaged leg filled with pain.<br/>
She scrunched her face up and rubbed her arms as the cold air swarmed around her body. Raven pulled on a thick hoodie and a pair of jeans, she pulled her hair up in a ponytail and opened up the door.<br/>
The cool morning air was slowly heating up, she stepped out of her quarter's and looked over at the clarke who was sitting down near a tree. </p><p>Raven automatically smiled as she watched the girl, the blonde was sat with her back against the trunk with her sketch pad balanced on her thighs. Her tongue was poking out her lips as she was concentrating on whatever she was drawing. Ravens heart swelled with love and she began to walk over to Clarke. "Morning gorgeous" she muttered and Clarke looked up at her, her hand instinctively covered her feeding tube up, she smiled back at Raven. "Goodmorning honey" the blonde whispered and her cheeks flushed as Raven pulled her hand away from the tube.<br/>
"You dont need to do that, you're gorgeous with.. And without the tube princess". Clarke simply nodded and scrunched her face up as Raven began to attack her cheek with soft kisses as she sat down next to her. </p><p>Raven wrapped her left arm around Clarkes shoulders and she gazed over at the blonde who began to blush a deeper shade of red than before. "Stop staring" Clarke whispered and raven shook her head, she brushed the stray hair away from Clarke's face and tucked it behind her ear. "Never.."<br/>
Raven looked over at Clarke's sketch bad and she smiled a little. Clarke carefully brushed her fingers over the led and lightly smudged the harsh lines to smooth them out. It was a picture of Raven asleep in bed.<br/>
Raven opened her mouth to speak and the blonde placed her hand over the mechanics mouth with a deviant look in her eyes. "I am not... a creep. I'm just admiring your natural beauty" she giggled and removed her hand as she felt the mechanic lick her palm.<br/>
The pair of them laughed and Clarke brushed her hand along her jeans getting rid of the wetness. "You're... disgusting" Clarke whispered and raven pouted. </p><p>She leant forward and pecked the blondes lips, they shared a sweet tender kiss before they both pulled away. Raven reached over, she grabbed Clarke's water bottle and took a sip and placed it back down.<br/>
The blondes stomach rumbled and Raven gazed at her curiously, she watched as Clarke's face scrunched up - her cheeks tensed up and she shook her head. Clearly fighting against her own mind.<br/>
Raven intertwined her hand with Clarke's and after a few moments Clarke finally spoke.<br/>
"Rae can we go to breakfast?" She asked and Raven nodded her head. She was shocked but she didn't want to show Clarke alot of emotion. As it was already overwhelming that she had the courage to ask to go to get food in the first place.</p><p>"Wait here rae I need to get my pole" Raven nodded and Clarke got up, she grabbed her sketch pad and ran into Ravens chambers. The tanned girl stood up she couldn't help but smile. She was so proud of her soon to be girlfriend. A few minutes later Clarke emerged from the room, she shut the door behind her and made her way over to Raven.<br/>
The pair made their way over to the mess hall and Raven opened the door, She looked down at her hand as Clarke had intertwined their fingers.<br/>
Their thoughts were interrupted as Octavia cleared her throat behind them. Raven looked back and Octavia smiled, she then looked at Clarke and gave her a quick hug. "Good morning sexy ladies" Octavia chuckled and Clarke rolled her eyes and giggled. Raven squeezed Clarke's hand "goodmorning Octavia, I dont think Lincoln would like to hear you call us sexy" Raven said as she opened the door and walked into the mess hall with the two girls following her closely.</p><p>Raven looked at Clarke and pointed to the bag of nutrients on her pole "want me to hook it up?". She asked and Clarke shook her head politely.<br/>
Raven raised her brows and Clarke grabbed a food tray. "I want to try.." she mumbled and Raven grabbed a tray and so did Octavia.<br/>
The three walked around the food line and Raven grabbed herself some strawberries and a plate full with eggs and bacon with 2 pancakes.<br/>
Octavia grabbed the same as Raven and they both watched Clarke curiously. </p><p>The blonde squeezed Ravens hand and then let go, she grabbed a bowl of grapes and then put it down. Instead she opted for the plate of chocolate chip pancakes with a bowl of strawberries. Clarke turned to Raven and pointed at the chocolate milk. "Can I have that too?" She whispered and looked down at her food nervously.<br/>
Raven reached over and grabbed the carton of milk. She held it infront of Clarke and the blonde knitted her eyebrows. "Do YOU want it?" She made sure to put emphasis on the word 'You'.<br/>
Clarke smiled a little and grabbed the carton of milk, she placed it on her tray and then the trio made their way over to their usual table.</p><p>Raven sat down and began to eat her food hungrily, she cut up her pancakes into bite size pieces and shovelled them into her mouth. She peered at Clarke and smiled as the girl began to eat her strawberries. As soon as half the bowl was gone Clarke stopped eating, she looked up at the bag of nutrients and sighed. "No" she heard the blonde mumble to herself.<br/>
Clarke stabbed a piece of her pancake with her fork and bought it up to her mouth.<br/>
She inhaled a shaky breath and Raven looked at her sympathetically. "I can do it.." She paused and shook her head. "Can I do it? I can't do it.." She whispered and Raven placed her hand ontop of Clarke's supportively.<br/>
She tenderly kissed Clarke on the cheek and then on the tip of her nose causing the blondes nose to twitch.<br/>
"You can do it" Raven corrected her and Clarke nodded.<br/>
A couple of minutes passed and Clarke slowly began to eat, she had demolished 2 pancakes and was now sipping on her chocolate milk with a slight grin on her face.</p><p>Raven finished off her food and she looked up at Octavia as the girl asked what their plans were for the day. "Well-" she looked over at her old friends table as she heard them all laugh. All but three Murphy, Emori and Echo. They were the only ones who wasn't laughing anymore.<br/>
Harper, Monty, Jasper, Bellamy were all still laughing like nothing had happened. But Murphy and Emori was sat away from them slightly, their faces filled with remorse and guilt. 
Echo was still sat next to Bellamy but she was spaced out, a look of sadness on her face.<br/>
She sighed and looked back at Octavia. "How about we go to the lake? The weather is heating up now and well it should be nice" she shrugged and looked at Clarke who had pushed her last pancake away.<br/>
Raven squeezed Clarke's hand yet again and the blonde stuck her tongue out.<br/>
"Can we swim? I miss the lake" Clarke asked and Raven nodded. </p><p>The trio emptied all their plates on the side and placed the trays back. Raven intertwined her hand with Clarke's and they walked out of the mess hall and back into Ravens quarters.<br/>
Raven grabbed two bikinis and threw one over to Clarke who caught it. "Do you need help?" Raven asked and Clarke nodded. Raven walked over to Clarke and pulled the girls shirt off, she then placed the bikini top on Clarke's body and tied it behind her neck and again on her back. "Thank you" the blonde said as she pulled her trousers off and placed the bikini bottoms on.<br/>
Raven quickly got changed herself, she pulled on the bikini and squealed as a hand suddenly slapped her butt. She glared at Clarke who was smiling at her innocently. "Wasn't me-" she giggled and grabbed the rucksack.<br/>
Raven rolled her eyes and she placed a first aid kit in the rucksack, she placed Clarke's pole by the door as she didn't need it and she quickly put some spare clothes in the rucksack too </p><p>The pair left Ravens room and met up with Octavia who was waiting for them. "Ready?" Octavia asked and Raven tapped on the rucksack which was on Clarke's back.<br/>
"Ready-" her words were interrupted as a voice spoke from behind them.<br/>
"If it isn't the living skeleton and her body guards."</p><p>The voice behind her made Ravens blood boil. It was the voice of the boy who pushed Clarke to breaking point. It was the voice of the monster that tormented Clarke for mount weather even though it was his fault.<br/>
She turned around in time to see his disgusting grin. Bellamy looked at Clarke and then at Raven with a disgusted look on his face. Raven was so close to socking him in the jaw,  she sighed as she felt a soft hand squeeze her own.<br/>
She looked at Clarke who was looking at her pleadingly. "Let's go-" Raven mumbled but Clarke shook her head. </p><p>Clarke was now looking over at Bellamy with a look Raven couldn't quite recognise. She felt Clarke let go of her hand and within seconds the blonde was stood infront of Bellamy. Nothing but power and determination in her stance.<br/>
"Clarke...." Octavia started, unsure of what to say. She began to walk forward but Raven held Octavia back. She shook her head and just looked at Clarke in shock.<br/>
"Say it again-" Clarke ordered and Bellamy scoffed, he shook his head. Raven raised her brows as Emori, Murphy, Jasper and Echo appeared behind Bellamy.<br/>
"Clarke?" Raven asked, uneasily not wanting the blonde to get hurt.<br/>
"I said... if it isn't the living skeleto-". Thud. Crunch. It all happened within a second. Clarke had swung for Bellamy, she punched him square in the nose and a loud Crunch sounded through the air.<br/>
The boy held onto his nose as blood started to pour down his face. </p><p>Clarke shook her head and Raven stepped forward, She reached out for Clarke yet the blonde punched Bellamy again. again. again. again.<br/>
Clarke, either zoned out or not fully registering what was happening didnt stop. Instead, she kept punching. After 4 more punches to the face she finally halted her actions and stepped back. She made her way back to Raven and smiled smugly. Raven heard a shocked laugh come from Murphy as he looked down at Bellamy then back up at Clarke. </p><p>Raven pulled Clarke back and the girl bit down on her lip, trying her hardest not to laugh which failed. Clarke burst out laughing and she intertwined her hand back with Ravens.<br/>
"Sorry I didn't quite hear You, do you want to repeat it a third time?" Clarke questioned and Bellamy simply shook his head.<br/>
Raven chuckled quietly and they started to walk away from the group of people who were all now stood around Bellamy concerned.<br/>
Just as they were walking into the woods they heard a voice speak up. Which caused them all to laugh.<br/>
"You deserved that man never mess with a cockroach." Murphy spoke and he grabbed Emori by the hand and pulled her away from them all. 

</p><p>Soon enough they reached the lake, the sparkling blue water glistened in the sunlight. Raven looked around and tilted her head to the side as she watched the birds fly into the oak trees. Clarke let go of her hand and Raven pouted. She watched as Clarke pulled off her shirt which she had pulled on to cover her bikini. "Octavia look down in the water theres something there" Clarke pointed down at the water and Octavia walked over to her. The dark haired girl looked down and screamed as Clarke pushed her into the lake effortlessly.<br/>
Clarke giggled and quickly jumped in the water and swam away from Octavia who had emerged from under the water. "I'll get you for that!" She yelled and Clarke shrieked as a wave of cold water engulfed her body.<br/>
The pair continued to splash eachother and Raven pulled off her leg brace. She made her way over to the lake and sat down on a rock which was submerged in the water. She gazed over at Clarke and a smile crept into her face. It was times like these which made her fall in love with Clarke even more, the smile on Clarke's face and the way her dimples appeared as she laughed made Ravens heart full of admiration.<br/>
It was almost like Clarke was her old self, she seemed so care free and her soft giggles filled the air. </p><p>Raven reached into the rucksack and pulled out a cigarette from the packet she had managed to get from the ark. They had figured out how to make tobacco products recently with a new machine Raven had made.<br/>
She placed the cigarette between her lips and lit the end with a match stick. She inhaled the smoke slowly and held it in for a few moments before slowly letting it back out.<br/>
Raven didn't smoke much, she mainly smoked when her leg was hurting her as the nicotine would reduce her pain, make it easier for her to relax And it helped calm her anxiety.<br/>
She inhaled again and then exhaled. Repeating the process until the cigarette had gone. She placed the end on the grass and smushed it so it didn't cause a fire.<br/>
Clarke appeared infront of Raven and the blonde pulled Raven into the water gently. She giggled and the mechanic wrapped her arms around Clarkes shoulders, she blushed as Clarke placed her hands on her hips. Raven leant forwards. Pulling the blonde into a kiss, their lips connected and a small groan came from the mechnics lips as she felt Clarke's grip tighten on her hips. She pulled away after a moment and pecked Clarke's lips.<br/>
The blonde frowned and leant forward again, planting a soft loving kiss on the tanned girls cheek. "You taste like strawberries and cigarettes.. I like it" she confessed and then turned away. Raven splashed her with water and then lowered herself down further into the water and huffed as her muscles relaxed. Finally getting used to the temperature of the water.</p><p>The three girls swam around in the lake for a few hours, splashing eachother with the water. The sun was starting to set and Clarke was swimming around  having a race with Octavia on who could reach the rock Raven was sat on the fastest. Ofcourse Clarke won. She was always swimming in the lake, it was like her little get away. Something that always made her feel safe.<br/>
Raven looked behind her as footsteps coming from the forest knocked her out of her thoughts. "Can we join?" Murphy spoke nervously and Raven turned around, she looked at Clarke who was now staring at Murphy trying to figure out why he was there.<br/>
"Yeah you can join" Raven smiled slightly and she turned around, she moved over on the rock and the blonde gulped. She watched as Clarke's bottom lip quivvered.<br/>
Raven looked at her lovingly and she nodded her head implying that she could trust Murphy again. </p><p>Murphy got into the water and Emori sat next to Raven on the rock. Raven laughed at Murphy as the boys face scrunched up, clearly he wasn't a fan of the water either.<br/>
"Hey cockroa-" Murphy was interrupted as Clarke wrapped her arms around his shoulders, the blonde inhaled a shaky breath and Raven glanced at the two with a smile on her face. Clarke tightened her grip on Murphy as the boy wrapped his arms around her waist. He held her tightly and the blonde began to cry. Being Overwhelmed with happiness at the fact her Bestfriend was back by her side. Sure they had differences and arguments but Clarke had a connection to Murphy. The pair were like brother and sister. "Hey cockroach" Clarke whispered and she pulled away from the embrace. She wiped the tears away from her face and Murphy smiled at her.<br/>
"Hey Blondie" he whispered and looked down. Clarke shook her head and splashed him a little with the water. She knew what he was going to say and so did Raven.<br/>
"I'm sorry" he whispered. His voice laced in shame. The blonde nodded her head and ruffled his hair up. "I know you are but you're here now though" she smiled and then looked over at Raven. </p><p>Raven glanced back at Clarke, she knew how much that meant to Clarke.<br/>
"How about we get out of here?" Raven spoke and everyone nodded. They all got out the water as it was getting a little cold and Raven covered Clarke's body with a large towel, the blonde quickly got changed into her clean clothes and then did the same so Raven and octavia could change.<br/>
Once everyone was dry the five of them made their way back to camp. They walked the long was through the woods and finally through the fence back into the camp.<br/>
"You okay?" Raven asked as she looked at Clarke who was smiling to herself.<br/>
"Yeah.. You know I think I am" Clarke replied.</p><p>"Clarke where were you staying?" Emori questioned and Raven raised her eyebrows. Even she hadn't seen what Clarke's hut was like. Sure she knew which one it was, but she hadn't been inside it.<br/>
She heard Clarke sigh and the blonde shrugged her shoulders. "Uhm ill show you-" she mumbled quietly.<br/>
Raven kept a firm hold on Clarke's hand as she led all of them towards her old hut. It was placed at the back of the camps grounds. She felt Clarke tense up. Raven rubbed her thumb over the back of Clarke's hand and she moved the wooden make shift door out of the way.<br/>
"Come in then" Clarke mumbled as she let go of Ravens hand. The four followed the Blonde into her hut and Raven felt her heart break a little.<br/>
Raven walked over to Clarke's bed, which was just a bit of metal with a thin hard mattress ontop of it. She had a small blanket and something red. Raven reached down and grabbed the red item of clothing. A small smile appearing on her face. It was her old red leather jacket. She looked over at Clarke who flashed her a little smile. "it felt like home" Clarke whispered and Raven pulled her into a hug.<br/>
"It looks better on you anyway" Raven whispered back and she pulled the red jacket over Clarke's shoulders. </p><p>Octavia felt her eyes fill with tears, she walked over to a drawing on the wall. Her fingers traced over the edges and She pulled it down off the wall. It was a portrait of her the day of her birthday, her and Clarke had spent the day dancing by a fire with the others as Raven and Murphy were trying to come up with a beat by banging on some tubs. "Can i keep it?" She turned around and Clarke nodded her head.<br/>
"You can.." She muttered and Octavia simply nodded. </p><p>"We have some sausages and burgers we can have a fire if you want?" Emori spoke and Clarke nodded her head.<br/>
Raven walked out of Clarke's old hut and the four followed behind her.<br/>
She sat down on a log by the fire pit and Clarke sat down next to her and Octavia grabbed some firewood and set them on fire with a match and some homemade fire fluid.<br/>
Once the fire was steady Octavia and Murphy grabbed a metal rack and placed the food ontop of it.<br/>
Immediately Raven noticed Clarke's body tense up. The blonde scrunched her face up and looked down at her hands.<br/>
"Can I use the tube please?" She mumbled quietly to Raven and she nodded.<br/>
Raven glanced over at Octavia and gestured towards Clarke. She got the hint instantly and got up. Octavia quickly walked into Ravens room and grabbed the pole along with the first aid kit, a new tube since she needed to change it and some new bandages. She walked out of the room and placed all the things near Raven.</p><p>"Can I still try?" Clarke asked. She scrunched her face up as Raven dampened the plaster on her cheek and pulled it off being careful not to hurt her.<br/>
"Ofcourse you can you don't need to ask" Raven replied,  she giggled as Clarke's nose began to twitch.<br/>
The blonde girl inhaled a breath. She looked over at Murphy apologetically and he shook his head. Silently telling her she had nothing to be sorry for.<br/>
Raven gently placed a tissue on Clarke's nose and in one gentle swift motion she removed the tube. She placed it in a paper trash bag and Clarke covered her face up and sneezed.<br/>
She giggled to herself and looked up at Raven with a cheeky smile.<br/>
As Clarke began to set up her pole Raven lubed up the new tube, she inserted it into Clarke's nostril and the blonde gagged a little, she swallowed the tube and Raven tucked it behind her ear and then secured it with a plaster that was decorated in butterflies. </p><p>Clarke attached the tube from the bag of food to her tube, she unlocked the latch and watched as the beige liquid filled her tube and slowly went through into her nose.<br/>
Murphy smiled at her and Emori handed her a bottle of water. Clarke took a sip and rested her hand on Ravens thigh.<br/>
Minutes passed and Murphy handed out some burgers and sausages to the group on paper plates. Clarke tilted her head to the side, she looked over at Murphy who handed her her own burger. It had two bottom buns on it and Clarke smiled gratefully. She always hated having a burger with the stereotypical top half of the bun and bottom half. She claimed it was too much bread. So she had two bottoms whereas Murphy would have two tops. </p><p>"Thank you" she took a small bite and swallowed it without a second thought. Raven watched as Clarke ate half of the burger bite by bite. She had a glimmer of hope in her eyes for the first time, which didn't go unnoticed to Raven.<br/>
After the five of them had finished eating Octavia walked over to Clarke and gave her a quick hug, then she hugged Raven.<br/>
"Thank you for today.. it's been amazing" Clarke announced and Octavia shook her head.<br/>
"No, thank you Clarke." She smiled and walked back to her chambers turning in for the night.<br/>
After Octavia left Murphy and Emori werent long to follow. The pair of them both hugged Clarke and Raven before walking back to their own chambers. </p><p>Raven sighed softly and she looked at Clarke who was staring at her. "Lets get to bed beautiful" Clarke said. She stood up and grabbed her pole with one hand and Ravens hand with her other. The two girls walked into Ravens room and locked the door behind them. Clarke turned on the small heater and stripped off, she pulled on some joggers and a shirt and Raven got changed into a shirt and a pair of joggers too.<br/>
Raven climbed into her bed and Clarke snuggled up next to her, their legs intertwined with one another's and Clarke rested her head on Ravens chest.<br/>
"I love you-" she heard Clarke whisper half asleep and Raven kissed her cheek softly and pulled the blankets over the both of them.<br/>
"I love you too princess" she whispered back and the pair fell asleep moments after.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Be Alright</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>This chapter includes some soft Octavia And Lincoln moments!<br/>They talk about Clarke, go on a hunt and Lincoln comforts Octavia as she confessed how guilty she feels over what had happened to Clarke!</p><p>Echo finally ditches Bellamy after his actions become too much for her to ignore.</p><p>"I can't keep doing this Bellamy. You.. you're a horrible person and I can't stay by your side after this- you do need to stop" Echo whispered and Murphy opened the door, the two girls walked outside and he glanced at Bellamy one last time.<br/>"Even your girlfriend.. thinks you're a monster" He stated and followed the girls out of the room. Slamming the door behind him.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Trigger warning for this chapter includes mentioning of past su*c*de attempts, eating disorders and self injury!</p><p>There's not much of Clarke in this chapter as it's mainly based on how her friends are handling her situation! </p><p>Kudos and comments are appreciated :)</p><p>Enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>13th June 2145</p><p>Octavia Blake.</p><p>Octavia Blake had spent the majority of her life in a metal cage. Since she could remember the only memories she had on the ark were of her body being shoved into a hole in the floor whenever the council did a surprise inspection. She became used to the dull walls and cold floors. The room was only ever lit up when Bellamy and her mother came back from their days at work or school. She had been trapped her entire life.<br/>
Perhaps this was why she was so excited to go to the ground, it was the most freedom she had ever had. Perhaps this was why she never passes up the opportunity to go on a stroll through the forest.<br/>
Ever since earth became her home Octavia spent most of her days exploring. Despite the risk of danger that was always present due to the grounders and toxic plants and scary animals, She always felt her safest when she was out and surrounded by nature. Which was something her and Clarke had in common.</p><p>She loved to explore the forest by herself, it gave her time to think but this time she had become lost. The trees made it harder for her to see where she was going and the setting sun only stunted her vision more.<br/>
She felt like someone was following her - strangely enough she didn't feel scared. But she knew deep down whoever it was could have been a danger so she ran. She ran until her legs gave out and she ended up stumbling over a tree branch.<br/>
That's when she saw him. Lincoln.</p><p>He was standing behind a tree, he was even more tanned than usual, his dark tattoos looked even darker due to the sunlight and he was staring at her intensely. She slowly made her way back onto her feet and brushed off the dirt and leaves that were now on her clothing.<br/>
The man stood in the shadows for a few moments, eventually be stepped out into the looming light from the setting sun. She tilted her head to the side like a curious puppy and Lincoln made his way over to her quickly. She knew anyone else would have ran away but she felt something for him. They had just been friends since they had first met but they had a connection neither one or them could ignore.<br/>
Well she couldn't deny that she felt something. It was like a strange pulling sensation. Almost like Lincoln had a piece of string and was pulling her closer to him like a puppet. Yet there wasn't a string and Lincoln looked just as nervous as she did. The pair of them had recently just started to date, the new stage in their relationship had made Octavia realise just how much the man loved her. And how much she loved him. </p><p>"are Yu bash op?". (Are you hurt). The man spoke and Octavia furrowed her eyebrows, a smile appeared on her face and She looked at him but she didn't answer. She was too busy admiring the way the sun shone down on his body. And the way his face tensed up as he looked down at her.<br/>
"Are you hurt?" The man spoke again and Octavia shook her head. She looked down at her leg and noticed a small patch of blood seep through her thin trousers. She sighed and looked back up at him.<br/>
"Apparently I am-" she mumbled and the man laughed. Octavia automatically smiled and His hand reached out.<br/>
She took a step forward and placed her hand ontop of his as he helped her out of the small ditch she had fallen into.</p><p>Lincoln gently led Octavia into a small looking cave near a creek. She had been In the forest enough times to know that the creek led down into the lake her and her friends were in the previous day.<br/>
She sat down on a rock in the cave and the man knelt down infront of her. "Why were you following me?" Octavia questioned and Lincoln chuckled deeply.<br/>
He rolled up Octavias leggings and poured some clean water over her wound.<br/>
"I wasn't following you.. you're not supposed to be out by yourself. But I know you like to.. so I was keeping my eye on you" He placed a small gauze over her little wound and kissed the girls forehead gently. She rolled her eyes at the grounded and stood up. She leant up and kissed his cheek gently. </p><p>His home was bigger than it looked, lit by a fire and some homemade candles. It was simplistic but cosy. A place that felt like home. He felt like home.<br/>
She used to think Bellamy was her home, but she had soon realised he wasn't. She knew a home like that was toxic and unhealthy. Sure she loved her brother, But he was a awful person.<br/>
"Ste Klark kei?" (Is Clarke okay) Lincoln asked and Octavia ran her fingers through her hair. She shrugged her shoulders and sat down on Lincoln's bed. Her boyfriend sat down next to her and placed his arm around her body supportively.<br/>
"She's getting there, it's like the old Clarke is back. Yesterday we went to the lake and Bellamy stopped us before hand. He made a comment on her being a skeleton and Raven and I being body guards. Raven was about to sock him in the jaw but Clarke beat her to it. She broke his nose." She chuckled quietly as she told the story and Lincoln laughed himself.<br/>
"I see shes feeling -" he thought for a moment and Octavia looked up at him with a smile.<br/>
He raised his eyebrows and looked down at his girlfriend "better?" He asked with a slight questionable tone.<br/>
"Better" Octavia repeated and she began to trace random patterns over Lincoln's muscular arms.<br/>
She traced her fingers along the few war wounds and scars on his arms. She pursed her lips and met his gaze with her own. </p><p>She furrowed her eyebrows and Lincoln held out his arms, without a second thought she climbed into his lap and rested her head on his chest.<br/>
"Are you okay?" He asked and she nodded her head with slight hesitation. It didn't go unmissed.<br/>
She sighed and shook her head.<br/>
His grip around her body tightened and Lincoln planted a kiss on the top of her head.<br/>
"Its just.. I feel so guilty over whats happening to Clarke, I know shes getting better but.. I can't stop feeling like im a terrible person.. I love her linc I really do shes like a sister to me" she wrapped her legs around his waist and nuzzled her head onto his shoulder.<br/>
"You dont need to feel guilty I know it's hard, but the thing is Clarke had been strong for too long Octavia, the pressure, the responsibility and the hate she was getting made her brain turn against her. She loves you too and she forgives you. You've got to forgive yourself. She'll be alright" He spoke softly and reassuringly. </p><p>Octavia nodded her head and smiled slightly. She knew he was right, she knew deep down that she needed to forgive herself for abandoning Clarke those many months ago.<br/>
"Oso gaf gon get dina gon camp". (We need to get food for camp) Octavia whispered and Lincoln nodded. He stood up from the bed and carefully placed Octavia back on her own feet.<br/>
Octavia pulled on her sweatshirt and Lincoln grabbed his knife and a few arrows that he had carved out a few weeks prior.<br/>
She held her hand out and Lincoln intertwined his hand with hers. The two of them walked out of Lincoln's cave and Octavia pointed over at the deer that was to their right.<br/>
Lincoln threw the arrow and the deer thudded to the ground.<br/>
Octavia made her way over to the deer, she sat down next to the lifeless animal and took the knife from Lincoln. </p><p>She carefully began to skin the deer, while Lincoln hunted for a few more animals. Once she had skinned the deer she tied some string around its legs and folded the skin up the best she could. She swung the body over her shoulders and walked over to Lincoln who was holding his hand out for her.<br/>
Octavia grabbed onto his hand and looked down at his other hand which was holding a few deers and rabbits on string to make it easier to carry. The duo slowly made their way through the forest, hand in hand.<br/>
Once they reached the camp Octavia crept through the fence and pulled Lincoln through.<br/>
They heard a familiar laugh and Octavia pulled Lincoln over to The fire pit. She placed the animals down on the floor and Clarke turned around.</p><p>She looked up and smiled at Octavia and Lincoln.<br/>
"Ha yu? Ai yu don nou seen Yu raun bida gou"<br/>
(How're you I haven't seen you in a long time)<br/>
she spoke to Lincoln and the man shrugged his shoulders, he smiled a little and walked over to the blonde. He gave her a quick hug and then pulled away. He sat down next to Octavia on the log opposite Clarke.<br/>
"Ai laik ku , Yu look ena"<br/>
(Im fine, you look well) he replied and looked over at Raven who was still a bit new to the grounders language. However she was having lessons from Clarke every once in a while. He smiled and then looked back at Clarke as the blonde spoke.<br/>
"Thank you" She replied and Octavia pointed down at the animals. </p><p>As midnight hit Clarke and Raven retired into their chambers. Leaving Octavia and Lincoln in eachother company by the fire.<br/>
After a while Octavia sat down on the floor. She reached down and pulled a deer closer to her. She flicked the knife open and effortlessly skinned the deers carcass in a matter of moments. Lincoln moved behind her and he grabbed another deer, helping her out with the process. The two of them finished skinning the animals and they called a guard over who took the skinned animals to the kitchen to be prepared for meals for the week.<br/>
As the night air got colder Octavia felt her body being lifted up, she chuckled quietly and wrapped her arms around Lincoln who had picked her up.<br/>
"Where's your chambers?" He whispered and Octavia pointed to the room which was opposite Clarke and Ravens. He nodded his head and walked to her room, he unlocked the door and walked inside. Octavia kicked the door shut behind them and groaned as her body hit her soft bed. </p><p>"Hm" she mumbled and Lincoln began to pull her clothes off. He lifted her shirt off over her head and then her leggings and shoes. After he had gotten her undressed he pulled a night shirt on her tired body and a pair of leggings. He took off his own shoes, jeans and shirt and laid down next to her. Octavia pulled the blankets over their bodies and she let out a soft sigh as her body was pulled closer to the warmth of Lincoln's. She rested her hand on his toned stomach and her head on his chest. She moved her left leg over his and he sighed happily. </p><p>------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>John Murphy aka Cockroach </p><p>Murphy was sat on the step of his chambers, he glanced out at the empty looking camp and bought his cigarette up to his mouth.<br/>
Inhale. Exhale. Blow. Inhale. Exhale. Blow. Repeat.<br/>
He sighed and blew out the remainder of the smoke, he kicked the back of his left foot effortlessly and looked back as a soft hand moved onto his shoulder.<br/>
Emori sat down next to him and she pursed her lips - scrunching her face up slightly as Murphy threw the cigarette end on the floor. </p><p>Murphy stares at the sky. His brown orbs fixated on the white clouds as they moved across the never ending blue. Emori stayed silent next to him. She knew he felt guilty over what he had said and done to Clarke. And there was nothing anybody could do to change the past. She knew that. Everybody knew it. But Murphy especially knew it.<br/>
No matter how hard he tried he couldn't shake the pain he felt in his chest when he remembered the horrible words he once spat at his bestfriend.<br/>
"I don't know how they do it" Murphy spoke. Emori knew he wasn't necessarily talking to her, infact she was sure he was talking to himself But still she answered. </p><p>"What do you mean?" Emori asked, her tone was softer than usual. Something that made Murphy relax a little bit. Still he didn't look at her, he simply dropped his gaze and looked at the floor instead.<br/>
He shrugged his shoulders and picked at his nails.<br/>
"Bellamy, Jasper and everyone" he mumbled.<br/>
He leant back against the door as Emori shut it, not wanting the cool morning breeze to make their bedroom cold.<br/>
She shook her head. Not really knowing what to say.<br/>
"I don't know" she whispered back.<br/>
Truth be told it hurt Emori to see her boyfriend blame himself the way he was. She didn't really know what he had said to Clarke in the past, all she knew was that it was bad enough that he was still punishing himself.<br/>
"They don't notice her you know?" Murphy looked around the camp, he gestured to the few people who were walking around making their way to their jobs or to the mess hall for some food.<br/>
"They look at her like she's some disgusting, worthless disease-" he paused for a moment and kicked his feet again, feeling a bubble of rage brewing inside of him.<br/>
"They look at her like she's damaged and broken, like something thats not worth being fixed. Asif it wasn't their fault in the first place. I know it was my fault too. The things I said to her - the things I've blamed her for. Emori its enough to cause any sane person to break. But having every single person you love think the same about you-" he choked back the lump in his throat and ran his fingers through his hair.<br/>
"No wonder she tried to-" He stopped talking. </p><p>He got up on his feet and sighed. "You know.. - I can't do this. I can't sit here while they are in there not feeling this unbearable guilt that we all feel". Emori opened her mouth to speak but she was too late. Within a few seconds Murphy was barging into Bellamys quarters. To no surprise everyone was there.<br/>
Everyone who still hated Clarke.<br/>
"Get out-" Bellamy ordered and Murphy shook his head. He stood near the door and Emori appeared next to him.<br/>
"I just- I need to say something" he sighed yet again and Bellamy rolled his eyes as he sat down next to jasper on the floor with Harper, Echo and Monty on his other side. </p><p>"I can't watch you all sit in here thinking the things youre thinking. I've been thinking and I can't believe how blind you all are." Murphy shut the door and sat down in a chair infront of them all. "Do you remember when we hit the ground? How chaotic it was? The fights and arguments happened within a few hours. Clarke immediately tried to take charge, not that it ended well. I mean Bellamy you and your goons tried to kill her, just because she didn't take her damn wrist band off. She ordered everyone around and told everyone to get their shit together." Murphy took a deep breath and he looked over at Jasper and then at Bellamy.<br/>
"You know Bellamy tried to kill you Jasper? I remember it now. He had a gun from the ark and just because you were annoying him he wanted to kill you" he smiled sarcastically before continuing "and Clarke stopped him. She stood infront of him before he could get to you and said 'Sorry if Jasper's an inconvenience to you, but this isn't the Ark. Down here, every life matters.' But you didn't know that did you Jasper? Because the saviour Bellamy here neglected to tell you that."<br/>
Jasper shook his head, he looked up at Bellamy who's face was now bright red with anger. </p><p>Murphy rested his hands on his lap. "Clarke-". He paused as his words were cut short yet again.<br/>
"Listen Murphy." Bellamy spoke and Murphy felt his body bubble with even more rage.<br/>
"That doesn't change the fact Clarke killed 300 grounders on the bridge, she murdered Finn, she's killed so many people Murphy just because she stopped eating and hurt herself doesnt mean we have to give her a pity party. She didn't do the full thing did She? It's not like she actually killed herself." It took every ounce of Murphy's energy to not kill Bellamy right there and then.</p><p>"No but she's tried, shes tried. Attempt after attempt. First time she tried? After we blamed her for me being hanged.<br/>
Second time? After Jasper nearly died.<br/>
Third time was when she found out her mother got her dad killed.<br/>
Fourth time. The bridge<br/>
Fifth. Mount weather.<br/>
Six. Just because she wanted it all to stop! She wanted our judgement to stop. Your fucking lies to stop. She wanted her brain to stop.<br/>
NOW I WANT YOU TO STOP BELLAMY." He shouted and Bellamy placed his hand on Echo's thigh. The girl moved away from him quickly and stood up. Murphy scoffed and put his hands in the air as the group didnt seem to care about anything he was saying.</p><p>Echo's bottom lip quivvered and she walked over to Emori who wrapped her arms around her friend comfortingly. "I can't keep doing this Bellamy. You.. you're a horrible person and I can't stay by your side after this- you do need to stop" Echo whispered and Murphy opened the door, the two girls walked outside and he glanced at Bellamy one last time.<br/>
"Even your girlfriend.. thinks you're a monster" He stated and followed the girls out of the room. Slamming the door behind him. </p><p>Murphy inhaled a breath as he caught up with Emori and Echo. The three made their way into Murphy and Emoris room. He pulled off his jacket and Emori laid down on the bed with Echo, the two girls were holding eachother tightly. Echo was sobbing into Emoris chest. Murphy looked over at his girlfriend and frowned a little.<br/>
"You'll be alright-" he whispered as he sat down on the bed next to The crying girl.<br/>
She nodded her head weakly and stayed huddled up between the two. Which Ofcourse they didn't mind, they knew she needed the comfort. </p><p>After all she had been deceived by Bellamy and his wall of lies since the day they met. Only now was she aware of how truly disgusting the truth was which he was hiding. "I'm sorry-" she whispered and Murphy placed his hand on Echos back reassuringly. He knew how she felt. He knew the guilt she must be feeling, the pain. The anger. The anger at herself, mainly because she had been stupid enough to believe that maybe once she had found a decent guy.<br/>
"Will Clarke be alright?" She whispered as her sobs seemed to calm down. Only being replaced by small sniffles as her friend played with her hair to calm her down. </p><p>"Clarke is-" yet again Murphy was interrupted, he groaned loudly and looked over at the doorway, a small smile appearing on his face as the blonde walked inside his quarters hand in hand with Raven.<br/>
"I'm fine-" she smiled and slowly made her way over to the bed.<br/>
Echo gazed over at Clarke with a slight frown, her eyes narrowed and she gulped as the blonde came closer. </p><p>Clarke sat down on the bed as did Raven. Murphy moved over and Echo sat up, she swapped places with Murphy so he could be near Emori. Tears sprung from Echo's eyes as Clarke wrapped her arms around the crying girls body. She tenderly rubbed her back and let go after a few moments.<br/>
"I'm so sorry... I just- I just thought I could trust him.. He seemed so good. So nice? Caring.. I'm sorry I didn't notice what you were going through.. I just-" she looked down at her hands and Clarke wiped Echos tears away gently.<br/>
"Just thought he was a good guy?" She finished off Echos sentence and the girl nodded her head sadly.<br/>
Clarke sat down next to her on the bed and pulled Raven closer to her, raven rested her head on Clarke's stomach and smiled as Clarke fiddled with her hair.
Echo leant on Clarke's shoulder as the blonde wrapped her free hand around her back, she looked at her other friends and chuckled as they all ended up cuddling in a pile on the bed.

</p>
<p>"Sorry but.. is Raven the secret bottom?" Murphy looked over at Clarke, she nodded her head and raven shook hers in embarrassment denying what Clarke had just agreed on. "No.. I just- shut up cockroach" she huffed in fake annoyance and Echo glanced at the two before nodding her head.<br/>
"Clarke is A top and Raven is a power bottom" Echo stated and Raven choked back a laugh. She laughed loudly and suddenly the room erupted with laughter and happiness. </p><p>Clarke looked down at the mechanic who was giggling to herself. She looked over at Murphy and smiled at him.<br/>
"Everything will be alright" she whispered and they all nodded.<br/>
They all knew it would be alright, sure it would be difficult and they all had their own challenges and issues to face up to but with each others love and support they all knew it would be okay.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Can you hold me?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Raven starts to struggle again due to stress from her current situation and breaks down.<br/>Her friends finally get to know about her life on the ark and how her parents treated her. </p><p>"That's when she realised she had finally found her family. Her friends. They meant the entire world to Her, and she knew they were all lucky to have eachother."</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Includes mentioning of abusive parents/substance abuse So if these trigger you please do not read this chapter! </p><p>Leave kudos and vote please! It'll mean alot! </p><p>Also leave suggestions on what you want to see in the future/ anything you want me to include or touch up on :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>16th June 2145</p><p>Raven Reyes </p><p>Raven slowly started to wake up as the bright summer sun shone through the curtains.<br/>
She let out a soft sigh as she looked at Clarke who was sitting next to her drawing.<br/>
"Goodmorning-" she whispered and Clarke smiled.<br/>
The blonde put her notebook down on the side and she leant forward, planting a gentle kiss on Ravens forehead.<br/>
"I have -". Raven inhaled a shaky breath as Clarke began to kiss along her jawline. Her chest felt tight like she was underwater.<br/>
She let out a soft moan and her face flushed bright red. "Work.. I have to work". She mumbled as Clarke pulled away with a prominent pout on her lips.</p><p>Raven smiled at Clarke. She climbed out from beneath the covers hesitantly. She wasn't really in the mood to work. She walked over to the sink and splashed cold water on her face before she pulled on a black hoodie over her white bralette. She shivered a little unable to escape the slight chill that was in the early morning air.<br/>
She carefully placed her leg brace over her injured leg and groaned as it clasped around her limb uncomfortably.<br/>
"I'll be back soon Okay? I'm only working in the main part of the ark" she smiled a little at Clarke and then left her quarters.<br/>
She made her way over to where she was working and got all her tools out. </p><p>Sometimes Raven just wished she was back on the ark in space. Atleast in space she didn't really have any responsibilities. All she had to so was get up and attend class.<br/>
She could walk around without the fear of radiation or the possibility of death that loomed around every corner.<br/>
Well, she was still the youngest mechanic to ever hit the ark. Now she was one of the only mechanics on Earth. The planet was the one thing she longed for, but as soon as she was there she soon realised it wasn't the peaceful sanctuary she dreamed it would be. The beautiful planet she had only ever seen through the windows on the ark was now the one thing she hated the most. </p><p>Raven gripped onto her flame torch. She snapped the handle down and squinted as the scorching hot fire lit up the metal of a pipe.<br/>
She let out a small sigh and turned the flame off.<br/>
Bang. Bang. Bang.<br/>
The mechanic pounded the metal pipe with a hammer. The noise shot through her head causing her to groan. A wave of unwanted memories came flooding through her head as the sound of the hammer triggered her darkest moments.<br/>
She wasn't quite sure why the memories were coming back to her now, it had been years since they had swarmed her mind but it was probably due to stress and her sleep deprivation. </p><p>Truth be told Raven was struggling. She was anxious all the time, She was also the best at hiding how she really felt.<br/>
It's not something she liked to admit. Not to her friends anyway. She didn't like anyone to think she was weak. Not that other people who struggled were weak but to Raven she was weak whenever she felt scared or let her guard down.<br/>
She was scared of how Clarke was doing. Some days Clarke was getting on great. Other days the girl refused to put anything in her body which resulted in Raven having to force her to have the tube.<br/>
She was scared that one day she would come back to her room and Clarke wouldn't be breathing or she would have ran away. Or even worse. Tried to end her life again.</p><p>She was scared that She wouldn't be able to live up to everyone's expectations. Everyone expected her to be strong and powerful. But she wasn't. Not all the time anyway, there were times when she would wait until Clarke was fast asleep and just break down.<br/>
Times she tried her hardest to shut everyone out because maybe it would be better for them to not have her in their lives. </p><p>But what scared her the most was when she couldn't find a way to do the job she had been asked to do. No matter how hard she would try sometimes it was impossible. It wasnt impossible because she wasn't capable of doing the job but because she didn't think she could do it and sometimes her insecurities won the battle with her mind. </p><p>She found it exhausting to keep up with people's views on her. She was known for being the Brave girl who was awake through surgery.<br/>
The strong girl who survived being shot. The amazing girl that saved the ark multiple times from radiation and lack of oxygen before she reached the age of 15.<br/>
Powerful, Strong, brave and amazing Raven. </p><p>She hated that word. "Powerful". There wasn't anything powerful about her. She was just a damn mechanic. A girl who could use a hammer and work on cars and engines. She had to be Brave though even if it was fake she couldn't let anybody see how she truly felt. She would rather people think all these things about her than see her for what she truly was. Scared. God she was so scared. </p><p>Raven has always been the loyal friend. Always trying to put on a brave face no matter what she had been through. Losing her parents had only made her build up the facade even more. Her walls built up higher the moment her parents died. They weren't amazing parents. They were the worst. They didn't really love her they just used her for their own benefit.<br/>
She had made it her goal to please others. Her life on the ark was constantly the same. Day in day out the same routine. Wakeup, put on her mask, eat, work, sleep. Repeat. </p><p>Raven slammed the hammer down on the floor as her hand began to shake. She looked down at the tool box and kicked it in pure anger.<br/>
Why couldn't she just do this simple job? Why are the memories coming back Now?<br/>
She looked back at the pipe and slammed her fists against the wall. Pain instantly shot through her hands as her skin split open, blood dripped down on the floor.  The pain seemed to cloud her brain causing the memories to fade. </p><p>The never ending responsibility to be the best mechanic was circling around her head. She had to do the job.<br/>
"Come on Raven". One of the fellow mechanics said as he walked past her and she kicked the tool box again.<br/>
Again.<br/>
Again.<br/>
Again.<br/>
Fuck. Raven inhaled a breath and grabbed the hammer yet again.<br/>
No. No. No. No.<br/>
She gripped onto the handle and swung it back and then forward. Banging a few bolts and screws into the pipe. The pipe burst and she jumped back. Images of her body being slammed against the wall pushed through her brain to the front of her thoughts. "STOP!" she screamed and punched the wall yet again.</p><p>Raven scrunched her face up as her chest tightened. It felt like a knife had been stabbed through her heart. Her lungs were empty and she hunched over.<br/>
Breathe..<br/>
Breathe..<br/>
She couldn't do it. "FUCK!" she screamed and dropped down to her knees as she gasped for a breath.<br/>
Nothing was happening. No matter how hard she tried to breath her lungs still throbbed due to emptiness.<br/>
She felt a hand on her shoulder. Who was it?<br/>
She didn't look up. She only gasped harder.<br/>
This used to happen to her all the time. She hadn't had an anxiety attack for years.<br/>
"Raven breathe" she heard the voice again. Yet she still couldn't. Her head was spinning and her forehead was dripping in sweat. </p><p>Ravens brain was cloudy, unable to form any words or help herself. All she could do was sit while her worst memories engulfed her like a fire. She looked back at the figure. Murphy.<br/>
Fuck It was Murphy. Her breath was short and unstable, oxygen barely making it into her lungs before she exhaled again. She felt like she was about to pass out at any moment.<br/>
This was the worst anxiety attack she has had for years. </p><p>Everything sounded muffled, quiet. She didn't register the fact her body had been pulled away from her work. She was now in Murphy's arms being taken to god knows were.<br/>
"Breathe! God damn it Raven!" The voice spoke and her head fell backwards.<br/>
Dark. Darkness flooded through her mind and her eyes clamped shut.<br/>
She didn't even register the fact she had now been placed in a bathtub. Murphy pulled her jacket off and she kept her eyes glued shut and her breathing increased even more. She panted harder, still unable to get any oxygen into her lungs before she automatically exhaled. starving her lungs of a vital necessity. Her face was beginning to turn blue from the lack of air. A scream escaped her lips as more memories attacked her subconscious. </p><p>It wasn't long until a cold wave washed over her. She inhaled a sharp breath in shock and held it in. Her lungs burnt and she exhaled again. Inhaling another breath moments later. The memories began to fade slowly until her mind was blank.<br/>
She opened her eyes and wrapped her arms around her legs. Goosebumps appearing all over her body.<br/>
The silence was broken a few minutes after by a voice. she looked up slowly and tears rolled down her cheeks. Her eyes met with Murphy's and the man turned the shower off. He scooped her up out of the tub and wrapped a large towel around her trembling body. </p><p>"Are you okay?" An eyebrow raised at her curiously.</p><p>The answer was no, but she nodded her head earning a look of concern from the boy. She knew he didn't believe her so there wasn't any point in lying anymore. "No.." she muttered faster than her brain could stop her. She gulped. Suddenly feeling an unbearable amount of guilt and sadness.<br/>
Murphy shook his head and placed her down on his bed. "You had a anxiety attack Raven nobody who has one of them is fine"<br/>
Raven's eyes filled with tears once more and she looked down at her hands. She felt like she could just cry and cry. She knew once she started she wouldn't be able to stop.<br/>
"Get. Get clarke" she whispered and Murphy nodded without questioning it. </p><p>He seemed to disappear within seconds. She crossed her arms over her legs and curled up into a ball. She rested her head on her knees and her body trembled even more.<br/>
Her skin was freezing and she wanted nothing more than to be out of it. Tare off every inch of her skin and just run. She felt like she was a failure.<br/>
Tears Spilled down her cheeks in thick, burning droplets.<br/>
The door opened softly causing her to look up.<br/>
Her gaze dropped as she heard Clarke walk over.<br/>
Raven knew Clarke had never seen her this fragile before. </p><p>"Rae look at me, you're okay" Clarke was speaking to her but she didn't quite catch all her words.<br/>
The blondes mouth was moving but whatever came after, Raven didn't know. She gulped as Clarke sat down next to her. Ravens body seemed to react quicker than her mind, she slumped her body against Clarke and the blinde wrapped her into a gentle hug and began to rock her back and fourth, her hand was rubbing her back soothingly.</p><p>"I won't leave you"<br/>
Clarke gently pulled Ravens wet shirt off of her body. Murphy grabbed another towel and handed it to Clarke. The blonde glanced down at Ravens bare skin, she bit down on her bottom lip as she noticed large scars and burn marks on the mechanics back. She tilted her head to the side as her eyes focused on a black tattoo on the girls ribcage. She traced her fingers over the Dragon sketch and then looked over at Murphy who simply shrugged.<br/>
Raven sat still as Clarke dressed her in warm clothes, her body was pushed back as a pair of leggings were pulled onto her legs. Raven tiltes her head back, she couldn't look at Clarke right now. The mechanic couldn't handle it if she saw even a hint of pity in Clarke's eyes. </p><p>"I can't do it" Raven confesses as her tears transformed into sobs.<br/>
She heard Murphy gulp and she shook her head.<br/>
Raven felt her cheeks sting when Clarke raised her hands to her face slowly and used her thumbs to rub the tears from under her eyes.<br/>
The mechanic's eyes looked up to meet clarkes deep stare. She looked worried.<br/>
"I'm not.. This strong person people think I am" she whispered and Clarke ran her fingers through Ravens hair.<br/>
Her hands shook harder. Her mind screamed at her telling her to run. To hide from danger extreme danger, she knew there wasn't any danger but her mind was screaming. She had to get out.<br/>
Everything seemed unreal.<br/>
She felt like she had just let off a nuclear bomb. She knew she had now burdened Clarke with her problems which, was something she never wanted to do. </p><p>She uncurled her legs and wiped her cheeks, ridding of the salty tears that stung her sensitive skin. She pushed herself away from Clarke gently. She was trying so hard to forget the memories that were still in the back of her mind.<br/>
She felt like nothing was going to bring her back this time - until she felt it.<br/>
Her hands stung due to the cuts and bruises that were forming on her fists.<br/>
Raven looked over at the door. She thought for a moment, she knew she wouldn't be able to get far. Maybe she could get far enough?</p><p>Without a second thought she pushed herself up from the bed and ran for the door. She opened the door and sprinted outside. Her leg throbbed and again tears filled her eyes from the pain.<br/>
Raven ran toward the make shift bar that was on the grounds of the ark.<br/>
Rage filled her veins like venom.<br/>
Luckily nobody was in there as it was early.<br/>
She made her way over to the bar and gripped onto a glass, she wrapped her slender fingers around the object and launched it at the wall.<br/>
She let out a loud scream and threw another glass at the wall.<br/>
"Raven-" she looked behind her for a moment. Long enough for her to notice Clarke and Murphy were at the door. </p><p>She looked back at the bar and grabbed glass after glass. Smashing each one against the wall. Pieces of glass flew through the room and she felt her knees go weak. Before she could hit the ground Clarke had her shaking frame in her arms. She pulled Raven away from the glass and sat down on the floor.<br/>
"I'm so sorry-" she whispered and Clarke held her even tighter as Murphy began to clean up the mess.<br/>
He looked over at Raven and she continued to cry. She felt awful.<br/>
She knew sooner or later she would have to tell them what happened but she couldn't. Not now. </p><p>As Ravens sobs slowed down she coughed softly, clearing her throat.<br/>
"What's this about Rae?" Clarke whispered and Ravens throat closed. She shook her head and whimpered. Not wanting to explain.<br/>
She could feel herself dissociating from her friends. She knew it was only temporary as it happened alot when she was younger. It was like her mind was underwater, like she wasn't really there.<br/>
Raven watched as Murphy walked over to Her, he scooped her body up and Clarke stood up.</p><p>She rested her head on his shoulder and sighed as he walked out of the bar and towards her quarters.<br/>
Clarke pointed to the bed and Murphy placed Raven down.<br/>
The mechanic turned away from her friends and nuzzled into Clarke's pillow.<br/>
"I want to sleep.. can you hold me?" she mumbled and the bed dipped as Clarke climbed in beside her. </p><p>Raven shuffled closer to Clarke and rested her head on her chest, her legs wrapped around Clarkes and she wrapped her right hand over Clarke's stomach.<br/>
The blonde smiled at Murphy as the man explained that he was going to go and leave them so they could be alone. Raven looked at him for a second before turning away. She nuzzled into Clarke's chest and closed her eyes.<br/>
The mechanics breathing shallowed and slowed down as her body started to relax.<br/>
She looked up at Clarke and the blonde looked down at her with a loving look.<br/>
"Can we speak later? I just.. need to sleep" she muttered and Clarke smiled as she nodded. </p><p>"Ofcourse" the blonde replied and Raven closed her eyes once more.<br/>
Clarke held her impossibly tighter, whispering sweet nothings to Raven as she began to fall asleep.<br/>
The blonde girl stayed awake for most of the night watching over raven as she slept. She knew her girlfriend had some hidden issues but she could never pin point what it was. </p><p>Today was the first time that she realised she really didn't know hardly anything about Ravens life on the ark. She only knew that she was a student mechanic and that she lived with her parents until they died.<br/>
As the night sky began to lighten up Clarke eventually fell asleep, her arms still wrapped around Raven tightly. </p><p>------------------------------------------------------------------<br/>
17th June 2145</p><p>The next morning</p><p>The sun rose in camp just like it did any other day. There were no clouds to be seen, which allowed the sun to shine brighter than usually. </p><p>Clarke rubbed Ravens shoulder as the mechanic slowly started to wake up. The blonde leant down and kissed her cheek softly. A low husky groan came from Raven and she nuzzled further into Clarke's chest. Not wanting to move.<br/>
"How're you feeling?" Raven whispered and Clarke giggled quietly causing raven to look up at her curiously.<br/>
"I should be asking you the same thing" she whispered in return and Raven smiled a little.<br/>
She sat up next to Clarke and looked down at her bruised hands.<br/>
Her eyebrows furrowed in sadness and she looked back over at Clarke who had a medical kit ready. </p><p>"Let me do it" she whispered and raven crossed her legs, she shuffled closer to Clarke and smiled as the blonde started to gently wash off the dried blood from her knuckles.<br/>
Raven winced in slight pain as a alcohol soaked cotton ball was brushed over her cuts to sterilize them.<br/>
"Do you want to talk about it?" Clarke asked nervously and Raven stayed silent. She opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out.<br/>
She nonchalantly began to tap her fingers against her thigh. She was completely lost in thought. </p><p>She shook her head.<br/>
She wanted to tell Clarke more than anything but she couldn't find the right words. How could she explain what she had been through? She couldn't do it. Not now.<br/>
She felt a pressure start to build in her chest, eith every breath she took memories tried to come back into her mind.<br/>
She bit down on her bottom lip and jumped slightly as the door opened, snapping her out of her trance completely.<br/>
Murphy, Octavia, Echo and Emori stood there with a picnic basket.<br/>
"Come on sleepy head" Octavia laughed. </p><p>Raven chuckled weakly and she looked back at Clarke with a suspicious look on her face. Clarke shrugged her shoulders and stood up. Revealing that she was already dressed.<br/>
"You're.. sneaky.." She smiled and then got up out of bed and walked over to the sink. She splashed water on herself and then moved into the main part of the bathroom.<br/>
She brushed her teeth quickly and pulled on a black body suit, some ripped back jeans and her sneakers.<br/>
Once she had gotten herself ready she brushed through her naturally wavy hair getting rid of all the knots.<br/>
Raven made her way over to her friends and she held onto Clarke's hand as they all walked out of the room. </p><p>The mechanic gazed around as the group led her through the woods and into a small cave, just on the outskirts of the Trikru and Skaikru border.<br/>
"Lincoln is in polis he said we can use his cave" Octavia spoke as she placed the picnic basket on the floor.<br/>
Raven sat herself down on a log and she gratefully took the plate from Murphy which had fruit and bread on it. She handed a plate to Clarke who began to eat slowly.<br/>
Once everyone had finished eating they all spoke about how arkadia was doing. How their jobs were and other nonsense.<br/>
The others seemed to be chatting amongst themselves, not noticing how Raven had began to tap her foot on the floor repeatedly. She placed her left elbow on her leg and rested her head on her hand and let out a deep breath she didn't know she was holding. </p><p>Tap. Tap. Tap.<br/>
Her foot continued to tap on the floor and she ran her fingers through her hair trying her best to concentrate on whatever nonsense her friends were talking about.<br/>
Raven jumped up from the log in fear as a small crash echoed through the cave as Octavia knocked her plate over. She looked down at the floor that was now smashed on the floor.<br/>
She blinked slowly. Taking in as much air as she could.<br/>
She took a step back away from her friends and then another.<br/>
She stepped back until she was out of the cave. Her friends stared at her worriedly and she gulped.<br/>
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Why was it happening again? </p><p>Raven followed her brains orders, she quickly ran away from the cave, trying her best to run from whatever danger she thought she was in. She frantically jumped over the tree roots, she ran until she physically couldn't run anymore. Her leg throbbed in agony and she gripped onto a tree with her left hand. Her lungs heaved for breath and she inhaled repeatedly.<br/>
"Raven!" A voice screamed and she looked behind Her. Seeing a concerned looking Octavia chasing after her. </p><p>She felt like everything was closing in around Her, she stumbled back and her back hit the trunk of a tree with a thud.<br/>
A flashback flooded her mind reminding her of all the times her father had laid his fists upon her body. She screamed out and fell down to the floor.<br/>
She felt a hand on her shoulder which caused her to scream again. Tears fell down her eyes and she inhaled a breath.<br/>
She blinked through the tears, Blurry images of her father appeared infront of her and she threw her body back. Slamming it harshly against the tree trying to move away from his imaginary figure. </p><p>Her eyes shut tightly. Her chest moved up and down repetivitely and she bashed her fists down on her thighs over and over again.<br/>
"Stop it! Just stop It!" She screamed out again and wiggled around as a strong pair of arms wrapped around her body. She slapped and hit the person who held onto her yet their grip never eased.<br/>
"Dad! I'm your child! Stop it hurts!" She screamed once more before the figure dissapeared suddenly.<br/>
Raven leant back against the tree.<br/>
Just breathe. Breathe.. In and out.<br/>
She heard quiet foot steps run toward her and she flinched away. </p><p>"Stop..stop it make it Stop" she pleaded helplessly. </p><p>Gulp.<br/>
Nothing.<br/>
Inhale.</p><p>She held her breath. The person holding her let go and  a soft pair of lips crashed into her own. Her mind fuzzed and she felt the person hum against her lips. Clarke.<br/>
Raven opened her eyes quickly and fell forwards, she wrapped her arms around the blonde and clutched onto her shirt unable to let her go.<br/>
"I've got you.." Clarke whispered and Raven eased her breathing slowly.<br/>
She watched as the blonde looked up at Emori and Octavia who had chased after her aswell.<br/>
"Pick her up and let's take her back-" Clarke ordered and Emori nodded her head. Octavia helped Clarke up and Emori carefully grabbed Raven, she lifted her up and held her in her arms bridal style.<br/>
"You know next time.. can you not slap me in the face?" Emori whispered and Raven scrunched her face up, she let out a sad laugh and nodded her head. </p><p>Emori placed Raven down next to Clarke once they were back in the cave. She looked up at the blonde and sighed.<br/>
"I.. I think I want to explain" she whispered and her friends looked over at her. Clarke placed her hand on top of Ravens and nodded.<br/>
"You can say anything.. I mean nobody here will judge you rae.. you've just got to let go" Clarke smiled a little and Raven looked over at her friends.<br/>
She knew they wouldn't judge Her, they all had their issues but they were the nicest people she had ever met deep down.<br/>
Everybody there had a dark side to them but she felt so embarrased at the thought of them knowing hers. Would it even be worth telling them or would it cause more pain? </p><p>The mechanic looked down at her hands and sighed softly. She squeezed Clarke's hand gently as she started to speak.<br/>
"It uhm happened on the ark. In space I mean, my parents weren't that great. I used to think they were when I was little. I thought they were picture perfect.<br/>
My dad was my hero until Kane fired him from his job for trying to steal medication from the medical bay. The medication wasnt for him though, it was for my mother. She had kidney failure and got really sick. Nobody could help Her. Abby tried. She was abbys best friend, which is why i loved Abby like my own mother." She stopped talking for a second and looked at Clarke who gave her a reassuring smile.<br/>
"My mother passed away when I was 8, which is when my father turned into someone else. He.. he managed to get some drugs and alcohol from someone on the ark and would drink everyday, I remember coming back from school and he slammed me a..against a wall and started to beat me. Uhm, it got worse from then. He tried to kill me, on my tenth birthday I woke up to find him forcing pills down my throat. When that didn't work he beat me up harder and harder everyday. </p><p>Until he took it too far, it wasn't just physical abuse either he.. started to sexually assault me when I was 12." Raven wiped her falling tears away from her cheeks and she moved closer to Clarke, needing to feel the warmth from her body.<br/>
"Abby found out when I went to her with some broken ribs and a day later he was floated. I stayed by myself from then on until I met Finn, he took me into his family and then I started mechanic school.<br/>
I couldn't cope, id have anxiety attacks on the daily. They put me on these stupid pills that really messed with my sleep. So instead Abby helped me find other ways to cope." A small smile appeared on Ravens face and Murphy looked at her intrigued as to what she was smiling about.  </p><p>"Abby told me to find a secret talent, so everyday after mechanic school Id try and find a talent.. I found these music records in a storage closet in the classroom and leant them off by heart. One day I was singing along to this song and I didn't realise Abby had walked in on me, she told me I had found my talent.. so from then on I found my escape in music..and tried my best to focus on mechanics. When I was 14 I became one of the best mechanics on the ship as you probably know because Abby announced it over the stupid sound system.. i think the stress from work today.. And the stupid noises along with the fact I'm really tired were the reasons why I had a anxiety attack." Once Raven had finished her story she cleared her throat and looked back up at her friends.<br/>
She felt like a weight had been taken off her shoulders after all these years, she never realised how much baggage she was carrying around. </p><p>"I'm sorry that happened raven" Murphy flashed her a smile and the others agreed.<br/>
"You know.. I remember Abby announcing it over the sound system, it was just after the council searched my families room. I came out from under the floor as the speakers came on. I thought you were pretty cool Miss Reyes" Octavia admitted and Raven rolled her eyes at the last thing Octavia had said.<br/>
Raven looked over at Echo who had a mixed expression on her face.<br/>
She raised one of her eyebrows a little as Echo let out a little laugh<br/>
"I have to admit something.." The Brown haired grounder announced and everyone turned to face her. </p><p>Their mouths fell open as she spoke and they looked at eachother completely puzzled.<br/>
"My name isn't Echo.. it's Ash" she sighed in relief and gazed up at her friends who were completely in shock.<br/>
Raven tilted her head to the side as she looked over at the woman. "Ash?" She repeated and the girl nodded.<br/>
"But I swear to god Echo is staying youre not calling me ash" Echo chuckled and her friends burst into laughter at her sudden confession. </p><p>"Alright ash" Murphy laughed and groaned as Echo slapped him playfully. Causing them all to break out into laughter again.<br/>
Raven laid her legs over Clarke's thighs and she rested her head on the girls shoulder. A smile appearing on her lips as she looked over at Octavia with a deviant look in her eyes. She mouthed 'meet me tomorrow' to Octavia who simply nodded without questioning it. </p><p>The 6 of them stayed in the cave that night, all of them needed the much deserved break from camp. As the night got colder they all ended up on the floor, huddled into eachother comfortably. They were all covered in blankets and cushions to keeo them warm. Eventually they all fell asleep. Safe and secure in each others company.<br/>
That night Raven finally understood the term 'family'.  Family isnt always something you are born into. Sometimes it's something that you find for yourself, you don't need to be blood related to be a family. You just need to love eachother and be there for them no matter what. That's when she realised she had finally found her family. Her friends. They meant the entire world to Her, and she knew they were all lucky to have eachother.</p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Temptation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Raven and Clarke finally get some alone time as the group of friends take a camping trip to the lake to get away from the stress of camp jaha.<br/>They enjoy time away from everything and actually get the chance to appreciate earths true beauty.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>There is a wee bit of smut in this chapter between Clarke and Raven, I wanted to include it because it's a important step in their relationship and it shows how much they trust eachother. It's also Ravens first time so Clarke is extra caring towards her!<br/>It's also probably the first and last time I write smut so be nice please!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had been 2 days since raven's anxiety attack, the duo had spent their time enjoying each others company and they spent every moment together, apart from when they were working. It had also been a day since Clarke had her NG tube removed as Eric claimed she no longer needed it, she was still struggling but having ravens support made it alot easier.</p><p>18th June 2145</p><p>Clarke had always been a morning person. Sure,<br/>
sometimes she'd stay in bed until she had the energy to move, the only interruptions to her laziness being her stomach rumbling or needing to use the bathroom.<br/>
Usually, She was super active in the morning and tried to be as productive as possible to pass the time until Raven would wake up. Sometimes she'd get up and sketch a few images or she would go over to the infirmary room to help Eric organise the medical stock. She loved listening to the birds and other animals as they woke up from their slumber, she adored watching the sun rise but what she loved the most was holding Raven in her arms and watching her as she slept. It sounded creepy when she admitted it but Raven truly was adorable when she was asleep.</p><p>Raven always hated the morning. She hated that she had to wake up from her dreams and she always wished she didn't have to wake up at all, she'd much rather sleep away for a few more hours but unfortunately she knew she had to work.<br/>
Early mornings always made Raven sulk like a child, even though she loved her work she hated moving from her warm bed. Yet, now that she had Clarke mornings seemed to be more bearable. She usually snuggled up to Clarke every morning for an hour before she headed to work. Which definitely made her mornings more enjoyable.</p><p>Ravens eyes flickered open. Her vision was blurry as they tried to adjust to the sunlight which was pouring though the open curtains.<br/>
She sat up and yawned sleepily.<br/>
When her body had woken up a bit she trudged off into the bathroom to brush her teeth and brush her hair. Once she had finished she quickly made her way back onto the bed. She sat down on the edge and Her body jumped in fright as a soft loving arm wrapped around Her, she relaxed a moment later realising it was only Clarke. </p><p>She scooted closer to Clarke and the blonde placed her book down that she was reading. She pulled Raven onto her lap and the mechanic rested her head in the crook of Clarke's neck.<br/>
She groaned as Clarke rubbed her back gently and began to rub her shoulders getting rid of all the knots in her muscles. Raven let out a small sigh and brushed her lips over Clarke's bare shoulder, she kissed her skin softly and whimpered as the tension in her back was released. </p><p>Clarke pulled Ravens shirt up and traced little patterns along her spine causing her to shiver from the sudden change of pressure on her skin. After a few moments the movement stopped. Raven pouted and she looked up at Clarke with a frown, Clarke smirked at her and Ravens cheeks flushed in embarrassment.<br/>
"Take your shirt off" Clarke husked and Raven gulped as her breath hitched in her throat.</p><p>"I.. I've not got anything on-" she whispered and Clarke giggled. The tanned girls body filled with nerves as she looked into Clarke's eyes, she tilted her head slightly and Clarke leant forward, planting a kiss on the tip of Ravens nose.<br/>
Raven was only nervous because they hadn't ever done anything with eachother more than making out. Sure they had seen eachother top less but not fully, and it was never an intimate moment when they had.<br/>
"Rae its only me" Clarke whispered softly and Raven huffed in response, she sat up on the blondes lap, she narrowed her eyes and slowly removed her shirt revealing her bare caramel skin. </p><p>Clarkes hands moved up and she dragged her fingertips over her tattoo and then up Ravens torso and between the valley of her chest with a glimmer in her eyes Raven hadn't ever seen before. She scrunched her face up and leant forward, her wavy brown hair cascaded down over her shoulders and she looked up at Clarke, studying the girls face.<br/>
"W..what?" She whispered, her voice trembled a little and Clarke looked into her eyes lovingly noticing her nervousness. The blondes eyes widened and a small smile appeared in her lips.<br/>
"You've never? I thought you would of with Finn?" She questioned and Raven shook her head confirming what Clarke was thinking.<br/>
"I.. didn't feel that comfortable with him" she muttered and lowered her gaze from Clarke's eyes to her pink lips then back up to her eyes. </p><p>Raven wrapped her arms around Clarkes shoulders, she shuffled a bit closer and Clarke's grip tightened pushing the tanned girl against her body more.<br/>
Clarke leant forward and Raven did the same She heard a low groan come from Clarke and she shuffled in the girls lap. "Do you feel comfortable with me?" Clarke asked and Raven nodded.<br/>
She inhaled a breath and wrapped her legs around Clarkes back as the blonde connected their lips together.</p><p>She whimpered as she kissed Clarke back with the same amount of passion and love.<br/>
Her body trembled a little as a low groan came from the blondes lips, Clarke bit down on Ravens bottom lip and pulled back slightly which caused the mechanic to moan a little.<br/>
Her stomach tensed and Clarke ran her tongue over her bottom lip, she opened her mouth in response and met Clarke's tongue with her own.<br/>
The kiss was filled with desire and hunger for one another yet it was still loving and gentle at the same time. She felt Clarke's hands grip onto her hips and she grunted as her body jerked forward causing her hips to roll involuntarily. </p><p>Raven reluctantly pulled back for air. She panted a little and Clarke brushed the stray hair out of her girls face and ducked into her neck, She tilted her head to the side as Clarke began to kiss down her neck. She bit down on her bottom lip and dug her nails into Clarke's back as the blonde sucked on her skin, marking her beautifully along her neck and along her collarbone. She hissed and tightened her legs around the Girl, pushing their bodies together even more, if that was even possible. </p><p>Clarke growled as Ravens phone went off, the ringtone interrupting their moment. Raven reached out for her phone and grabbed it with a frown, she clicked answer and looked down at Clarke who was still kissing along her neck.<br/>
"O-octavia.." The Mechanic stuttered and sucked in a harsh breath trying her best to be silent as the blonde nibbled on her skin again.<br/>
"Uh.. hmfph.. n-no we'll come camping.." She dug her nails into Clarke again and Clarke laughed deviantely as Raven tried to play off her moan down the phone.<br/>
"See you soon.. bye!". Raven hung up the phone and slammed it down, she glared at Clarke who looked up at her innocently. </p><p>Raven rolled her hips once more and she turned around, slightly embarrased. She pushed her ass into Clarke's lap which caused the blonde to groan, Raven looked back at her with a cocky grin as she stood up.<br/>
She sauntered off towards her drawers and pulled out a white lace bralette along with some high waisted black ripped jeans and some underwear. <br/>
Once she had picked out her clothes she walked off into the bathroom and shut the door as she started to change. When she had finished she applied some dark red lipstick which she had made with some berries.<br/>
She gazed into the mirror and traced her fingers along the dark purple love bites Clarke had created.</p><p>She looked away and pulled on her black sneakers.<br/>
"Ready?" She hummed as she walked out the bathroom.<br/>
Clarke stopped in her tracks and looked up at her with a possessive look, she narrowed her eyes and bit down on her bottom lip. Clarke knew this was pay back from making her flustered on a phone call but god this woman was about to kill her. </p><p>Clarke pulled on her shoes and she shoved the spare clothes she had gotten out for the pair of them into a bag, she also grabbed the tent and rolled her eyes playfully as Raven walked out of the door. Clarke followed behind her and she smiled as Raven took a hold of her hand.<br/>
Octavia, Echo, Emori and Murphy walked over to them with their eyebrows raised.<br/>
Raven blushed and Octavia stared at the pair of them in shock as it dawned on her what she had interrupted on the phone only 30 minutes ago.<br/>
"Oh.. my.. god i totally interrupted you earlier!" She squealed and Raven glared at her.<br/>
Murphy held his hand up in the air and Clarke high fived him earning a light slap on the arm from Raven. </p><p>She looked at the mechanic in amusement and Raven stuck her tongue out immaturely causing the group to laugh.<br/>
"So where are we going?" Clarke asked and Echo pulled out a map that had a circle around a grassy area on the other side of the lake.<br/>
Raven glanced at the map and she looked up at Clarke with a smile, the blonde smiled back and the group began to walk their usual way through the forest. </p><p>Raven jumped up over a small fallen tree trunk and pulled Clarke up gently. Green moss covered most of the trees and red spotted fungi was scattered around in random spots throughout the forest. As they moved further into the woods the sound of water birds became louder, indicating that they were near the lake.<br/>
Raven hopped up on a rock and looked out, she could see the lake through a few trees. The water glistened beautifully. It looked so much like the ocean.<br/>
The forest was always so beautiful in the early morning, full of wildlife and the bright sun lighting patches on the ground, most of the rays covered by the green leaves of the giant trees up above.<br/>
They carried on walking for a while, the group did however stop a few times to give Raven a break due to her leg. </p><p>Once they arrived at camp Clarke placed her bag down and she pulled the tent out of the bag and sighed.<br/>
Octavia and Echo paired up and began to put up their tent, Emori and Murphy started to put theirs up too.<br/>
“Why did I agree to this again?” Raven mumbled as she began to put the tent up with Clarke,<br/>
“Because it's fun and you love me” Clarke replied as she hooked the tent into the ground with the pegs.<br/>
Raven looked over at Clarke as she tensed her muscles trying to hook the last leg into the ground, the blondes face was stern, almost angry looking as she struggled to do it. Finally she managed to hook it into the ground and Raven looked away instantly not wanting Clarke to know she was staring. </p><p>The tent itself was surprisingly big, at least big enough to fit extra people into it. Raven walked into the tent and she neatly placed all of hers and Clarke's belongings to the left side, she then laid out the sleeping bags and pillows and placed them in the middle of the tent.<br/>
“Are you done? We're lighting the fire!" Murphy called from outside as he lit the bonfire so he could cook them some food.<br/>
“Yeah! Coming!” Raven exclaimed, letting out a huge sigh of relief. She never realised how hard it was to put up a tent.<br/>
She walked out of the tent and made her way over to Clarke who was sat down near the burning fire.<br/>
“We have 6 hours or so before the sunsets so we can go to the lake for a bit if you're all down?" Emori raised her brow as she spoke and everyone nodded. All of them agreeing to the plan </p><p>Raven looked back at her as she felt Clarke staring at her, she fluttered her eyelashes and shuddered as the blonde trailed her fingers along the love bites on Ravens skin.<br/>
"Mhm" she muttered and Raven shuffled closer to her, She rested her head on Clarke's shoulder comfortably as they waited for the food to cook. </p><p>After what felt like hours to Raven the food was finally cooked. Murphy handed out burgers to everyone and Raven smiled at him silently thanking him for the food.<br/>
Once everyone had finished eating they all stacked up their plates near the fire so they could clean them later on. The sun was now at the highest point in the sky, so they all went in their tents to change.<br/>
Raven gazed back at Clarke as the blonde started to change into her blue bikini, Her brain had gone embarrassingly blank and her mouth suddenly went really dry. She quickly turned to hide the blush that has made an appearance on her cheeks once again. She knew the mornings activities had clearly messed with her brain because she wasn't usually this flustered. </p><p>Raven pulled on her white bikini. The color is a perfect compliment to her skin tone, the top was held up by two little straps that tied behind her neck along with another strap that tied behind her back. The bikini pants were basically like a thong, except the straps sat higher on her hips complimenting her slender waist perfectly.<br/>
"Ready?" Clarke asked as she walked towards Raven, she nodded and smiled at her as they walked out of the tent together. </p><p>The two girls walked down to the lake and Raven smiled at Murphy and Emori who were settled comfortably on their towels at the side of the water. Echo and Octavia seemed to be relaxing on the rocks soaking in the sun.<br/>
Raven let go of Clarke's hand and climbed into the water, she flipped her hair back and plunged her body underneath the water, only to emerge moments later. Small beads of water rolled down her skin and she looked up at Clarke who was staring at her with her mouth open. </p><p>Raven giggled and Clarke stepped closer to her once she was close enough she held her hands out waiting for Raven to grab onto them. Raven gripped onto Clarke's hand and squealed as she was pulled closer to the blonde.<br/>
“You're absolutely... gorgeous" Clarke whispered with a smile.<br/>
Raven laughed a little, she wrapped her arms around Clarkes shoulders and screamed as Octavia and Echo splashed them both with water as they jumped into the water perposfully ruining the moment.<br/>
She unwrapped her arms and turned around with her back now against Clarke's front, she splashed Octavia with water and ducked out of the way as another wave hurled towards her, instead the water went all over Clarke and she giggled. </p><p>The group spent a few hours in the lake, all of them ended up playfighting and trying to trying to dunk eachother under.<br/>
As the day started to get colder they all decided it was best to go back to the camp.<br/>
Murphy and Emori ran out of the water and raced back to the camp leaving The rest of them behind.</p><p>Raven slowly climbed out of the lake, water dripping off her skin. Her wet hair clung to her neck and she brushed it over her shoulders letting it flow on her back.<br/>
She leant down and grabbed her towels off the floor and then looked back at clarke who was staring at her.<br/>
"Are you going to look at me all night or are you going to help?" She spoke with sass in her tone and Clarke looked at her instantly with a grin on her face.<br/>
Clarke walked forward and grabbed the bag from the floor, she looked into Ravens eyes for a moment and bit on her lower lip.<br/>
"I'll look at you for aslong as I want" she whispered and Raven rolled her eyes in fake annoyance.<br/>
Octavia and Echo grabbed their things and the four of them walked back to the camp.</p><p>"Night Octavia" Raven wrapped her arms around the girl and she looked over at Clarke who was glaring at her jealousy clear in her eyes.<br/>
She let go of Octavia after a few seconds and waved the two girls off as they walked into their tent for the night.</p><p>As Octavia and Echo vanished from site Raven let out a small squeal as Clarke gripped onto her hand, pulled her into the tent and zipped up the doorway with a frown on her face which Raven noticed instantly.<br/>
"Is everything okay?" She asked curiously as she pulled her hand away to look Clarke in her eyes. "Did I do something wrong?" She mumbled as she took a step closer to the blonde and placed a hand on her shoulder.<br/>
"No, darling" Clarke said quickly, making sure not to hurt Ravens feelings. Truth is Clarke was frustrated, ever since this morning. She hated the fact they were interrupted but she loved the fact she got to go camping with all her friends, she just wished they never got interrupted.<br/>
"Then.. what's wrong?" Raven pouted and Clarke looked up at her lovingly.</p><p>With that said, Ravens gulped as clarke cupped her face, she was pulled into a passionate kiss. She felt Clarke's tongue swipe against her bottom lip, asking for permission.<br/>
Raven parted her lips and groaned as their tongues began to fight for dominance.<br/>
Clarke only broke their heated kiss so that she could pick Raven up, to ravens surprise the girl did it with ease. She was placed on the make shift camp bed and Clarke sat down next to her. Raven was pulled over and she placed herself ontop of Clarke's thighs, mimicking their position from earlier in the day.<br/>
Clarke placed her hand on the back of Ravens neck and pulled her forward, connecting their lips once more, she bit down on Ravens bottom lip once more and ravens mouth fell open effortlessly.<br/>
Clarke took advantage of the opportunity and slid her tongue back into Ravens mouth, the mechanics arms fell around Clarkes shoulders comfortably and she whimpered as the blonde lifted her thigh up a little, pressing it between ravens legs. </p><p>The sudden contact made the mechanics breath get caught in her throat. Clarke pulled away from the kiss and she looked up into Ravens eyes trying to find any sign of hesitation but she was met with none. Instead Ravens eyes were full of desire, making her eyes look darker than usual.<br/>
"Are you sure?" Clarke whispered giving her time to back out.<br/>
Raven immediately got flustered. Her face flushed as she looked down and nodded.<br/>
"Please.." She whispered back and Clarke reached behind Ravens back, she swiftly untied her bikini top and threw the piece of clothing on the floor.<br/>
Raven inhaled a small breath and huffed impatiently.<br/>
She sat up for a second and pulled her bikini bottoms off and smirked as Clarke did the same.<br/>
Leaving them both equally exposed and vulnerable with eachother.</p><p>The blonde lightly kissed along Ravens jaw before hungrily sucking on her pulse point.<br/>
Raven moaned softly and Clarke pushed her thigh between ravens harder and the mechanic rolled her hips causing her body to tremble at the new sensation she was feeling.<br/>
The blonde knew raven was getting impatient, She found it absolutely sexy.<br/>
"Clarke.. please" she whimpered and rolled her hips again, she dipped her head into the crook of Clarke's neck and licked over the sensitive part of the girls neck before sucking on it lightly.<br/>
Clarke inhaled a breath and groaned.<br/>
"Goddamn it touch me" Raven hissed and Clarke smirked as she felt goosebumps rising on Ravens stomach and her side as she started to stroke along her bare skin. She heard Ravens breath hitch and she moved her hand up higher and then stopped earning a whine from raven.<br/>
She froze her hand, but then Ravens hand moved ontop of Clarke's guiding her up even higher until her hand was cupping her right breast. </p><p>Ravens body jolted forward again as Clarke began to knead her breast tenderly and she moaned a little louder, Clarke used her other hand to push Ravens hips down making her grind down on her thigh.<br/>
Clarke moved her hand up and cupped Ravens cheek forcing the mechanic to look directly into her eyes.<br/>
Clarke smirked as ravens arms tightened around her shoulders, a small pant came from Raven as she began to breathe heavily.<br/>
"clarke please" raven muttered and leant forward nervously capturing Clarke's lips with her own, she ground her hips and scratched Clarke's back trying her best to not moan too loud. </p><p>Clarke didn't need to hear anymore. There was no way she could resist ravens begging for much longer, she finally gave in to temptation. She kissed her back with pure desire, she lowered her hands and  disconnected the kiss.<br/>
Raven moved her hands to Clarke's front and palmed her hands over Clarke's breasts, the blonde hummed in satisfaction and then moved ravens hands away. She flipped them over so she was ontop and pinned them against the camp bed harshly causing the mechanic to whimper and groan as Clarke lodged her thigh back between ravens legs and rubbed her thigh against the tanned girls core, raven moaned and Clarke sat down on Ravens thigh began to grind against it softly.<br/>
"Do you want me to let go?" Clarke mumbled referring to ravens hands, raven blushed a deep shade of red and shook her head.<br/>
"No.. just keep.. hmfph!" She rolled her hips again and again creating friction </p><p>Ravens breathing became more and more ragged and her body began to tremble a little, Clarke gasped in pleasure and the pair moved their bodies against one another's trying as much friction as they possibly could. Their necks were covered in love bites and Clarke was pretty sure Raven had scratched every inch of her back but neither girl was in the position to care about any of that.<br/>
Clarke bought her mouth back down to ravens collarbone and started to suck and nibble on it. A breathy moan came from Raven as she rocked herself against Clarke's thigh harder, Clarke mimicked her actions and bit down on her bottom lip as Raven began to speak in overwhelmed mumbles<br/>
“I.. Clarke i think ” she knew raven was close to a release so she moved faster against ravens thigh and pushed her thigh up more, rubbing her leg between ravens. </p><p>"I got you babygirl". Clarke mumbled as she quickly captured Ravens lips with her own. Her words seemed to nudge her over the edge, and all of a sudden Raven let out a low raspy moan and was shuddering against her.<br/>
That alone pushed Clarke over the edge and she came to a release soon after the mechanic, her body shook and she felt raven cling onto her tightly.<br/>
As their breathing started to calm down and their muscles relaxed raven looked up at Clarke with a look of happiness mixed into embarrassment.<br/>
Clarke looked back into Ravens eyes and she unhooked their legs, only to lift raven back onto her lap. She wasn't about to let raven be embarrased and shy about something so natural. Clarke planted a tender kiss on her cheek and Raven nuzzled into her neck with a smile on her face.<br/>
"Are you okay?" Clarke questioned and Raven nodded her head. She knew she had to get herself cleaned up but she was far too tired. She was also pretty certain she wouldn't be able to stand up as her legs felt like jelly.</p><p>Raven tucked Her head under Clarke's chin. A wave of affection and love washed over her. With Finn she would usually shrink away from any sort of contact, especially intimate contact. But, with Clarke it was different, she was caring and loving. She took her time and made sure she was comfortable.<br/>
Clarke suddenly moved and grabbed two shirts from the backpack along with a bottle of water.<br/>
"What're you doing?" Raven asked and Clarke pulled her up a little.<br/>
"Taking care of you honey" Clarke smiled and carefully pulled the shirt over ravens arms and over her head.<br/>
She pulled the other shirt onto herself and then grabbed a tub of soothing cream. </p><p>"Wrists please" Clarke commanded softly and Raven placed her hands on Clarke's thighs, she raised her eyebrows and smiled a little as the blonde gently rubbed the cream over her slightly bruised wrists, the blonde bought ravens wrists up and kissed each one gently before letting them drop.<br/>
Clarke then pulled on a fresh pair of underwear onto herself then handed raven a clean pair of underwear and the mechanic shuffled into them with a yawn.<br/>
"Are you sure you're okay?" Clarke whispered and Raven laid back down, she smiled brightly and Clarke laid down next to Her, she pulled the mechanic closer and kissed her forehead gently as she laid her head on Clarke's chest as usual.<br/>
"Ofcourse.. it was perfect Clarke.. I'm glad it was with you" Raven yawned once more and Clarke covered them up with the sleeping bags.<br/>
"You're perfect and im glad it was me too" Clarke whispered back sleepily, she kissed the side of Ravens mouth and Raven shut her eyes, already starting to drift off to sleep. </p><p>Soon enough Raven fell asleep, her body was completely exhausted from what her body had just experienced.<br/>
Clarke watched as she fell asleep snuggled up against her adorably, her hand was gripping onto Clarke's shirt and her left leg was hanging over Clarke's body. Eventually she fell asleep herself, cuddled up to the woman of her dreams.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Continuation??</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Should I continue this story? </p><p>It doesn't seem to be getting alot of love recently and I don't know if people enjoy it..</p><p>Let me know if you want me to carry on</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Leave a comment if you do want to see more!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>If y'all do want to see more of this story please leave a comment on this chapter and maybe also tell me what you want to see more of/ what friendships or ships you want to see happen in this story.. if you've got a cool storyline you'd like me to include comment that too!</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Lost without you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>"Huh?" Raven turned to her again and Clarke pushed ravens hair over her shoulders.<br/>"I said.. will you be my girlfriend?" Clarke looked down at her hands for a split second, only for Raven to lift her face up so they were eye to eye. </p><p>Clarke and Raven are utterly in love with eachother, both of them supporting eachother through everything, but what happens when the impossible happens and they are taken away from one another.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter is happy and sad at the same time!</p><p>I was so nervous about writing a sexual scene in my fanfiction but in this relationship it was needed, it was a symbol of how much they trust eachother and how tender and loving they are regardless of all they have been through. But it seemed to be alright so in the future I might write another one, but just like the other it won't be explicit. </p><p>Anyway if you like this chapter please comment and vote!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>19th June 2145</p><p>Clarke woke up before raven. Despite their deeds last night, Clarke was full of energy.<br/>
She sat up and gazed over at Raven, the girl was fast asleep. Her pink lips were pursed and her brown hair was neatly tucked behind her back. She looked stunning.<br/>
She brushed her fingers through raven's hair gently and let out a small yawn, a smile appearing on her face as she recalled their actions from the night. Raven looked different, she looked somewhat smaller, more vulnerable yet fiercer than before. </p><p>The golden sunlight shone into the tent through the thin fabric, causing ravens skin to glow beautifully. Clarke felt breathless, she couldn't take her eyes off of raven. It was like she was intoxicated.<br/>
Raven began to stir as Clarke fiddled with her hair, she stretched out and Clarke drew her hand away, only to wrap it around the mechanics back as her eyes fluttered open deliriously and she looked up at Clarke with a small shy smile.<br/>
Clarke smiled down at her and Raven huffed before cuddling into Clarke a bit more, obviously not wanting to move from the warmth of the blonde.<br/>
"Ready to get up?" Clarke questioned and Raven wiggled around and dissapeared in the sleeping bag. Small groans coming from her mouth in wordless protests at the idea of getting up.</p><p>Clarke chuckled to herself, she ran her fingers along the back of Ravens arms and shook her head in amusement.<br/>
"I'm hungry" the mechanic exclaimed as she finally sat up from under the covers with her arms promptly folded infront of her chest, a child like pout on her lips.<br/>
Clarke couldn't help but smile at the site infront of Her,<br/>
Raven smiled back at the blonde, her dimples protruding from her cheeks, Clarke pulled the sleeping bag off of the two of them and smirked mischeviously.<br/>
"Come on then" Clarke spoke.<br/>
The blonde climbed up off of the sleeping bag, she pulled on a pair of dark blue shorts and threw a black denim short skirt at raven who pulled it on sleepily.<br/>
Raven pulled her night shirt off and placed her white bralette back on from the previous day.</p><p>When Clarke had finished pulling her black shirt on she stood up from the bed and looked over at raven who was pulling her leg brace on.<br/>
Raven stood up carefully and groaned as her leg felt weaker than normal.<br/>
“is your leg okay?” Clarke questioned as she made her way over to raven with a look on her face the mechanic couldn't quite recognise. </p><p>“it's weaker than normal.. and I'm sore.” Raven grumbled and glared at Clarke as she laughed a little.<br/>
She folded her arms once more and Clarke laughed a bit more teasingly.<br/>
"What?" Raven asked and Clarke intertwined their hands together.<br/>
"Its because of lastnight" Clarke whispered and raven gulped. She playfully slapped Clarke on her arm and giggled softly, they walked out of the tent and a blush appeared on Ravens cheeks as Murphy, Emori, Echo and Octavia turned to face them with a knowing look on their faces. </p><p>The scent of bacon and eggs lingered in the air and Raven nervously walked over to the group. She felt Clarke squeeze her hand and she sat down on a log beside Octavia.<br/>
Clarke own cheeks began to flush with colour, her arms wrapped around Raven as the girl nuzzled into her side asif she was trying to hide away from the group.<br/>
"What did you two get up to last night?" Murphy raised his brow with a smirk, his eyes glued on Raven who's neck and collarbones were pretty much covered in love bites, he took a sip of water and sat down.<br/>
Raven felt her throat close and she choked on her breath, her eyes darted up to Clarke and then over at all her friends.<br/>
"I..we..nothing, leave me alone" raven whispered and Clarke glared at Murphy who started to laugh.<br/>
Clarke pulled Raven closer and she shook her head, trying her hardest not to laugh at her nosy friends who definitely heard them last night. </p><p>As Octavia finished up on the breakfast she handed a bacon and egg sandwich over to Clarke, the blonde thanked her and then she handed one over to raven.<br/>
Octavias eyes widened as she noticed the slight bruising over ravens wrists. She cleared her throat and Raven swatted her hands away.<br/>
"Freakyyy" Octavia whispered under her breath, she wiggled her eyebrows and Raven shoved her away jokingly.</p><p>Murphy rolled his eyes and handed Raven a cup of freshly made coffee. "You'll be needing that". He said, with the same teasing smile lingering on his face from before.<br/>
Ravens eyes sparked as she gratefully took the mug of coffee from her friend, she took a large sip and then ate the last bite of her sandwich hungrily.<br/>
Her stomach grumbled happily and she turned to Clarke who had also finished all her food.<br/>
She leant up and planted a proud kiss on her cheek and Clarke smiled.<br/>
Raven stood up from the log, a slight shooting pain erupted through her leg and she clutched onto the plates tightly,<br/>
“You alright, man?” Murphy asked, turning his head to the side, brows raised. He grabbed the plates from her grip and placed them on the floor.<br/>
Raven nodded, slowly. “Yeah the brace isnt helping much” she turned around and glared at Clarke who looked at her in fake innocence. </p><p>Murphy laughed a little, “Do you think you can make the Hike?"<br/>
She nodded and limped back over to the log, swatting the top of Clarke's head with her hand lightly.<br/>
“We can take breaks, plus I kind of want to see the view from the top of the mountain"<br/>
Clarke spoke and stood up, she grabbed their water containers and filled them up with some rain water they had collected in the night.<br/>
Octavia placed hers and Echos plates on the pile and then gratefully took two of the water containers from Clarke once she had filled them up, she then placed them in her bag. </p><p>"This better be worth it... and Clarke its a hill" Emori whispered beneath her breath, she wasn't really in the mood to walk up a hill in the scorching heat but she did however want to see the view from the top<br/>
"And what are you going to do if it's not worth it? Throw us all off The mountain?" Murphy teased sarcastically, he fake gasped as her hand connected with his arm and let out a little laugh.<br/>
The group decided to head up the South of the mountain rather than the east as it was a more stable ground which would make it easier for Raven to walk up.</p><p>The mechanic groaned as they reached the bottom of the mountain and began to walk up the dirt path with her hand still firmly placed in Clarke's.<br/>
"You picked the worst day to pick my clothes" raven whispered and Clarke giggled.<br/>
She knew wearing a skirt while climbing up a mountain was probably not the smartest idea but it wasn't her fault.<br/>
"You love me though don't You?" Clarke's lip quirked up into a smirk.<br/>
Raven nodded her head instantly and jumped up over a small rock.<br/>
"More than Anything" she replied.<br/>
The sunlight was full on the path, the only shade being the occasional tree on the side of the path. Not that Raven minded, the sun was pleasant on her skin. It wasn't too hot or too cold either. </p><p>As they reached the half way point on the mountain Clarke sat down on the bench along with Murphy and Emori, Octavia opted to stand making the excuse that if she sat there was no way she would get back up.<br/>
"Raven come here!" Echo yelled as she crouched down in the long grass, raven wandered over to her curious as to what she had found.<br/>
Raven placed her left hand ontop of Echos shoulder and crouched down beside her. She tilted her head to the side and gasped at the object that was hidden among the grass and flowers.<br/>
"What is it?" Echo asked and Raven smiled widely, she scooped the object up and brushed the dirt off of it with a grin on her face.<br/>
"Its a camera.. they used to have them before earth was destroyed" she lightly blew on the camera and stood up.<br/>
Raven carefully made her way back to Clarke, she handed the object to Clarke and kissed her cheek, Clarke looked at the object confused and then she looked up at raven.<br/>
"You take photos with it..  uhm of beautiful things" she winked playfully and the blonde gazed around.</p><p>Clarke looked around at all the different color greens on the trees, all of the flowers, all of the animals. Everything seemed to blend together like a painting. It was true paradise. She looked down at the camera and looked back at raven who was now giggling at something Murphy had said. "All the beautiful things" she whispered to herself, her mind instantly thinking of raven.<br/>
Raven burried her face into her hands and mumbled a silent 'fuck you' to Emori who began to tease her over the bruises that covered her upper body.<br/>
"Leave her alone" Clarke chuckled and wrapped her arms around the girl who was sat infront of her, raven tilted her head back and Clarke quickly stole a sweet kiss from her lips. </p><p>Raven leant back against Clarke's front and looked over at Octavia who started to speak to her<br/>
"Raven You still haven't sang us a song" she looked over at her and shook her head.<br/>
For raven, singing was never something she did to pass the time. It wasn't just notes and melodies either. It wasn't only a hobby or a dream. For raven it was everything, but it was also secretive. She had never sang infront of anyone before. Well except from Abby but that was accidental.<br/>
"Come on.. just one song" Echo begged her shamelessly and Raven sat up straight<br/>
"Ok fine but I don't have any music," she sighed defeated, taking clarkes hand she linked their fingers together and leant back so her back was still against Clarke's front. </p><p>Murphy pulled out his phone, which was a totally new concept to them however they had managed to find a old phone from years ago which allowed the mechanics and electricians to build a few.<br/>
He clicked on a button and handed it to raven, she looked down at the piece of technology and pressed play on a few melodies before selecting one she liked the best.<br/>
"Ugh I've not done this for years.. I might be rusty" Raven cleared her throat and relaxed against Clarke as she rubbed her hand along Ravens thigh.</p><p>Raven began to hum along to the melody playing through the phone quietly trying to calm her nerves, she placed her hands in her lap and stretched out her legs on the bench they were say on.<br/>
Her friends were now sat beside her on the other benches, their faces full of anticipation.<br/>
Once she had become comfortable with the melody she lightly tapped her feet on the bench to the beat of the tune and began to sing. </p><p>"I'm so tired of not feeling anything<br/>
So tired of feeling so empty<br/>
Where did everything go as wrong<br/>
As wrong as I've always been treated before?<br/>
When all I ever really wanted<br/>
Was to love and be loved in return<br/>
But I"</p><p>Raven inhaled a small breath,<br/>
She felt like she was floating into oblivion, her body was full of nerves but she was overwhelmed with happiness. She always felt so free when she sang.<br/>
Her fingers unravelled and she began to tap on the bench mindlessly, she knew all her friends were staring at her so she looked away and carried on</p><p>"I've lost my key and now I can't let anyone in<br/>
And I'm trying so hard to find it<br/>
But every key that I find, it don't fit<br/>
And this house is so full and messy<br/>
This house I call my head<br/>
And I'm trying so hard to find it<br/>
But letting you in is the hardest part"</p><p>Clarke carried on stroking her thigh softly and she looked over at Octavia as she listened to raven sing. Ravens heart pounded in her chest and she smiled nervously.<br/>
"You say, babe, I want you so<br/>
I say I'm so sorry, so sorry, but I gotta let you go<br/>
God I hate to say this to you but I think, I think<br/>
It's best we stay apart<br/>
So run, run, run while you can<br/>
'Cause I hurt everything that crosses my path<br/>
It's just who I am" </p><p>Raven gazed over at Octavia who had tears in her eyes, seeing her friend tear up only made tears appear in her own eyes.<br/>
Along with a few happy memories of her parents before it all went wrong.<br/>
She repeated the chorus and looked back at clarke who was smiling at her proudly.<br/>
"I've lost my key and now I can't let anyone in<br/>
And I'm trying hard to find it<br/>
But every key that I find, it don't fit<br/>
And this house is so full and messy<br/>
This house I call my head<br/>
And I'm trying so hard to find it<br/>
But letting you in is the hardest part<br/>
Letting you in is the hardest part<br/>
Letting you in is the hardest part<br/>
The hardest part"</p><p>The melody of the song slowed down a little and Murphy wrapped his arms around Emori who now had her head on his shoulder.<br/>
"Oh I know deep down I want you so<br/>
'Cause I dream of us on the beach, sand in our toes<br/>
Dancing around the early hours of the morning, hand in hand<br/>
Softly, slowly falling in love with you" </p><p>As the melody slowed even more she looked back at clarke and a happy tear rolled down her cheek.<br/>
Clarke wiped away the tear on Ravens cheek and gave her a reassuring nod.<br/>
Raven quickly kissed Clarke's cheek and sang the last verse.<br/>
"I've lost my key and now I can't let anyone in<br/>
And I'm trying so hard to find it<br/>
But every key that I find, it don't fit<br/>
And this house is so full and messy<br/>
This house I call my head<br/>
And I'm trying so hard to find it<br/>
But letting you in is the hardest part" </p><p>The melody stopped completely and Raven cleared her throat, she handed Murphy his mobile phone back and the man smiled at her proudly.<br/>
"Raven you've got such a lovely voice" Octavia commented followed by the rest of her friends agreeing and commenting on how beautiful the song was.<br/>
"Baby it was gorgeous.. You needn't be embarrased you've got an angelic voice.." Clarke whispered and Raven wrapped her arms around Clarkes shoulders, pulling her into a tight hug followed by a chaste kiss.</p><p>Raven studied Clarke's face.<br/>
Her lips curved up in a large smile as she placed her hands on clarkes cheeks.<br/>
"I'm glad I've got you.." She whispered and laughed as Clarke spun her around.<br/>
Emori cleared her throat and Murphy raised his eyebrows at the two loved up girls.<br/>
Raven averted his gaze away from Clarke hesitantly and looked over at Murphy and rolled her eyes as they all started to walk up to the top of the mountain.<br/>
 <br/>
The view from the top of the mountain was breathtaking. The surrounding areas below the mountain were full of trees of all shapes and sizes, small ponds and a large waterfall came into view on the east.<br/>
Raven could feel her anxiety lifting, asif the view was enough to clear her mind from all the trauma she had been through, she felt like her heart was full and all the heartbreak she had been through had been cured. Perhaps, it was.. or maybe it was the fact that standing next to her was the love of her life, the girl who saved her life when she didn't realise she needed to be saved. </p><p>The group stayed quiet, in utter awe of their current surroundings.<br/>
Nevertheless, Raven appreciated the silence. It let her focus on the sounds of the wind as it lapped around her body.<br/>
It gave her the ability to fathom how much she really loved Clarke. </p><p>It amazed Raven, how automatically her train of thought always returned to Clarke. The beauty of her surroundings was nowhere near as beautiful as Clarke.<br/>
She sighed And squeezed Clarke's hand gently.<br/>
"Its gorgeous right?" Raven mumbled and Clarke looked at her goofily before answering.<br/>
"Yeah" she muttered back, raven seemed to lose herself in her thoughts once more.<br/>
She glanced back at the view and then back at Clarke as she saw the blondes lips move, indicating that she was talking.<br/>
"Huh?" Raven turned to her again and Clarke pushed ravens hair over her shoulders.<br/>
"I said.. will you be my girlfriend?" Clarke looked down at her hands for a split second, only for Raven to lift her face up so they were eye to eye. </p><p>Raven smiled widely and wrapped her arms around Clarkes shoulders "Yes! I mean.. yeah yes I would".<br/>
She felt Clarke's left hand move onto her left cheek and she leant her head on her hand. Raven leant forward and captured Clarke's lips with her own, her breath hitched and Clarke laughed into the kiss clearly loving the effect she had on the mechanic.<br/>
Raven pulled away reluctantly and nuzzled into Clarke's neck as her friends began to cheer.<br/>
"Finally!" Octavia screamed and ran towards them, she wrapped them both in a hug and soon enough everyone joined in, turning raven and Clarke's intimate moment into a group hug. Not that they really cared. </p><p>"So just checking.. Ravens the bottom right?" Echo whispered, her words caused raven to cough and the group began to laugh loudly at what had just been said.<br/>
Clarke looked down at raven who was attempting to hide her face in Clarke's chest, she nodded at the accusation which only made raven more embarrassed.<br/>
"No I'm not" she whined and they all began to laugh again at the fact the fierce mechanic was actually whining.<br/>
"Leave her alone now.." Clarke warned jokingly and giggled as Echo mumbled an apology to raven who was sulking like a child. </p><p>Once they all dispersed from the hug Clarke pulled Raven back into her arms, she kissed raven on the top of her head and hummed in happiness.<br/>
"I'd be lost without you" Raven mumbled almost silently, her words being only audible to Clarke's ears.<br/>
Clarke pressed a kiss on Ravens cheek as the tanned girl let out a groan as Murphy interrupted their moment to inform them that it was now time to head down the mountain.<br/>
"I love you" Raven whispered as they started to walk down the mountain back to camp.<br/>
"I love you too honey" Clarke whispered back, in total awe of the soft side raven had been hiding. </p><p>The group spent the next few hours making their way back down the steep mountain, all of them were holding conversations of their own apart from Echo and Octavia who were racing down the mountain, even though raven had insisted it wasn't a smart idea.<br/>
Finally they arrived back at their camping spot just as it started to rain a little.<br/>
They all packed up their tents and slung their rucksacks over their shoulders.<br/>
"All ready to go back?" Murphy asked with a smile as He pulled his rucksack over his shoulders with a grunt<br/>
 <br/>
"Unfortunately" Clarke mumbled as she helped raven place the rucksack onto her back. Raven stretched her leg out trying to relieve the stiffness.<br/>
"It won't take long plus there are shelters along the way if you get too tired reyes"<br/>
Emori rolling her eyes playfully as she chuckled<br/>
Raven looked up at the sky, a sigh escaping her lips as the clouds seemed to darken from a light shade of grey to a darker shade.<br/>
"Emori careful I might have a bad leg but id beat your ass any day" Raven chuckled with a grin on her face. "Now come on the rain is getting worse" she nudged Emori forwards causing her to stumble on a tree root, the girl shoved raven back jokingly and they began to walk back through the forest to get back to camp. </p><p>Murphy groaned as they reached the halfway point in the forest, grumbling angrily to himself about how tired he was. He stepped over the fallen log that they had passed on the way and scrunched his face up, He had a uneasy feeling yet he couldn't quite pin point what was causing it.<br/>
He felt a tug on his hand from Emori as she looked up at him with the same look on her face that he had on his. Clearly she felt the same, which was worrying him even more as Emori had grown up in the forest with the grounders so she was familiar with the surrounding areas.<br/>
"Something's not right" Murphy whispered and Emori nodded her head, she looked around the foliage nervously. </p><p>Emori quickly grabbed Murphy by his collar and shoved him down on the ground, falling ontop of him with a grunt<br/>
"Ow fuck! What're you doing emori-?" Murphy hissed with slight pain, Emori cut him off as she placed a hand over his mouth.<br/>
The group stared at her in confusion and Octavia opened her mouth to speak earning a glare from Emori.<br/>
"Quiet, everyone get down!" Emori hissed, cocking her head to the side trying to listen to whatever she had previously heard.<br/>
Echo shoved Octavia down on the group and raven pinned clarke against a tree sheltering her from whatever it was.<br/>
Seconds later the whistle of an arrow flew past the place were Murphy was standing moments before.<br/>
Clarke jumped as a second arrow shot past the group? she tightened her grip on Raven who was still holding her against the tree. Her eyes darted over at Octavia  and the rest of her friends who were now ducked down in the overgrowth.<br/>
"What's going on?" Clarke whispered, her voice laced in terror. </p><p>Ravens eyes flickered back at clarke for a moment, she then looked over at Echo who peered out from behind a bush.<br/>
"Azgedakru.. they'll attack and kill whoever they want, they have some issues with Trikru and they hate skaikru and if they see us we're dead" Echo stated quietly trying not to make so much noise.<br/>
"What do we do?" Octavia asked, nervous as to how they were all going to get out of the situation they had just stumbled into. </p><p>Immediately the group were under fire. Raven quickly shoved Clarke down on the floor for better protection, arrows darting all around them from every angle.<br/>
Emori ducked her head and looked over at Echo with a pained expression.<br/>
Instantly Raven sensed It, a tension so thick the cloud of fog that loomed in the forest seemed as thin as paper in comparison.<br/>
She was in plain sight against a tree trunk, Her gaze fixated on Clarke who was looking up at her worriedly. </p><p>"We need to fight our way out, There's probably 5 or 6 people out there ready to kill as soon as they have the chance. We need a distraction then we run." Echos voice was full of worry as she stated out into the treeline, the arrows seemed to slow which wasnt the best sign believe it or not.<br/>
Emori looked over at Echo suspiciously,<br/>
"Echo and I know the forest like the back of our hands, they are going to move in slow. As soon as we move they are going to pounce, I'll run through the trees there-" Emori paused and pointed over into the treeline over to the east of their current position. </p><p>"When i run Clarke and Murphy you need to run with Octavia, she's trained by indra so she's one of the best warriors" Octavia nodded at what Emori had said and then over at Clarke and Raven.<br/>
"Clarke I promise you ill get you out safe, Lincolns cave is closer than the ark we'll make a dash for the treeline on the north as Emori runs" Clarke shook her head and looked over at raven. There was no way she would ever leave her girlfriend behind, not ever. </p><p>Ravens face softened and she nodded her head. "Clarke ill be fine, I have Echo with me after you run we'll run" she whispered and ducked down as another arrow shot through the air over her head.<br/>
"Clarke no matter what happens ill do whatever I can to get raven back to you safe Emoris distraction will hopefully give you and us enough time to run" Echo opened her rucksack quietly and threw over a knife to Emori along with a gun which she threw over to Octavia.<br/>
Raven knew Echo was lying when she said there would be enough time for them all to retreat to safety but having Clarke safe and sound was more important than her own safety. </p><p>Emori quickly pecked Murphy on the lips and nodded her head indicating that she was ready, she quickly spun around and sprinted towards the treeline. Arrows pierced through the air instantly and low raspy screams echoed through the trees.<br/>
Clarke stood up and wrapped her arms around Raven, she planted a kiss on the girls lips and Raven wiped away Clarke's tears which started to fall down her cheeks.<br/>
"I love you.. come back to me" Clarke choked up on her tears and looked back at Murphy who had a frown on his face.<br/>
"I love you too.. and I promise" raven whispered as her own eyes filled with tears.<br/>
As soon as all the warriors ran in the direction which Emori had ran to, Octavia grabbed Clarke by the hand and they began to run to the north with Murphy as quick as they could. </p><p>A few Arrows and spears firing at them until the my finally disappeared from view. Leaving Raven and Echo behind to face the rest of the warriors.<br/>
Suddenly a low whistle sounded through the air and Echo smirked defiantly, recognising the whistle. Raven crouched down next to her and looked over at her as she gripped onto her own knife. "What is It?" Raven questioned as another whistle sounded through the air moments later.<br/>
"Emori made It-" she paused and looked over to the north "So did Clarke, Murphy and Octavia"<br/>
Raven felt sick to her stomach at the possibility that she wouldn't even make it out of the forest, she sank back against the tree trunk and clenched her fingers into small fists.<br/>
Echo sank down next to her and bit down on her bottom lip.<br/>
"Are we going to die? I know you lied we're pretty much screwed" Raven muttered, her jaw clenched and she placed her hand on Echos shoulder for stability.</p><p>Echo furrowed her brow as if mimicking the tension she felt internally, she twirled her knife around and peered out behind the tree once more, her hands gripped onto the knife tighter as 5 warriors came into view making their way over to the trees which they were hiding behind. She looked back at raven, fear evident in her eyes. "No I won't let that happen but rae it doesn't look good" she muttered back and rested her forehead against ravens as a sign of strength and unity.<br/>
"I said I'd get you back to Clarke.. but you need to stay strong if they wanted to kill us we'd be dead already whatever you do.. don't fight them" Echo moved away after a moment and Raven nodded.</p><p>Raven held her breath as harsh foot steps came from behind, their silence being interrupted as the 5 warriors surrounded them.<br/>
A wave of dizziness consumed raven as one of the warriors sprayed a yellow liquid directly into Echo and Ravens faces.<br/>
Both of them spluttered and coughed for air, the harsh liquid filled their lungs and their eyes flickered as they lost consciousness and fell to the floor.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Afraid</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Clarke and the group come to the realization that Echo and Raven aren't going to be coming back, this chapter will include their feelings towards the current situation and they will comfort each other while making sure to be strong for Clarke as she is still very fragile herself.</p><p>Echo and Raven wake up in a unfamiliar room, they both comfort each other during the torment they start to endure, Echo also tries her best to protect Raven however she is unsuccessful when she is also being tortured herself. </p><p>will they make it out alive? or will one of them give up trying to escape? read to find out!</p><p> </p><p>Echo thrashed her wrist against the handcuffs violently trying to break free and the woman hissed, connecting a blunt object to the side of Echo's head causing her mind to fog and her vision to blur.<br/>She slumped to the ground and kicked her legs out, the woman glared at her angrily and tore her clothes off in a matter of moments leaving her in her undergarments.<br/>"Don't touch her" Echo mumbled deliriously</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter contains some violence and it is a little graphic so of course if this is something that triggers you please read at your own risk, its not extreme but I think a warning is necessary. </p><p>please leave comments and kudos &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>19th June 2145</p><p>Clarke Griffin pov:</p><p>As Clarke, Murphy and Octavia reached Lincoln's cave, she could tell something was wrong. The tension in the air grew thicker and the forest was now deadly silent. All evidence of their ambush had completely vanished, she looked out of the cave. A frown appearing on her face as Raven and Echo were nowhere to be scene, she could only hear one set of foot steps.<br/>
She looked over into the trees and sighed in relief as Emori sprinted out of the treeline and into the cave as quick as she could.<br/>
"She didn't- echo didn't whistle back" Emori panted out and Clarke's face filled with concern, as did Octavia's and Murphy's.<br/>
Her hands began to shake and her knees buckled causing her to fall to the floor in worry.<br/>
"Clarke.." Octavia whispered, placing her hand on Clarke's shoulder. She leant down in front of the blonde and pulled her into a tight hug.</p><p>"Raven's going to survive Clarke, so will Echo.. they are both strong and if anyone would make it it'll be Them"<br/>
Clarke nodded her head weakly, She knew raven was strong, in fact she was the strongest girl she had ever met, and Echo? Well she was a natural warrior, trained from birth to fight to the death, trained to survive everything and anything. Maybe Octavia was right, even if they hadn't made it out of the forest she knew deep down the pair would be alive.</p><p>"We need to get back to camp, the sooner the better" Clarke stated in a oddly calm manor. She had to be strong, for Raven and for Echo.<br/>
There was still a slim chance the dup would make it out the forest and return to camp whenever they could.<br/>
She jumped up on her feet and turned her head to the group nodded agreeingly.<br/>
Octavia grabbed onto Clarke's hand, holding it comfortingly as they quickly ran out of the cave and back through the dense forest toward the camp.<br/>
She was still in shock, she thought there was enough time for Raven and Echo to make it out. The distraction was good enough that her, Clarke and Murphy made it into the cave and still hand some extra time to unpack. It just didn't make sense.<br/>
She sighed, blaming herself was pointless. She knew Azgedakru were relentless but so were her two friends. </p><p>Clarke looked over at murphy with a frown, it was clear that he was distracted, deep in his thoughts as he walked through the forest hand in hand with Emori, he was lucky that his partner got away with only a few scrapes and bruises. Whereas Clarke didn't even know how raven was doing, let alone if she was alive.<br/>
A part of her had a feeling that she was, deep in her gut she knew that if raven was gone she would have felt it in her gut.<br/>
She sighed as Murphy jumped, clearly he didn't realise that they had just arrived at the camp until the gates caused his body to jolt forward and lose his trail of thoughts. </p><p>Clarke started walking again as the gate buzzed indicating that it was now secure and locked.<br/>
"Right we need food and then we need to think this through, Raven and Echo are in the forest or god knows where. If they aren't home in 2 hours we think of a plan and we search for them" she pulled Octavia along and began to walk over into the bar which was empty due to the fact all the skaikru citizens were either at work or eating dinner in the mess hall.<br/>
Clarke sighed as Octavia squeezed her hand, she sat down on a chair in the corner of the bar, Murphy sat down in front of her with Emori and Octavia sat on her left.<br/>
"Emori tell us about Azgedakru" Clarke mumbled and leant back on the soft cushioned chair and grabbed a bottle of moonshine from the side of the chair, gulping down a few mouthfuls eagerly trying to silence the overwhelming worry that filled her mind.</p><p>Emori leant forward and Clarke mirrored her actions, she placed her right hand in her lap and her other hand on top of Octavia's that was resting on her left shoulder.</p><p>"Azgedakru.. they are grounders that are separate from trikru, you saw them at mount weather but they moved from their old location to a new one after mount weather fell, led by king roan.." She paused for a moment and Clarke nodded her head encouraging her to continue.<br/>
"He went foto as om gona don dula nou make em au kom Maun-de. He gaf in baman ona trikru en skaikru gon letting Em kru wan op. Kom Em nomon dead he na dula op as he gaf in" Emori looked down at her hands, murphy looked over at her curiously clearly not understanding anything she was saying and Clarke ran her fingers through her hair in frustration.</p><p>"She said Roan turned evil because a lot of his men died in mount weather, He wants vengeance on trikru and skaikru for allowing it to happen. Nobody can stop him now that his mother is dead" Clarke translated Emori's words for Murphy and he dropped his head with a frown.<br/>
Clarke put her hand on the back of her neck nervously, gulping down her fear as beads of sweat trickled down her neck.<br/>
"Are they going to be okay.. they aren't back its been an hour" Clarke croaked out, suddenly more aware of the danger her girlfriend and Echo were in.<br/>
Octavia pulled her closer and rested her chin on the top of Clarke's head "Its Reyes and Echo.. Clarke they'll be okay. We'll put a search crew together to go out at first light. The forest is full of boobytraps and for all we know they could have more men than we realised out there. We aren't any good for them if we're dead" she mumbled and Clarke nodded her head. Her heart broke and tears rolled down her cheeks, she had no ability to stop them from falling. She felt helpless, as much as she wanted to go out and rescue her love she knew deep down that Octavia was right, but she still had hope, a small amount but it was better than not having any at all.</p><p>------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>Raven Reyes pov:</p><p>Ravens eyes fluttered open, she blinked trying to figure out where she was but she had no idea.<br/>
It was dark, the sound of water dripping came from the corner of the room and a outline of a person came into view beside her as the dimly lit lightbulb swung in the air, the person was sat up and a rather feminine yet raspy voice filled her ears. "Raven?" The person spoke and she whimpered as her body throbbed.<br/>
Her brain finally became aware of the intense pain that shot through her body, she shrieked in agony and slung her head back.<br/>
The figure moved again and a light rattle from a pair of chains chimed as Echo tugged on the handcuffs her left wrist was trapped in "Raven it's me..are you alright?".<br/>
Raven blinked again, the air was muggy and cold, the smell of earth filled her nostrils each time she inhaled, she scrunched her face up in disgust and pulled on the metal object which bound her right wrist to a metal pole in the centre of the room.<br/>
"No.. are you?" Raven hissed and pulled on the handcuffs once more.<br/>
Raven wigged her feet, she sighed as she realised her feet and legs were bare, socks, skirt and shoes had been removed along with her jacket. Leaving her almost naked with just her underwear and bralette on.<br/>
"I'm cold.. And my ribs fucking hurt" Echo cursed and Raven looked beside her at her friend who also, had been stripped to the bare minimum clothing, her teeth chattered and she scooted closer to Echo trying to share her warmth.</p><p>Raven pulled her right wrist, causing the chains to rattle and the harsh metal to dig into her soft skin. She bit down on her bottom lip and wiped the sweat off her forehead with her free hand.<br/>
Her eyebrows furrowed and she closed her eyes, trying to remember the events leading up to their kidnapping, she opened her eyes moments later and looked over at Echo who was staring at the hatch<br/>
"They knew what we were planning.. they knew we wouldn't be able to escape but why did they take us?" Echo turned and her eyes shot up to meet Ravens gaze, she shrugged her shoulders and looked up at the</p><p>Hatch on the ceiling as footsteps went over it causing dust, mud other damp debris to fall on them, covering their hair in brown grime and dirt.<br/>
"Dont ask questions you don't want to know the answer to.. just be thankful we aren't dead" Echo whispered and Raven gulped, she scooted closer to echo and rested her head on the girls shoulder.<br/>
Raven groaned and Echo gazed up at her sadly.<br/>
"Will the others be okay?" Echo mumbled, a determined flare lit up in Ravens eyes and she nodded without hesitation.<br/>
"They are strong, they won't stop until they have found us" Raven muttered being careful that their conversations weren't loud enough to be audible to anyone who was near the room they were trapped in. Echo smiled and leant her head on top of ravens.<br/>
Silence fell on the pair, the deathly stench of fear and death coming from the dimly lit room wasn't doing them any favours for them.<br/>
Raven looked down at the floor, moss and other types of bryophyte plants covered the moist area and ivy hung down from the walls covering any natural light source, It was evident that they had been hidden underground.</p><p>The silence ended abruptly as the hatch above raven opened, a ladder clattered down to the ground.<br/>
Raven blinked at the sudden change in light, her pupils expanded and she felt Echo jump as a big figure thudded on the floor. She cringed as the man made his way over to them and grumbled raspily in Trigedasleng.</p><p>Raven looked up, a pair of dark eyes fixated on her and then on Echo, a glimmer coming from the man's hand caught her eye and she gulped in fear as she realised he was holding a knife.<br/>
The man spoke and immediately raven wished she had never let Clarke teach her trigedasleng, she was sure being oblivious to the language would be better in the moment.<br/>
"Nobody wants to play a game" raven hissed, instantly regretting her decision to speak as he pulled her up angrily the handcuffs being undone by another man who was now in the room.<br/>
She grunted as his hands gripped onto her shoulders, her back was slammed against the concrete wall harshly.</p><p>Raven inhaled as the man licked his lips and bought the knife up to her chest and dragged the sharp metal across her flesh. Making a jagged cut, she held her breath and looked over at Echo trying to block out the pain that overwhelmed her body. Even though screamed out in pain she knew it was useless nobody would hear them, she looked up at the man's face. His features were sharp and his face was covered in dark black tattoos, his muscles were bulging in his tight fitted shirt and his eyes were full of nothing but evil.<br/>
"Stop hurting her!" Echo screamed and Raven let out a cry in agony, the other man took his knife out of his pocket and slashed Echo's cheek causing her to grimace in pain he chuckled and sliced her thigh open causing her to shriek. The man backed away and stood at the bottom of the ladder.<br/>
Ravens chest heaved, she teared up at the fact Echo had just been injured, the other warrior let out a manic laugh before dragging the knife along her chest once again, she scrunched her face up and screamed again as a third cut was made along her stomach, blood trickled down her front from her deep wounds and her body shivered as the warm liquid dripped down onto the floor, her body throbbed and she clenched her hands into fists.</p><p>The warrior gripped onto her once more and punched her in the stomach, her face fell and she fell forwards as the air got knocked out of her lungs, she grunted as her body was shoved back over to the pole, her wrist was handcuffed back to the metal and within moments the room was empty again as the men exited the room, just before the hatch was shut two water containers were flung down in front of them. The hatch slammed shut and she looked over at Echo who had a few tears rolling down her cheeks.<br/>
Raven laid back carefully and pointed towards the container, her wounds were pouring with blood and she panted for air, her undergarments were completely soaked in blood and Echo quickly undone one of the containers. She leant into her friends embrace as Echo wrapped her free hand around ravens waist.<br/>
She placed her arms on either side of her body and shivered as Echo poured the cold liquid over her wounds. Raven pushed the hair back that had fallen over Echo's shoulders behind her back and she whimpered in pain, tears rolled down her cheeks and she took the container from Echo and lightly splashed her friends cheek and thigh washing the blood away from her injury's<br/>
She cuddled up to Echo as the badly circulated room started to get colder, their nearly naked bodies trembled from the cold and the pain they were experiencing.</p><p>"What're we gonna do Echo?" Raven asked as she tucked Echo's hair behind her ear to prevent it from contaminating her wound on her cheek.<br/>
Echo blinked and looked down at her with a small smile.<br/>
"We wait to be saved.." She said simply, Raven nodded her head and bit down on her bottom lip to prevent the tears that were threatening to escape her eyes, she closed her eyes tightly and whimpered quietly.<br/>
For a second, raven could see Clarke in her mind, looking at her intensely and telling her to fight and not give up, she shuddered and just like that the image was gone.<br/>
She knew she had to fight, fight for her friends. Fight for Clarke.</p><p>Darkness began to fill ravens eyes and she clutched onto Echo tightly who was staring at the wall, evidently lost in thought. Moments passed and Sleep took over ravens body, her body collapsed against echo and her breathing slowed as she drifted further into her subconsciousness.</p><p>------------------------------------------------------------------<br/>
Echo pov:</p><p>Echo pov:</p><p>Echo woke up with a start.<br/>
With a thud, her body was more or less thrown onto the floor, she flickered her eyes open a little. Her brown orbs immediately falling onto the unconscious body of her friend that laid beside her.<br/>
She looked around cautiously and froze as 4 warriors came into her eye line, all dressed in thick animal furs, dark tattoos covering their faces and a sword attached to each of their belts.<br/>
"They'll be useful" A harsh voice spoke in Trigedasleng and two warriors began to turn around, she shut her eyes quickly and stilled her body as much as she could.<br/>
One of the warriors crouched down beside Echo and raven, a strong scent of dirt and musk filled Echos nose and she held her breath to prevent herself from gagging, she opened her eyes a little but not too much that he would see that she was awake.<br/>
The warrior moved his hand forward and brushed his hand over her lower leg before moving away briskly.<br/>
"Skaikru wont get them back" The fellow warrior spoke up as he opened up a hatch in the ground, echo bit down on her tongue so she wouldn't be tempted to scream out for help and closed her eyes.</p><p>She watched as he brushed his hands together ridding of the dirt from the hatch and made his way over to Echo, her body was scooped up off the group and he slung her over his shoulder harshly, her ribs thudding against his muscular shoulder as he made his way down the ladder. Once he hit the floor he slung her body down on a damp feeling floor beside a metal pole and climbed back up the ladder, returning moments later with Ravens body.<br/>
He threw her down on the floor and then exited the bunker, the hatch slammed shut and Echo opened her eyes, she crawled over to raven who began to stir and pulled her over to the pole so she could protect her easily if the men were to come back.</p><p>Echo closed her eyes, trying to slow the rate of her heartbeat. Yelling and shouting came from outside the hatch causing her body to jump in slight fear. Even though she was trained for situations like these they still terrified her, after all she knew these situations never ended well.<br/>
After several minutes the shouting stopped and the hatch was opened up yet again, a woman made her way down from the ladder and stood in front of her and Raven.<br/>
She had a slight tan to her skin, her eyes were dark and she looked numb, almost emotionless. Echo looked down, refusing to even meet the woman's eyes.<br/>
The woman stepped over to her and locked a pair of handcuffs onto her right wrist, before making her way over to raves unconscious body and locking her left wrist in handcuffs.</p><p>Echo thrashed her wrist against the handcuffs violently trying to break free and the woman hissed, connecting a blunt object to the side of Echo's head causing her mind to fog and her vision to blur.<br/>
She slumped to the ground and kicked her legs out, the woman glared at her angrily and tore her clothes off in a matter of moments leaving her in her undergarments.<br/>
"Don't touch her" Echo mumbled deliriously, the woman ignored her pleads and ripped ravens clothes off as well, along with her leg brace.<br/>
Echo sighed and closed her eyes, she placed her free hand up to her temple and applied light pressure onto her head, her body trembled from the cold and she drew her legs up to her stomach at an attempt to retain heat.<br/>
The woman gathered up all their clothes and made her way back up the ladder without looking back, the hatch was relocked and the footsteps faded out into the distance.</p><p>Echo looked over at raven who let out a small groan, her eyes fluttered open and she looked around the dark room, the only light source in the room was a nearly broken lightbulb that hung from the ceiling.<br/>
"Raven?" She mumbled trying to get her friends attention.<br/>
She pulled on the handcuffs as Raven screamed in agony due to her leg brace being removed.<br/>
" Raven it's me..are you alright?" She whispered again. Finally getting a response from Raven, she sighed in relief and shook her head as Raven asked if she was okay.<br/>
"I'm cold and my ribs fucking hurt" she replied and wrapped her arms around Raven who scooted closer to her so they could share body warmth, ravens body trembled against her own shaking body and she cuddled up closer to her.</p><p>Echo stared up at the opening in the ceiling, her eyebrows narrowed and she shook her head. Brushing off the idea of escaping from her mind. She turned around as Raven began to speak quietly, She shrugged her shoulders and shook her head as someone walked over the hatch causing debris and mud to fall on top of them. "Don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to.. just be thankful we aren't dead" she whispered back bluntly and wiped the mud from her face with her free hand. She exhaled a nervous breath and relaxed her arms as Raven groaned and rested her head on top of her shoulder.<br/>
"Will they be Okay?" She mumbled and looked into Ravens eyes, the mechanic nodded and she sighed a little. She knew her group of friends were strong but she also knew the ice nation were stronger and had more men and much more experience.<br/>
She smiled weakly and rested her head on top of ravens, silence falling over them for a few minutes before the hatch opened suddenly.</p><p>The ladder clattered back down on the group which the warriors had bought up last time they exited the bunker. The thud the ladder made on the ground caused Echo to jump.<br/>
She turned her head as one of the same warriors from before made his way over to them, he was mumbling in Trigedasleng about them playing a game.<br/>
She inhaled and scrunched her face up in utter disgust, she gasped and shook her head as Raven hissed and spoke up to the warrior "Nobody wants to play a game".</p><p>Echo gritted her teeth And turned around, she quickly looked away and then down at the floor, another warrior stood behind her and he angrily undone ravens handcuffs, her body was slammed against the concrete causing a crash to echo through the room.<br/>
She snapped her head up from the floor, her mind was overcrowded with insults and curses she wanted to throw at the warriors but she knew they would get even more injured if they answered back, which unfortunately raven was learning that the hard way and she couldn't do anything to stop it.<br/>
Her heart thudded in her chest, her mind blanked and she could only watch as Ravens chest was cut in a jagged line, the warrior simply laughed and twisted his knife, he pointed it towards ravens neck and the other warrior stood behind Echo making her feel uneasy.<br/>
Echo looked up at raven as she looked over at her, their gazes locked for a moment.<br/>
"Stop hurting her!" Echo screamed and cringed as Raven let out a loud cry.<br/>
She winced as her cheek was suddenly cut by the other warrior, a pain came from her thigh and shrieked. The warrior sliced her thigh open and blood spurted from the wound, she shrieked in pain and tears rolled down her cheeks.</p><p>The warrior punched raven in the stomach winding her and she fell forwards, gasping for breath, the men left the room and slammed the hatch shut once they had reached the top.<br/>
Echo curled her legs up and she sobbed silently, Raven laid back and she grabbed the container of water, she wiped her own tears away and took a deep breath.<br/>
She undone the water and carefully poured it over ravens wounds, making sure to wash away any dirt that was surrounding the areas to reduce the risk of infection, she looked up at raven who grabbed the water container from her, the cold liquid was splashed onto her cheek and thigh, blood tainted the water and it pooled under their legs in red puddles.<br/>
"Thank you" she whispered and wrapped her free arm around Raven as she cuddled into her for comfort and warmth.<br/>
"What're we gonna do Echo?" Raven asked and she replied in the most simple way she could.<br/>
"We wait to be saved.." She sighed and stroked ravens back as the mechanic closed her eyes trying her best not to cry.</p><p>Echo looked over at the wall and tightened her grip on Raven as she started to fall asleep, her body going limp in her arms, she let out another sigh and her mind drifted off into thought. Raven collapsed against her and her breathing slowed indicating that she had fallen asleep from exhaustion and the overwhelming pain.<br/>
Echo closed her eyes sleepily and groaned She knew getting out of here would be harder than she originally thought, they weren't nowhere near where the ice nation grounds were, and the fact that they were under the ground would only make finding them harder.<br/>
She rested her head back on top of ravens and her body went limp as she fell into a painful and exhausted slumber.<br/>
She just hoped the others would find them before it was too late.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Nightmare.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>This chapter is completely based off of Clarke, Octavia, Murphy and Emori and how they are all coping with the fact that they don't know if they will ever see Raven or Echo again. <br/>the group come together as one in this chapter and it's nice to see them all comfort each other with the pain they all feel.</p><p>"I promised Raven id protect her you know? And now she's gone and I can't protect her I don't even know if she's alive Emori, we don't know if either of them are.. just because there's no tracks doesn't mean they aren't dead"</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this chapter is basically a filler but i have tried to make it as interesting as i could, next chapter will be a big more extreme in terms of graphic violence and non consensual drug use, if these topics are sensitive to you then please read at your own risk as i am not responsible for your triggers. </p><p>this chapter doesn't include any triggering subjects its very vanilla. </p><p>also if you could comment and maybe tell me what you think will happen to Raven and Echo/ how they get out it would mean alot i would love to know what you guys think will happen.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>20th June 2145</p><p>Octavia was sat in Lincoln's cave, sharpening her sword, she rubbed down the metal with some oil and sighed deeply. She had a strong feeling in her heart that something was severely wrong with Echo and Raven. She placed the sword down and stood up, her back ached from being sat down for so long, she stretched her arms out and looked up with a slight smile as Lincoln walked into the cave. <br/>She hugged him tightly, she tried her best to block out the feeling as she pecked him on the cheek. <br/>Her eyebrows furrowed and she shook her head as he spoke asking if she was alright "Are Yu ait hod in?" He questioned. <br/>Octavia took a shaky breath and pulled away from him,  she looked up into his eyes and leant into his hand as he placed it onto her cheek. "I just.. I don't know if we will be able to get them back" she whispered and smiled a little as he rubbed over her cheek with his thumb.  <br/>"We will.. I promise you" he spoke in a soft tone, her face softened and she nodded her head hesitantly. She leant up on her tiptoes and pecked his lips gently before walking away back to her sword.</p><p>Lincoln followed her and sat down next to her, he placed down a sharpening stone and Octavia grabbed it and ran the smooth stone along her sword to sharpen the blade. <br/>She placed the stone down after she had finished with it and looked back at Lincoln. <br/>"Have you tracked anything in the forest?" She asked and turned her body around to face him, he shrugged his shoulders and placed a map down on the table, he moved his index finger along the map and then tapped on the circle which was around the place they had all been ambushed. <br/>"There are footsteps leading east and North which I believe belonged to you, murphy, Clarke, Emori and the warriors that ran after Emori. However the footsteps following Emori stopped and turned back after 600 yards" he moved his finger along the map and traced along the paper. Octavia scrunched her face up and leant forward to get a better view of the map. <br/>"The footsteps carry on until they reached the area where Raven and Echo were hiding, but then there are only 5 sets of footsteps leading off from that area to the west so if I'm correct Raven and Echo were carried away"</p><p>Lincoln placed a small metallic canister in Octavia's hands and she ran her fingers over it, she looked back up at him and then back down at the object with a frown. Her eyes widened and she sank back against the back of the chair. A wave of sadness washed over her as she realised the canister was a popular drug used by the grounders to make their prisoners unconscious, she placed the canister down on the table. <br/>"Indra told me about this stuff... they use it on the prisoners during transportation we need to tell Clarke" she placed her hands on her legs and then stood up, she pulled on her jacket and Lincoln stood up as well. <br/>Octavia grabbed her sword and slid it into her scabbard which hung beside her right hip. Her head turned and she walked out of the cave, Lincoln following her in pursuit. <br/>"How is Clarke?" Lincoln grabbed onto Octavia's hand and she whipped her head around to face him.</p><p>"Alright, keeping herself busy, me and Clarke scouted the forest before you but didn't find anything.. we're keeping an eye on her in case the stress causes her to relapse.. but she seems to be alright considering" <br/>She turned back around and pulled Lincoln along, she began to walk quicker through the forest as it was still unsafe, the warriors had set traps all along the outside of the forest too but luckily she had managed to take a few down with Clarke earlier that day. <br/>Octavia let go of Lincoln hand as they reached the edge of camp.</p><p>Three guards stood monitoring the broken part of the fence and she rolled her eyes, she knew they would give her trouble for bringing Lincoln to camp but she really wasn't in the mood, she walked over to the fence  and one of the guards turned around quickly and held his gun up to her and Lincoln. "Stand down moron" she hissed as he turned his gun to Lincoln.<br/>Octavia rolled her eyes and she grabbed the end of the rifle, she pulled it towards her and then shoved it back causing it to smack him directly in the throat, he choked and fell to his knees, the other guards backed away and she squeezed through the fence followed closely by Lincoln. <br/>"You didn't need to do that" Lincoln whispered and she shook her head, her head turned and she looked back at the guard who was still on the floor trying to catch his breath, she flashed him a innocent smile and turned back around to Lincoln. <br/>"He threatened you with a gun.. of course I needed to" she sighed and gripped onto his hand, she made her way over to the medical bay and walked inside, Lincoln chuckled she grinned at him, flashing him her signature smile before letting go of his hand, she walked over to Clarke and sat down on the counter which Clarke was stocking up with medical supplies.</p><p>She looked down at Clarke and poked the blonde in her face causing her to laugh a little. "Who pointed a gun at Lincoln?" Clarke asked and Octavia chuckled a little, she shuffled along the counter allowing Clarke to arrange the drawers below her feet. <br/>"Jeremy, the new guard Bellamy is training. They were blocking the fence and pointed his gun at Lincoln so I shoved the end in his throat". She shrugged her shoulders and Clarke let out a soft laugh. <br/>Clarke stood up and placed the medical tape behind Octavia on the shelf. <br/>"I would of paid money to see that, now in guessing you have something to tell me?" she chuckled and sat down on a chair in front of Octavia. <br/>Octavia nodded her head and pulled the map out of her pocket along with the small metal canister, she laid the map out on the counter and Clarke sat up giving herself a better view.</p><p>Octavia pointed down at the red circle on the centre of the map and began to explain to Clarke how the warriors clearly knew that they would send a distraction so they could run away, she also explained how it was obvious that the warriors didn't want to harm any of them as they just let them run away. Once she had finished explaining she handed Clarke the metal canister and Clarke looked at it carefully, Her eyebrows knitted and she looked up at Octavia in confusion. <br/>"It contains a gas which the grounders use to knock out prisoners when they are transporting them to the cells, Lincoln found it earlier in the bushes that Raven and Echo were hiding in, he also found 5 sets of foot prints leading off to the south which means Raven and Echo were both carried away from the scene"</p><p>Octavia placed her hand on top of Clarke's shoulder as the blonde looked up at her with a determined expression on her face. "Okay, so they didn't kill Raven and Echo but why did they take them in the first place then?" She questioned and Octavia shrugged her shoulders, she looked over at Lincoln and gestured for him to come over, he sat down next to Clarke and pointed at a large area on the map. <br/>"That's what I can't figure out, they could have taken them to threaten us but could also be a warning, the good thing is they aren't dead. The bad thing is the ice nation aren't in their old location which means we have a wider area to search" he stated calmly and Clarke nodded her head, a frown appearing on her face.</p><p>Octavia hopped down from the counter and wrapped her arms around Clarke, the blonde hugged her back and Octavia sat herself down on Clarke's lap. <br/>"What happens now?" Clarke muttered and placed her arm around Octavia's waist to secure her as she rested herself against Clarke's front. </p><p>Octavia looked between Lincoln and Clarke, "I went to see Indra earlier after we searched the forest and she said that she will send some scouts over the mountains to the old ice nation residence to see if there's any sign, we can't go out again today until trikru have taken down all the traps in the forest, should be done tomorrow" Octavia placed her arm around Clarkes shoulders and the blonde rolled her eyes playfully.</p><p>"Murphy is going to talk to Bellamy later about the whole situation, we aren't letting him help with the search though Echo wouldn't want that, I'm just praying that we get to them in time" Clarke bit down on her bottom lip and rested her chin on Octavia's shoulder. Octavia ran her fingers through Clarke's hair and pecked her on the cheek in a totally platonic way, Clarke smiled a little and Octavia hopped up off of her lap.</p><p>Octavia pulled Clarke up off the chair and looked over at Lincoln who stood up as well. "I saw Murphy and Emori go into the mess hall when we arrived, and I'm starving so let's go" she linked her left arm with Clarke's right arm and stuck her tongue out at Lincoln who gave them a confused look. She chuckled and walked out of the medical room, the trio made their way into the mess hall and she sat down in front of Murphy and Emori on their usual table as Clarke and Lincoln went off to get them all some food.<br/>"Did you talk to Bellamy?" Octavia asked and Murphy shook his head and pointed over at Bellamy who was sat down eating his supper with Monty and jasper, she frowned a little and looked back at Murphy. <br/>"How has he not noticed that his ex isn't here.. he's such a dick" she sighed and smiled a little as Clarke placed down a plate of food in front of her and sat down. Lincoln sat down next to Murphy and took a sip of his water. <br/>Murphy shrugged and corrected her, "he's not a dick he's selfish. On that note I'm going to go talk to him", he stood up and kissed the top of Emori's head before making his way over to Bellamy.<br/>Octavia and the others began to eat as they watched Murphy talk to Bellamy with his voice raised. "I see its going well" she mumbled and carried on eating. <br/>She looked over as Murphy walked back over to them and sat down with a unamused expression on his face.</p><p>"He's a nightmare" he scoffed and the group nodded in agreement.</p><p>------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>Clarke Pov:</p><p>Clarke's pov:</p><p>Clarke made her way back into camp from scouting the forest with Octavia, she walked over to Murphy's quarters and pounded on the door. A few moments passed and Emori opened the door with a frown on her face she moved out of the way and Clarke entered the room. <br/>She looked over at Murphy who was sat on his bed and then back at Emori who was now sitting down on the chair next to a table. Clarke sat down next to Emori and Murphy groaned and made his way over to them. <br/>Clarke sighed and placed her hands on her lap "Octavia and I just scouted the outskirts of the forest, we found nothing.. a few footsteps and that's it but they weren't from the warriors who took them they were too small" <br/>Emori ran her fingers through her hair in frustration and leant back on the chair, she crossed her legs and cracked her knuckles. "So we don't have anything? I can't believe they didn't have enough time to run, it doesn't make any sense unless they knew it was pointless to even try, ice nation aren't the people to mess with and that's evident. Echo grew up with them she knows what they are like and my parents were from ice nation but we had to run away because well.. They didn't accept me because of my mutation, they are ruthless Clarke but it doesn't make sense. Why did they take Echo and Raven?"</p><p>Clarke fiddled with her fingers and looked over at Emori with a frown, her eyebrows raised. "I don't know, we know a fair bit about Azgedakru but Emori can you tell us a bit more I know you're close with Echo and I know she's told you things, we need any key information to help us find them" Clarke leant over and squeezed Emori's hand supportively, she let go after a while and Emori nodded her head and sat up.<br/>"Echo told me she grew up in Azgeda, her parents passed away from a virus when she was young and she was bought up by king Roans friends, eventually she trained and became a member of Azgeda's royal guard. She was trained by king roan himself so she's one of the best, in training they forced her to kill many prisoners who disobeyed.. I crossed paths with Echo many times, she was with the people who destroyed my people's homes but she helped me and my friends escape multiple times. We met again after my brother was murdered. I don't know much else apart from Echo was banished from Azgeda when she cheated during the final conclave" Emori finished speaking and Clarke groaned in frustration, she nodded at Emori thanking her for telling her and Murphy held onto Emori's hand comfortingly. </p><p>Clarke stood up after a while and she brushed her hands over her shirt ridding of the sweat on her palms. <br/>"I'm going to sort the medical bay out" she smiled a little and Murphy nodded his head, Emori stood up and followed Clarke out of the room. <br/>"I'll join" she smiled and Clarke smiled back at her. <br/>She stepped into the medical bay and Emori shut the door behind her, the medical machines beeped in sync to each other and Clarke grabbed a scalpel and tore open a few boxes that had new medical equipment inside. "Can you place the needles in the drawer over there, make sure all of them are sealed" Emori nodded her head and grabbed all the needles from the box and neatly placed them all in the drawer. <br/>Clarke started to spray down the medical room with Monty's home made disinfectant, she scrunched her nose up and gagged a little. The smell was intense and it smelt sour, almost like she had squirted the juice of 10 lemons all over the floors.</p><p>"I promised Raven id protect her you know? And now she's gone and I can't protect her I don't even know if she's alive Emori, we don't know if either of them are.. just because there's no tracks doesn't mean they aren't dead" she scrubbed the hospital beds down and jumped a little as Emori placed her hand on her shoulder comfortingly. <br/>She looked back and placed her hand on top of Emori's, a overwhelming sadness settling in her mind like a disease you can't get rid of, she sighed and Emori looked at her with the same sadness. <br/>"They'll be okay.. I know it's hard, but Clarke they're part of the 100.. not technically but we're a family and we're strong, stronger than the ice nation and I promise you we will get them back" Emori exhaled a breath and Clarke turned around, she wrapped her arms around Emori and Emori did the same, wrapping Clarke in a tight hug. <br/>"It sounds like you love Echo" Clarke mumbled, Emori rolled her eyes and pulled away from the hug with a laugh, "I do, but I love Murphy more" she chuckled and Clarke laughed as well. <br/>She pointed toward another box and Emori emptied it out and placed all the bandages and plasters away in a  empty drawer.</p><p>"Fuck" Clarke cursed under her breath, her eyes fixated on the huge pile of boxes on the other side of the room. She looked over at Emori and rolled her eyes in annoyance. <br/>"Does Eric not do anything around here?" Emori whispered and Clarke shook her head, she grabbed a clipboard and scribbled down a few notes about the stock she had already put away, she walked over to the desk and grabbed all the letters and trade fees which they owed trikru for all the medical supplies. <br/>"Eric is taking time off because apparently the work is too stressful when we haven't had any patients in over a week" she chuckled and Emori scoffed and started to fold up all the empty boxes, she placed them near the door. <br/>"That's ridiculous I can help out whenever you need some extra hands." She offered and Clarke smiled gratefully, she placed the letters and notes back on the desk and took a sip of water. <br/>"Honestly id love it I'm just trying to keep my mind off the situation because if I don't ill cry and I won't be able to stop.. I've only just made her mine, and she's gone again" Clarke closed the drawer harshly and Emori gave her a sympathetic look. <br/>"If you need to cry Clarke you can.. but you'll probably make me cry too and it's not a pretty sight" she chuckled and Clarke laughed a little.</p><p>After they had finished putting away half of the new stock Emori left the medical bay to find Murphy, Clarke emptied out a few more boxes and looked behind her as Octavia and Lincoln entered the room, Octavia was complaining about how a guard threatened Lincoln so she slung the gun back into his throat causing the guard to choke and fall to the ground.<br/> "Who was it?" Clarke let out a laugh and sat down on the chair as Octavia hopped up on the counter. <br/>Clarke rolled her eyes as Octavia explained that the guard was Jeremy, a new recruit that Bellamy was training himself. <br/>'No wonder hes a jerk' Clarke thought to herself and furrowed her eyebrows as a metal canister was placed in her hand and Octavia explained how the grounders used the gas in the canister to drug and knock out prisoners when they were transported to the cells in polis.</p><p>"Okay, so they didn't kill Raven and Echo but why did they take them in the first place?" She questioned and Lincoln shrugged his shoulders, it didn't at all make sense to Clarke, if they didn't kill Raven and Echo the moment they saw them why did they take them as hostages? They weren't night bloods as far as Clarke knew and the ice nation never took hostages without a reason.<br/>Lincoln explained that they could have been taken as a warning or as a threat to skaikru. Yet it still didn't make sense to Clarke, surely if they wanted to threaten skaikru they would have taken Octavia or one of the chancellor's like Kane. After all they were more popular amongst skaikru people. Echo was from Azgeda, She was part of the royal guard and then got banished and Raven was just known as a mechanic to skaikru people. But to Clarke she was much more. She was her world and the love of her life. None of it made any sense</p><p>Clarke wrapped her arms around Octavia as she hopped down from the counter and sat down on her lap. "What happens now?" She asked and Octavia informed her that she had visited Indra and her mentor would be sending scouts over to the old Azgedakru territory to see if they could find any sign of Raven and Echo. She rolled her eyes and rested her chin on Octavia's shoulder as she leant back against her stomach. <br/>"Murphy is going to talk to Bellamy later about the whole situation, we aren't letting him help with the search though Echo wouldn't want that, I'm just praying that we get to them in time" Octavia spoke and ran her fingers through Clarke's hair, she scrunched her face up and smiled as Octavia planted a kiss on her cheek and climbed up off of her lap.</p><p>Clarke grunted as Octavia pulled her up off the chair mumbling something about how she was hungry. Clarke's stomach rumbled and she nodded her head. "Same" she whispered and linked her arm with Octavia. <br/>They walked out of the medical bay and made their way into the mess hall, Clarke let go of Octavia's arm and walked over to the food area with Lincoln. <br/>She grabbed a few bowls of chips and some breaded plant based fake chicken fingers. <br/>Lincoln grabbed a plate of pizza and they made their way over to the group, She placed the food on the table and ate a slice of pizza hungrily. <br/>She laughed a little at Octavia as the girl called Bellamy a name. <br/>Murphy got up from the table a few moments later and walked over to Bellamy to inform him about the situation, Clarke looked over at them and tilted her head to the side so she could hear what they were saying.</p><p>Murphy explained that Raven and Echo had been taken by members of Azgedakru and that He wasn't allowed to get involved in the rescue mission as he would compromise their knowledge and potentially make the situation worse. <br/>Bellamy started to curse at Murphy "Echo doesn't want you Bellamy get it into your head. She doesn't love you anymore. You're not coming end of." Murphy hissed and walked away from the table clearly unamused. <br/>Clarke giggled at murphy as he called Bellamy a nightmare and she nodded her head in agreement. <br/>"Isn't he just" she chuckled and Looked beside her at Ravens usual seat. <br/>A frown appeared on her face yet again and she sighed. <br/>"I just want her home" she mumbled and wrapped ravens red jacket around herself more, she inhaled the scent and huffed. The smell of vanilla and coconut invaded her nose and she rested her head on Octavia's shoulder.</p><p>"We'll get her back Clarke don't worry" she soothed and the rest of the group nodded their heads. <br/>Clarke sighed a little and relaxed her shoulders.<br/>She felt like she couldn't breathe without having Raven by her side, she couldn't give up on her girlfriend not now not ever. She needed to have her back and she was determined to have her back no matter what.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Leave me Alone</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Raven and Echo wake up in an unfamiliar environment, both of them try their hardest to fight to survive. <br/>they are forced to do something that will haunt them for the foreseeable. <br/>"Yu gonplei ste odon" she whispered and swung her sword forward, piercing the sword through his chest instantly killing him on the spot.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter contains some graphic violence and non consensual drug use, if these topics are sensitive to you please read at your own risk. </p><p>also leave comments about what you liked about this chapter and what you think will happen in future chapters</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>21st June 2145</p><p>Raven leaned against the pole, she squinted in the darkness. Carefully she moved Echo's head off of her shoulder and moved her onto her lap. Her shoulder cramped painfully and she rolled it back trying to relieve her muscles. <br/>Rain poured down outside the bunker and leaked through the cracks in the ceiling causing the floor to flood even more, she shivered profusely and sneezed from the overwhelming cold that clung to her bones. <br/>She stared down at Echo and rubbed her shoulders as she began to wake up from her slumber. <br/>"You awake Echo?" She brushed Echo's hair out of her face and checked her wound over on her cheek, checking for signs of infection. <br/>Echo nodded her head and slowly sat up, groaning a little as she did so, she looked down Echo's thigh and sighed in relief, seeing no sign of infection on the areas. <br/>"You're lucky they aren't infected" she grabbed the container of water, opened it and handed it over to Echo who took a few sips and handed it back to raven.</p><p>"How do you feel?" Echo whispered and Raven sipped on the water, she poured a little onto her stomach and chest and breathed shakily. <br/>"Like I got a knife dug in my skin" she opened her mouth to laugh but instead she frowned and her bottom lip trembled, her side tingled and she leant into Echo's embrace as she was pulled closer to her. <br/>"Ditto" Echo whispered, letting her hand drop down to her thigh lightly tracing over inflamed cut, her eyelashes fluttered and she looked back at raven and then up at the hatch. Fear washing over her at the idea of one of the warriors being in the bunker whilst she slept.</p><p>Raven placed the container of water down on the floor and looked back at Echo, noticing the fear in her face almost immediately. She pursed her lips and carefully sat up on her legs trying to lift her body out of the dirty cold water as much as possible. <br/>"Nobody was here if that's what you are worried about.. I've not heard anyone all morning" <br/>Echo swallowed harshly, her throat felt sore almost like she'd swallowed a thousand razor blades, she licked over her lips and nodded her head. <br/>"Right.. I'm not saying I'm glad you're here with me but.. It's nice having the company" she smiled weakly.</p><p>Raven chuckled a little "Ditto Echo ditto" she mocked and Echo gripped onto the pole and carefully hoisted herself up onto her knees. <br/>She strained her wrist against the pole and she gently placed her fingers inside the handcuffs, lightly rubbing her bruised skin, she groaned a little and her legs throbbed as her muscles began to cramp. <br/>Echo held her free hand out and Raven grabbed onto it and winced as she sat back down on the floor and grimaced in disgust as the dirty water sloshed around her legs, a repulsive stench filled the air from the disturbed water and she heaved. <br/>"I think.. I'm gonna puke" she gagged again and Echo quickly gripped onto Ravens hair pulling it out of her face as she vomited and coughed up a load of bile and water she wiped her mouth and leant back against the pole.</p><p>"I'm sorry.. Echo move over you're literally sitting in my vomit" Raven mumbled and lightly shoved Echo trying to move her away from the contaminated water. <br/>Echo shook her head and stayed put, her free arm wrapping around ravens waist as she held onto her tightly. "Raven i'm not moving.. I don't care" she whispered and raven huffed, she looked down at the floor. <br/>"If it makes you feel better I peed earlier so you're sitting in my pee and I'm sat in your vomit" Echo chuckled and Raven rolled her eyes and chuckled a little, resting her front against Echo's front for warmth and comfort.</p><p>After a few hours the tense silence came to a end, footsteps trudged over to the hatch and the metal cover opened up with a slam. <br/>Raven sat up instantly and looked over at Echo in fear. She quietly told Echo to stay silent no matter what happens and the brunette nodded her head hesitantly. <br/>The ladder crashed to the floor and two male warriors climbed down the wooden ladder and their feet thudded on the floor.<br/>"awake I see, ready to play?" The tallest warrior spat venomously, his words tainted with evil amusement<br/>as he violently tore the handcuffs off of their wrists causing them both to whimper from the pain, he slung the metal objects off into the corner of the room. <br/>Raven hissed in pain as one of the men grabbed her chin harshly, forcing her to look up into his psychopathic eyes. <br/>"Nothing to say today?" He spoke, tightening his grip on her chin, she shook her head quickly and he let go, her head dropped and she looked down at the floor not daring to look back up.</p><p>He looked over at the other man and nodded his head, communicating silently with his accomplice. Both men grunted and forcefully lifted Raven and Echo up, their bodies were slung over the men's shoulders as they mirrored their actions from a day previous, they climbed up the ladder and the hatch slammed shut with a loud thud. <br/>The men carried them through a unfamiliar part of the forest and Raven closed her eyes tightly, trying to force her mind to go to a happier, less traumatizing place. But, it was no use. <br/>Her eyes snapped back open and she groaned in pain as the wound on her stomach rubbed against the rough material on his coat. <br/>For the next immeasurable amount of time, the warriors kept walking, eventually they exited the forest and ended up on a area of continuous sand. <br/>The dry sand battered against their injured skin and Raven and Echo whined in pain, their skin being too sore to even tolerate the slight contact. <br/>"Nearly there" One of the warriors muttered, it was clear they were transporting them further and further from camp and further away from the possibility of being saved.</p><p>Twenty minutes passed and eventually the warriors stopped in their tracks. <br/>Echo lifted her head and gazed around at her surroundings, attempting to take in as much as possible. They were surrounded by an endless amount of sand and hills, the only glimpse of civilisation being the small sized hut in which they were taken into. <br/>The inside was completely bare, except for a small chair in the centre of the room. <br/>"Dont mind the smell" The warrior chuckled as he placed Echo down on the floor, She looked over at Raven who was staring blankly in the corner of the room, her face was pale and a unexplainable amount of fear radiated from her tensed up body.</p><p>Echo coughed at the stench and she turned her head around, instantly she regretted her decision. Her throat closed, she placed her hand over her mouth, repulsion filling her veins and her hands trembled. <br/>Her eyes fixated on the maggot infested rotting corpse that laid slumped over in the corner, the pungent stench clung to the walls and the men laughed soullessly. <br/>"Enjoy your stay" one of the warriors chuckled and pushed them down on the floor and left the building, bolting the metal door shut behind them, their raspy voices faded out after a while and then completely disappeared, but they were still close. <br/>Close enough to come back whenever they wanted to inflict more pain and psychological damage onto the pair.</p><p>Echo's heartbeat thudded harshly in her chest, the sound of it boomed in her ears yet the sound muffled as her brain fogged. Her face fell in utter horror and she placed her hand over her mouth as she let out a bloodcurdling scream. Her eyes never moving from the horrific site that corrupted her brain, scarring her and Raven for the foreseeable future.<br/>She had seen her fair share of bodies in her life time, they both had. Yet nothing seemed to prepare them for the psychological torment that came with being isolated with such a nightmarish sight. <br/>The revolting stench that loomed in the air was enough to make Echo start to hyperventilate, and the maggot infested body seemed too unbearable, it was almost unrecognizable, the corpse seemed to be a ball of jelly like mush, seeping into the concrete floors staining the grey colour into a toxic yellow and putrid red.</p><p>Raven clutched onto the concrete floor and her chest heaved for air as she sobbed uncontrollably. Her screams and shouts seemed to be drown out by the sound of Echo's, both of them were in shock. Their bodies trembling and a sickly pale colour washing over their skin, suddenly being snapped out of her dreadful thoughts by the sound of Echo struggling to calm her body down.<br/>Without any hesitation Raven reached out for Echo as she began to pant helplessly for air, yet evidently struggling to do so. <br/>"Breathe.. Echo breathe for me dammit!" Raven held her own breath trying not to inhale the smell and she gripped onto Echo's shoulders tightly. <br/>Her pleads were ignored as Echo seemed to sink further and further into a breakdown.</p><p>Raven slapped Echo on her back trying to shock her into taking a deep breath but it was useless, she quickly moved her left hand onto Echo's nose and clamped her nostrils shut with her index finger and her thumb, completely shutting off half of her oxygen supply hoping that it would shock her into inhaling a deep breath. "ECHO BREATHE!" she screamed out, Echo's face began to turn pink and she tightened her grip on her nose, squeezing harder, Echo's hands clutched onto to the floor and suddenly she inhaled a large breath and held it for a few seconds before exhaling and repeating the process, her body slumped against the floor and Raven placed her hands under Echo's arms and dragged her body over the other side of the room, trying to create as much distance from the body as she could.</p><p>"I..i can't stay here Raven the body.. the smell its.. its too much I cant" Echo panted out and Raven nodded her head, as much as she wanted to reassure her that it would be okay she couldn't, because she didn't know if it would be. They were both trapped, in the middle of a sandy desert without any other civilization, their chances at surviving seemed bleak in the hindsight of things. <br/>Raven gulped down her fear and turned her attention back to Echo who luckily seemed calmer than before, she was still traumatized and if Raven was being honest so was she, she had never seen such a awful sight and considering she had seen radiation burns covering a human from head to toe, she'd seen burnt bodies and people being tortured. However nothing compared to the imagine of the corpse that was now stuck in her brain forever. <br/>"I know Echo, but the others, well they'll save us soon, I promise just breathe and it'll be alright.. you're strong, and.. if anyone is going to get through this itll be us okay? I believe in you.. please believe in me" Raven spoke softly, not wanting to disturb Echo any more than she already was, even though deep down she knew the chances of being found were like trying to find a needle in a haystack she still had a slight bit of hope. <br/>"I believe in you.. Reyes.." Echo whispered, her tone slightly quiet almost inaudible, yet she still managed an attempted smile. <br/>Raven ran her fingers through Echo's hair and silently soothed her until her breaths seemed to slow, returning back to a quick but steadier rate than before.</p><p>Echo closed her eyes, inhaling and exhaling a few breaths, her muscles were tense and she stayed rested against ravens chest for a few moments. She felt nauseous and light headed. Almost like she was floating above her own body, it was like she was trapped inside a nightmare but she was wide awake. This wasn't something she could wake up from, her heart was pounding and sweat trickled down her neck.<br/>She sighed and sat up, moving away from Raven a little once she had composed herself. <br/>"I'm hungry. Its been 2 days" she whispered and clutched onto her stomach as it started to rumble ferociously.<br/>Raven swallowed her saliva and looked down at her own stomach, finally becoming aware of the intense hunger pains she was feeling. <br/>"Me too. Come here." she whispered and sat back against the back wall of the hut they were in, Raven held her arms out and Echo smiled lightly, she made her way over to her and wrapped her own arms around Raven, the comfort from the simplest form of intimacy being the only form of warmth and slight happiness they could get at the moment.</p><p>Raven gazed around the darkening room, trying to ignore the intense amount of terror that was rooted deep inside of her. Her thoughts were running wild, she really wasn't looking forward to playing whatever sick and twisted game her kidnappers wanted to play. <br/>In the grand scheme of things, she knew whatever they wanted her to 'play' would be the most sickening thing she's ever done. It's not like they had any choice either, it was either comply and live, or disobey and die. As much as it might hurt her, not being back with Clarke would hurt her a lot more. <br/>They wouldn't let them win, it was clear their kidnappers wanted to kill them both but for some reason they were holding back, but they knew they couldn't give in.</p><p>"What's that?" Raven questioned as a quiet hissing noise came from the corner of the room, Echo looked over at the area it was coming from and instantly tightened her grip on Ravens arm, a yellow fog began to fill the room and she held onto Echo. <br/>Soon enough they were both knocked unconscious, the yellow fog swarming their lungs like cancer. <br/>Their bodies were moved from the hut and transported over a small hill to a building that was built out of iron, they were tied up by their wrists and a spiked collar was placed onto their throats to prevent them from moving so much. <br/>An Azgedakru medic inserted a needle into Ravens arm and hooked up a tube which quickly filled up with her blood, he then hooked up her body to a machine and he filled up two needles with a dark blue substance. <br/>He repeated the same procedure to Echo, her blood filled the tube and the machines beeped as they finally started to pick up their heart rate.</p><p>He pierced their veins with a needle and slowly injected the blue substance into their blood stream. <br/>Almost immediately Raven woke up, her pupils dilated fully and her arms trembled. <br/>A loud pant came from beside her as Echo jolted awake. <br/>The medic growled in celebration and he pulled the needles out their arms. <br/>"What.. what is it" Raven choked out, her mouth filled with foam and she spat it out. Her body felt weightless. <br/>The medic looked over at her with a patronising smile. His hand gripped onto another needle and he jabbed it into her arm, injecting another liquid into her. <br/>"Just.. a little something"</p><p>Echo gripped onto the medical chair harshly, her body trembled and then stopped suddenly as the medic contaminated her blood stream with another tube of liquid. <br/>"What is it you freak!" Raven yelled and he shook his head, anger evident in the medics eyes, she screamed in agony as the healing skin on her stomach wound was ripped off, blood poured down her stomach, pooling on the floor below her seat. <br/>The medic took off his mask and apron, throwing the items into a small trash bin. He walked over to a container which looked somewhat like a fridge and pulled out two bags which were filled with a thick black liquid, he flicked on the lights and made his way back over to them both. A woman entered the room and grabbed one of the bags from the medics hands, she hooked it up on a pole next to Echo's head and connected the tube to the Intravenous cannula that was still in her left arm.</p><p>Her eyes widened and she turned around, the spikes on the collar jabbed into her throat and she gripped onto the arm of the chair in agony. <br/>"Night-blood-" she whispered and Raven thrashed around on the chair.<br/>Raven moved her hand over to the IV and attempted to pull it out, the medic gripped onto her hand and strapped her hand down on the chair with a cable tie. <br/>"Now now calm down.. don't panic" he whispered. <br/>"You psychopath" Echo whispered earning a slap around the face from the woman. <br/>The medic hummed and ushered the woman to exit the room, he sat down in front of them and tapped his fingers against the arm of his chair. His legs crossed and he leant back, a smug smile across his deluded face. <br/>"We needed test subjects and the king wanted some... toys" he murmured, unable to pull his face away from their terrified faces, he stood up from the chair and gazed at their heart rate monitors, a sick laugh coming from his lips as their heart rates spiked to 180bpm, he quickly unplugged the machines and hooked up another bag of Night-blood to their IV lines.</p><p>Raven let out a uncomfortable groan and she looked up at the ceiling, the image of the medic made her want to hurl up the non existent contents of her stomach.<br/>A knock came from the door, the medic turned around and nodded at the woman who opened the door obediently. <br/>Echo watched the figure enter the room intently, her stomach turned and she clenched her fists. <br/>The man approached her and she pursed her lips and spat in the man's face "leave me alone." She whispered and kicked him in the shin, he grunted and dug his filthy finger nails into her shoulder. <br/>"Nice to see you too.. Echo" he smirked and she looked away, turning her body around disregarding the intense pain that came from her neck as she did so. <br/>"Ah! How's the transfusion coming along Lucile?" The man asked with a smile and the medic turned to face him with the same twisted smile that he had. The medic held up two empty bags that once contained Night-blood and then slung them down into the fly infested bin.</p><p>"King Roan they'll be ready for you to use as you please in a few hours, the drug Ompolytrini helped their bodies accept the blood instantly.. just like I thought it would"<br/>Raven swallowed thickly and turned around at the mention of king Roan, she looked over at him and then turned away feeling repulsed. <br/>"What fun this will be" Roan spoke, his voice harsh as he slowly made his way over to Raven, his eyes studied the wounds on her body and he leant down, tracing his fingers along the tender areas, his eyes moved down to the wound on her stomach and delight filled his face as a trickle of black blood ran down her stomach.<br/>"Take them down to the fighting pits when they're done" he mumbled and the medic nodded.</p><p>King Roan exited the room and the doors swung shut behind him. <br/>"Fighting pits? What for?" Raven questioned and the medic huffed in annoyance, clearly not in the mood to answer any of her questions, after all its not like they cared anyway. They could do anything they wanted to them and neither Echo or Raven could do anything about it even if they tried. <br/>Lucile looked away, he rubbed his neck and squeezed on the blood bag beside Raven, the sudden pressure caused the blood to enter her bloodstream at such force it made her feel even more nauseous than before. She heaved lightly and placed her free hand over her stomach, cold black blood coating her palm. She frowned and looked back up at the medic.<br/>"Why is it cold?" She whispered and he began to laugh hysterically, His eyes darted over to Echo and raised his brows. <br/>Echo sighed and looked over at Raven. "Night-blood is poisonous to humans who weren't born that way, that's why it's cold.. but he's given us a drug which forces our bodies to accept it.. but our blood will always be cold" she whispered back, a hint of disgust in her tone.</p><p>Lucile removed his spectacles from his eyes and placed them on his forehead as he hooked up another three pints of Night-blood to each IV as the other tube sucked out the remainder of their normal human blood. Cold sweat covered their bodies and he hummed in satisfaction. <br/>"You're going to the fighting pits.. to fight for your life, after that king Roan will use you in any way he wants, Night-blood makes you naturally stronger, but as you've been starved you wont be as strong as king Roan.. so if you try and escape you will fail, and you will be killed regardless" Lucile chuckled again and lightly squeezed on both of the blood bags, forcing the black blood inside their fragile bodies at a quicker rate so they were ready to fight quicker.<br/>"Morgan get them cleaned up" he ripped the IV's out of their arms and slung the empty bags with the others in the bin, he untied Ravens wrist and removed the spiked collars off of their necks.</p><p>The woman pulled Echo up and then grabbed a hold of Ravens hand, she pulled her off the chair and led the both of them out of the room into a spare empty room along the corridor. <br/>Raven pulled her arm away and she stood next to Echo, the cold blood rushed around her body and she gripped onto the wall for stability. <br/>Morgan leant forwards, she handed Raven a black bra and a pair of black shorts, which she changed into being a little grateful for the change of fresh clothes. <br/>Echo changed into her clothes as well which were identical to Ravens. The clothes didn't fit at all but they were better than the gross undergarments that they were wearing before.</p><p>The girl lunged forward, her fists clenched and headed directly towards Ravens face. She quickly dodged the punch and pushed the girl back with all her strength, she looked down as the girl stumbled backwards, her legs buckling as she fell down to the floor. <br/>After a few moments she rose from the floor with a smirk on her face. "You're ready lets go" she hissed and grabbed Echo and Raven by the wrist, she dug her bony fingers into their bruised skin insuring that they wouldn't run away. <br/>Raven and Echo were led down a set of stairs, loud cheering and shouting boomed from behind a doorway and Raven gulped down a lump in her throat, she looked up at Echo who gazed down at her at the same time. Fear evident in both of their faces.</p><p>The door opened and a cool breeze flowed out of the room, screaming Azgedakru citizens were stood around a caged fence around the fighting pit, they were shoved through the door and Morgan slammed the door shut behind them. <br/>The floor was ice cold and rough on their tender feet and the crowds voices were overwhelmingly loud. <br/>A loud voice came from the other side of the fighting pit and Raven looked up, a warrior stood in front of them dressed in fighting gear and a large sword placed in his hands, they took a hesitant step forward as he introduced them to the crowd. <br/>"Monin Reivon kom Skaikru en Echo kom Azgedakru banau by roan"<br/>The crowd booed and King Roan entered the fighting pits with two swords, he handed them to Raven and Echo and looked them both up and down with a smirk on his face.</p><p>"If you win... you live.. you lose.. you die" he stated and the crowd cheered loudly, he exited the fighting pit and made his way over to his throne that sat on a balcony overlooking the arena. <br/>A second warrior entered the fighting pit and stood behind them, in the opposite position that the other warrior was in, the warriors drew their swords and held it so the blade was pointing outwards. <br/>Raven's and Echo's eyes met. <br/>"If I die.. tell Clarke I love her" Raven whispered and Echo shook her head "you aren't dying... tell her yourself now don't let me die and I won't let you die" she whispered back and King Roan yelled that the fight had begun. <br/>They clutched onto the swords and Raven turned so she was facing the second warrior, Echo faced the first and drew her sword pointing the sharp end toward him.</p><p>Raven blinked and the crowd yelled louder, adrenaline burst through her veins and she quickly moved out of the way as the warrior charged toward her, his sword clashing against hers as she swung it in front of her.<br/>She inhaled a deep breath and drew her sword back, luring him closer to herself. She stood back and their swords clashed together again, she yelped in pain as the warrior kicked her in the stomach causing her to tumble backwards and hit the ground harshly. <br/>She quickly jumped back onto her feet and her chest inflated and deflated quickly as she panted for breath. <br/>Her body was overwhelmed in pain from her previous torture from the day before, yet her face was numb even though she felt every single emotion all at once.</p><p>Raven turned around and the warrior smirked at her, she frowned a little and swung the sword upwards, she quickly clutched onto the warriors sword as he swung it towards her, the sharp metal dug into her palm and blood dripped down onto the floor. <br/>She grunted and kicked him backwards knocking him down to the floor, she looked over at Echo was clashing her sword against the warriors. <br/>She turned her attention back to the warrior on the floor and she stumbled over to him, she placed her foot down on his chest and tears sprung to her eyes. <br/>A small pain coming from her stomach as his sword was digging into her flesh. <br/>"Yu gonplei ste odon" she whispered and swung her sword forward, piercing the sword through his chest instantly killing him on the spot.</p><p>A yell came from the corner of the room and Raven turned around, carefully removing her sword from the warriors chest. Echo tumbled on top of her warrior and held her sword to his throat, she had black blood streaming from her arm were he had stabbed her moments before, she held her sword against his and screamed again. <br/>Raven limped over to the two and stabbed her sword into his left arm, he instantly let go of his sword and Echo slit his throat with hers, he began to choke up on his blood and it ran out of his lips.<br/>"Yu gonplei ste odon" Echo mumbled as she climbed up from his chest and looked down at the floor as the crowd went eerily silent apart from King Roan who whistled creepily and got up from his throne and entered the fighting pit within seconds. <br/>He gripped onto their arms and lifted them up into the air, the crowd cheered immediately and King Roan whistled, guards entered the room and escorted Raven and Echo out of the fighting pit and up the stairs, both of their bodies falling to the ground as everything went black.</p>
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<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Hope.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Clarke and the Others gain knowledge on Raven and Echo's whereabouts, they also manage to get some key information on how they are.</p><p>"Carry on Lexa I know you're hiding something" Clarke muttered, She leant back on the chair and looked over at her impatiently. <br/>Octavia nodded in agreement and crossed her arms waiting for her to continue. <br/>"The bunker was hidden beneath some bushes, after searching the inside we believe Raven and Echo were kept inside"</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>please leave kudos and comments as i love to read what you guys love about the story!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>21st June 2145</p><p>"Clarke are you ready?" She pulled on her jacket and turned to face Octavia who stood leaning against the door frame of Clarke's room, She placed her boots onto her feet and nodded her head. <br/>"Ready as ill ever be" she replied and grabbed her knife, she slid it into the leather knife holder on her belt and walked past Octavia out of her room. <br/>Her head felt so heavy as she hadn't been able to sleep properly since Raven and Echo had been kidnapped, not to mention everything just seemed wrong without them at camp, the usual hot summer weather was now dark, cold and rainy. <br/>The rain drizzled down over the ark and Clarke mounted the brown horse which had come to collect her and Octavia to take them to polis to discuss a plan of action with Lexa and the other commanders since Indra had insisted that they all helped with the rescue mission. <br/>Octavia mounted the second horse and they trotted out of the camp and toward polis. <br/>"What did Lexa say?" Clarke mumbled with no emotion in her voice. She hated Lexa for abandoning her at mount weather, but she hated her even more for using her to rescue her people.</p><p>Octavia dug her heels into the side of her horse making it speed up, Clarke's horse hurried and matched her pace. <br/>"Indra told her that Azgedakru attacked our people as a threat to both Skaikru and Trikru, Lexa ordered a meeting with the 12 clans this morning however Azgedakru didn't show, they are under investigation and if they are found guilty of kidnapping Raven and Echo then they will burn..." She stated and Clarke furrowed her brows and nodded her head. No matter how much she hated Lexa she was glad she was willing to help, they could easily cover five times the amount of ground with the help of the 12 clans.</p><p>"Jus drein jus daun" Clarke mumbled <br/>As they got closer to polis the tall sky scraper came into view, she looked over at Octavia and let out a small sigh. <br/>Trikru villagers rushed out of their way allowing them to pass through with their horses. <br/>Small huts and market stalls filled with fresh crops and other convenient things for every day purpose sat on the edge of the streets, small children ran around happily playing with their friends and lovers held onto each other showcasing their feelings for each other. <br/>She carefully dismounted her horse and patted it gently on its back, a young boy approached and Clarke recognised him immediately. "Aden, watch the horses for me? Take them to the stables" she smiled a little and ruffled his hair up, he gripped onto the horses reigns and pulled them over to the stables.</p><p>Octavia smiled a little and quirked her eyebrows, she pointed over at Aden and then looked back at Clarke as they started to walk.<br/>"You know Aden? He's a little rascal.. he wanted to spar with me a couple of weeks ago. You should of seen Lexa's face she looked so jealous i would have payed money to video it.. She didn't speak to me for a week after" she chuckled and Clarke laughed as she walked into the main entrance of the polis tower. <br/>Clarke scrunched her face up as one of Lexa's personal guards approached them. "Heda is waiting.. Clarke kom skaikru" Titus spoke and he gestured towards her throne room, she walked into the room with Octavia on her right hand side. <br/>Lexa rose from her seat and bowed her head in respect for the pair who entered her throne room.</p><p>"Please sit the we have a lot to talk about" Lexa's voice trailed off and she sat down on the end of a large table and placed her hands on top of the surface. <br/>Clarke nodded and she sat down on one of the chairs next to Octavia. <br/>Clarke looked over at her and leant her head onto her right hand, she placed her other hand onto the table also and cleared her throat.<br/>Lexa sighed a little. "Clarke, Octavia.. I assume you were already aware of the chat I had earlier with the twelve clans, azgedakru however didn't show. I also scouted the forest yesterday with warriors of my own, footprints were found along the perimeter of the forest like you said Clarke.. but well we also found the same footprints five miles south my scouts followed and we found a bunker.." she paused, hesitation evident in her tone clearly not wanting to continue with her story.</p><p>Octavia glanced at Clarke and then back at Lexa. <br/>"Carry on Lexa I know you're hiding something" Clarke muttered, She leant back on the chair and looked over at her impatiently. <br/>Octavia nodded in agreement and crossed her arms waiting for her to continue. <br/>"The bunker was hidden beneath some bushes, after searching the inside we believe Raven and Echo were kept inside, there was blood over the floor and two sets of handcuffs.. the foot prints go west from the bunker into the desert I have Sangedakru warriors scouting the area as we speak but the desert is large and there's no way to cover that much ground in a day.. ice nation have moved locations to a new one, when we find Roan he will be arrested by my royal guard and if we find them first he will be killed by me"</p><p>Clarke began to tear up as Lexa claimed she might have a lead on the location of Raven and Echo, tears rolled down her cheeks and she clutched onto the table tightly. The thought of her girlfriend being ruthlessly tortured made her feel physically sick. However the small amount of hope she had before was getting bigger. <br/>"If Sangedakru are out looking then why can't we look? Why can't I be the one searching for her" She questioned and Lexa looked over at her sympathetically. <br/>"Because Clarke.. you're no use to her dead, you can stay in polis until tomorrow.. I can send riders out to arkadia to collect some of your friends if you'd like but if we're going into azgeda we need to be careful. I have spies there at the moment, Azgedakru have a fight tournament at the moment so my spies are there watching" Lexa rose from her chair and brushed her hands together.</p><p>Clarke got up from her seat and Octavia stood up as well. "Collect Murphy and Emori from arkadia" she glanced at Octavia and then tilted her head to the side. "And Lincoln" <br/>Lexa nodded her head and walked out of the room, ordering one of her guards to send riders out to collect the blondes friends from their home, she also sent out a rider to collect Lincoln from his cave. <br/>Clarke walked along the hall and entered a small unused room at the end of the corridor.</p><p>Octavia walked in after her and she sat down on the edge of the bed. <br/>She leant back on her hands and looked up at Octavia who was now staring out at polis through the window. <br/>"I'm surprised you took that so well Clarke I mean, when Lincoln was at the drop ship, when he was being.. well hurt I felt like I was losing my mind and then he was attacked again and Clarke I couldn't breathe without him" she sighed and Clarke patted the edge of the bed next to her.</p><p>Octavia quickly rushed over and sat down on the bed and wrapped her left arm around Clarkes back. <br/>The blonde chuckled a little and nudged her shoulder gently. <br/>"I'm surprised too but Octavia she's so strong, you heard what her parents used to do to her. She survived so much on the ark and she risked her life to come down to earth on her own with no word on how safe it really was, she lost her boyfriend within a few months of being here and she injured her leg which basically tarnished her career and I know she can survive this so can Echo and surprisingly I still have hope" she spoke calmly and looked out the window herself, the stunning view of polis seemed to calm her nerves and worries even more. <br/>Clarke leant against the window frame and bit down on her bottom lip. <br/>It had been exactly 3 days and 12 hours since Echo And Raven had been taken, 3 days since her life had stopped and began to crumble completely. She was already stressed enough with trying to keep on the bumpy road of her anorexia recovery but having the extra stress of her girlfriend being kidnapped was making the whole situation overwhelming.</p><p>She knew she had to carry on fighting her own head even though her number one supporter could be.. Well dead. "I'm starved lets get food" Clarke mumbled to Octavia as she walked out of the small room and towards the buffet hall which was always stocked with the best food Clarke had ever eaten. Smoked sausages, burgers, eggs and the most heavenly fruit all laid out on tables for whoever was hungry. <br/>"What's going on in that head of yours Clarke?" Octavia asked as she filled her plate with delicious food and a hot mug of freshly ground coffee, she knew something was bothering Clarke and she knew it was best if she talked to her instead of allowing Clarke to worry herself out. <br/>Clarke wondered over to a free table and sat down, Octavia sat down next to her and Clarke took a bite of her eggs and swallowed it down eagerly before starting to speak.</p><p>"Its just on the ark I used to fantasize about earth, the breath taking blue seas, soft sand and the cute wildlife and beautiful plants.. the evergreen forests. I thought being down here would be peaceful but it's been nothing but. And Octavia we all know how hostage situations turn out we've all read the stories and watched the films, none of them turn out well.. even if she's alive we don't know what she's going through? What they are making her do just to survive, I mean she's a small girl and I bet she's not even been given food for 3 days.. I can't stop picturing the worst and I have hope that we will find her I really do, I won't stop until we do find her but I just need her back" <br/>She sighed a little and took a sip of her water, Octavia nodded her head understandingly and swallowed the food she had in her mouth.</p><p>"I know, I mean.. I don't know specifically how you feel but I'm scared too, I've lived in fear my whole childhood and when they told me I would be going to earth I was so happy, it was finally my chance to be free and not just be the girl under the floor but now that were here in this place we know nothing about I sometimes wish I was back under the floor, life was simple.. I had a specific time slot to be afraid of the big bad men that had the ability to kill me and my mother but now I'm always afraid.. but im also happy Clarke, I'm so happy that I've got you. I've got my people and I've met the love of my life, you're my family.. and so is Reyes and Echo.. and family sticks together"</p><p>Octavia smiled a little and continued to eat her food as did Clarke. <br/>"I'm glad I've got you Octavia.. even though your brother is a little bit of a jerk, no offence he does love you deep down you know? And I'm afraid too but knowing I have friends like you, Emori, Echo, Lincoln and god forbid Murphy well it makes me realise how lucky we are.. we're alive.. here. We have a second chance and like hell are we going to waste it" <br/>Clarke pushed her empty plate away from her and stood up as One of Lexa's guards informed her that Murphy and Emori had arrived and were waiting in Lexa's throne room. <br/>She sighed and linked her arm with Octavia's as they both walked out of the food hall and back down the corridor into Lexa's throne room. <br/>"Any news?" Murphy asked as he turned around to face the two girls who entered the room arms intertwined.</p><p>Clarke walked over to him and wrapped him in a hug, letting go a few moments later. She nodded her head and gestured towards the table. <br/>They all sat down beside the table on the chairs and Clarke let out a small sigh. <br/>"Lexa said her guards found a bunker 5 miles south from the edge of the forest, filled with blood and some handcuffs. More foot prints let out from there the foot prints go west from the bunker into the desert, they've also sent Sangedakru warriors out to scout the area" <br/>Emori sighed in slight relief and squeezed Murphy's hand tightly, still there was a glimmer of sadness and despair in her eyes, but either of them compared to the fear that was evident on her face. <br/>Octavia smiled at her sympathetically and looked over at the door as Lexa entered the room quickly and made her way over to the table with a few of her guards "I have news" she stated and they all looked up at her as she lowered herself down into her chair.</p><p>"Leave the room" she ordered at her guards and they all swiftly exited the room without question, as soon as they left Lexa cleared her throat and looked over at Lincoln and the others. <br/>"I have some.. Intel from the fight tournament my spies went to watch earlier, as I guessed King Roan is guilty, he's guilty of treason of the highest count.. what my spies have told me is quite distressing, from what you have told me about Raven and Echo we are firm believers that King Roan has them in his custody. They also informed me that your two friends were the ones who were fighting at the tournament today, both of them against two warriors however they weren't just fighting to win, they were fighting to survive. It's a out dated azgeda tradition used to reduce the prison populations when I became commander I forced them to abolish it completely.. It's clear they didn't. <br/>Raven and Echo were badly cut and they were malnourished, King Roan is keeping them alive but we don't know how long they have left"</p><p>Clarke gasped and curled her legs up on the chair, her eyes glued to her knees and she shook her head as she pictured her friend and girlfriend fighting for their lives being forced to fight and kill, she knew how horrendous the aftermath of killing someone was and now they would be forced to deal with the consequences, she tilted her head to the side and inhaled a few breaths as she composed herself. Not wanting to look as weak and fragile as was feeling in front of the commander. <br/>Clarke gazed over at Emori who was shaking in anger, her fists were clenched and the tension in her jaw was obvious. <br/>Murphy stood up instantly and stumbled over to Emori, he placed his hands on his girlfriends shoulders and planted a tender kiss on the top of her head, his fingers rubbed into her muscles soothingly and she leant back, slowly relaxing herself, freeing her mind of the worries she had. <br/>"We ride in an hour it'll take a day by horse, Octavia take them to the weaponry get them in armour and get them a weapon, tell Indra we need 12 warriors ready for battle and mounted on the finest horses for dusk"</p><p>The five quickly made their way down to the weaponry and suited up in steal armour from head to toe, heavy <br/>Chain mail and fur shirts were pulled onto their bodies by Lexa's tailors and her very own weapons master handpicked swords and knives for them all, individually tailoring to all of their needs. <br/>"Yu are Ogeda don dula" the weapons master bowed his head respectfully and Clarke thanked him gratefully in trigedasleng for all he had done for them.<br/>Clarke made her way over to Emori and she placed her hand on Emori's arm as a sign of unity, Emori did the same and she smiled weakly. "We'll get them back" she whispered and Emori nodded her head in agreement. <br/>Lincoln glanced over at Clarke and tapped her on the shoulder "we need to go" he whispered and they all left the weaponry with extreme urgency to save their friends from King Roans ruthless hands.</p><p>It was time.</p><p>The group of them along with Lexa and her guards mounted their horses and began their journey towards polis, the cold stormy air battered against their skin and the horses neighed unhappily at the gloomy weather. It wasn't unusual to have harsh summer storms now on earth as the global warming had massively increased since the earth ended all those years ago, the weather was very unpredictable and so were the people who lived there. <br/>Clarke used to believe King Roan was a highly respectable man, after meeting him before mount weather he seemed nice, lovely even. The respect he had for Lexa was clear back then but after skaikru joined the Clans and the Coalition was created he lost all the respect he had for Heda and the other clans and forced azgedakru to find a new location far away from Polis. <br/>The only way they could stop King Roan was by killing him, but even death seemed to be a nicer end to his life than he deserved.</p><p>If it was up to Skaikru they would give him the death he was meant to have, torture him like he tortured Raven and Echo, make him physically fight for his life and make<br/>Him endure that much pain that eventually he would beg them to end his life, however Lexa was the one who wanted to end his life for betraying her and breaking the coalition.</p><p>The horses slowed down their pace and eventually came to a sudden halt in a clearing, the night sky was dark and cloudy preventing the moonlight from lighting up their path. <br/>"We stay here until the storm is over Lexa ordered as they all climbed off their horses and took shelter underneath the thick oak trees from the storm that was slowly getting worse.</p><p>They had planned to make the journey to Azgeda without stopping to give them a quicker journey, but it seemed the weather had another ideas. Making their journey longer than they wanted as they were forced to stop until the storm passed. Clarke just hoped the storm would have passed before morning, if not they would have to Wait out longer as the horses refused to walk in the storm and it would be safer to stay put. And, of course, even if they had continued in the storm they wouldn't be able to fight to the best of their abilities if they were exhausted. <br/>The rain poured down from the sky harder and the wind bashed against their tents harshly as they slept, the thunder banging loudly causing the horses to jolt and neigh loudly in terror, ignoring the interruptions to their night they all slept soundly, trying their best to get as much rest as they possibly could as they knew they would need more energy than normal tomorrow. <br/>Clarke slept with Octavia and Lincoln, cuddled up to the both of them for warmth as the night grew colder than usual. They had shared a bed multiple times in the past on camping trips but usually Raven was there with Them, it wasn't unusual for the whole group to sleep together when the weather was harsh and bitter, that way they could save electricity and not waste it on heating all their rooms up at night.</p><p>As dawn arrived the storm had gone and the sun had started to rise, the tents were all packed away and slung on one of the spare horses which carried all their belongings, the guards cooked them all a light breakfast of grains from the woods and a cooked fresh rabbit that they had caught in one of their traps in the night, once they were all finished eating and the horses had been fed they all mounted their horses once more and rode on. <br/>Lexa went through the plan on which they would follow once they arrived at azgeda, Lincoln and Lexa would take out the guards on the front of King Roans new 'palace', Emori and Murphy would take the side entrance and take down all the guards on the first floor silently with Lexa and Lincoln's help making sure to not make even a small amount of sound incase they drew attention to themselves, after all the guards were taken out on the first floor Octavia and Clarke would take the back entrance and meet them all on the second floor. Then they would split up, Lexa and Lincoln would take down Roan and her royal guards would take Roan back to Polis for punishment, the rest of the group and the 6 warriors would then go off and track down Raven and Echo, taking down anyone who tried to stop them from doing so.</p><p>Once Echo and Raven were safe they would all be transported back to Arkadia in a wagon with the protection of Indra's warriors that would be waiting on the Polis border for their return from Azgeda, when they were back at camp they would be checked out instantly for any injuries and for each injury they had either physical or mental King Roan would receive double that amount in stab wounds until eventually he would bleed out, his body would be burnt back at azgeda along with his 'palace' and azgedakru would be ordered to either join Lexa as part of trikru or be killed and burnt along with King Roans corpse. <br/>As they finally arrived in Azgeda they all split up in their groups and climbed off their horses, weapons drawn. <br/>Ready to get their friends back and do whatever it took to do so.</p>
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<a name="section0015"><h2>15. The needle and the damage done.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Raven and Echo spend another day enduring King Roans torture. <br/>They slowly begin to give up hope, will their friends find them before the damage becomes too much? </p><p>"What.. happened" she croaked out, the agony she felt right now was slowly becoming numb as the drugs infected her blood stream, although it was a relief that the pain was subsiding the reason behind it made her stomach swirl in disgust.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter includes some torture/ non consensual drug use. <br/>Also includes some reference of rape but it isn't graphic. </p><p>If you like this chapter please leave a comment and kudos! </p><p>Also maybe comment on what you would lile to see in the future.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>22nd June 2145</p><p>Raven wasn't exactly sure how she had ended up down on the cold floor of King Roans room. Her body ached horrendously and Echo was gripping onto her like her life depended on It. <br/>The beating of her heart echoed through her ears and she groaned as she slowly sat up, her eyes fixated onto the needle marks in her arms and she lightly traced her finger tips over the bruises. <br/>"What.. happened" she croaked out, the agony she felt right now was slowly becoming numb as the drugs infected her blood stream, although it was a relief that the pain was subsiding the reason behind it made her stomach swirl in disgust. <br/>She knew whatever she had been through Echo had been through the same thing, the numb look in Echos eyes was the only confirmation that Raven needed. <br/>The physical pain wasnt the worst pain she felt, it was the mental pain. It felt as if her head was on fire, she knew something had happened to her when she was unconscious but she couldnt remember, just like she couldn't remember King Roan injecting her with the drugs again but that had happened, she had physical proof of that.</p><p>Something was missing, something she felt like once she knew what it was she would want to forget it all over again. <br/>"I don't know Raven" Echo whispered. <br/>Raven opened her mouth to speak, then shut it again, she pursed her lips and glanced over at the door which opened with a sudden bang. <br/>Roan's guard stood in the door way with a slight look of concern, however the look went away and immediately got replaced with a smirk. <br/>"Ladies The King wants some entertainment.. another fight I assume" He looked down at his shoes and reluctantly they both stood up, their legs felt extremely weak and their bodies ached due to being malnourished, in the 4 days that they had been captured they had only been given water and absolutely no food. Which wasn't particularly surprising to either of them. </p><p>As they entered the fighting pit ravens was breathing in short puffs of air. <br/>She knew she should have been trying to escape or atleast trying harder to stop her torture but she felt weak, numb almost. She had already came to terms with her fate, it was worthless trying to prevent it. <br/>The room was silent, apart from the light clatter of the swords that her and Echo were using to fight against a retired warrior that had apparently disobeyed king roans orders, already nobody was watching them fight this time apart from King Roan the room was empty. </p><p>Blood splattered out of Ravens thigh as the warrior slashed through her skin, penetrating her leg straight through to the other side. She let out a loud cry and gripped onto her sword harder, her fingers turning almost white from the amount of pressure. Her heart was beating erratically, and the pain did not subdue, she gritted her teeth together and charged forward. <br/>Echo gripped onto the warriors shoulders from behind, her eyes glued shut trying to block out her current situation, raven inhaled a short breath and sliced open the man's throat with her sword, blood gurgled out of his throat pooling onto the pale floor. <br/>A loud roar erupted from King Roans lips and Echo groaned at the sound, barely having the energy to suppress how she truly felt towards the man. <br/>"Yu gonplei ste odon" Echo carefully took the sword away from the deceased man's grip and raven crouched down, her face full of sorrow and guilt, she knew that if she didn't kill the warrior he would have killed them both without a second thought but it still didn't mean what they did was right, the warrior was fighting for his life as much as they were.</p><p>Nobody had a choice, kill or be killed. <br/>"I'm sorry" Raven whispered, her hands moved onto his face and she pulled his eyelids down gently closing his eyes, her breath caught in her throat as she placed both of his hands ontop of him, placing his left palm ontop of his right hand. "I'm so sorry" she whispered once again as Echo pulled her up from the ground. <br/>Their eyes widened as another warrior entered the arena, faces dropping at the realisation that they had to repeat the whole ordeal once again.<br/>Echo's body hurt beyond belief. The list of injuries she had seemed endless - a broken rib, gashes on her thigh, cheek, back and along her left arm, concussion. <br/>Her heart was weaker than ever before and she was pretty sure her and Raven both had infected wounds which would require medical attention when.. if they were ever saved. </p><p>"If you don't kill him.. I Will" King Roan announced from the stands looking directly at the two girls, he then looked over at his prisoner with a evil smile. <br/>"And if you don't try and kill them.. ill do it.. then I'll kill you" he chuckled and sat back down, both of his guards were silent, almost speechless from his words. <br/>Raven knew that any death was better than the death King Roan would give them, it was common knowledge that he tortured people for days on end until he finally showed them mercy by putting them out of their misery and killed them. <br/>The fight ended up exactly like the last one, Echo and Raven ended up with a few severe injuries like sprained bones and more deep wounds in their skin. Whereas the prisoner ended up dead on the floor next to their previous opponent, Raven brushed her left palm over his face and closed his eyes and the usual phrase was mumbled in a more numbed tone than before. </p><p>King Roan rose up from his chair and raised his hands in the air, gesturing for the guards to take his hostages back to his room, the guards complied and did as they were told, they bought both girls back up to his chambers and slung them both on the floor. <br/>The medic lucile entered quickly after the guards left with some blue vials in his grasp, for once he had a small amount of guilt across his face when neither of them fought back. <br/>The needles punctured through their skin and pierced their veins, the blue Ompolytrini infected their blood stream for the second time that day and their pupils grew larger as soon as the remainder of the vial was pushed into their veins. </p><p>He looked down at the woman who were trembling on the floor from the higher dose of the drug and he backed away as soon as their screaming started. Due to the higher dose it was affecting their bodies differently than the other doses they had experienced, at first it didn't really hurt it just felt like a major adrenaline rush with a rough decline after the initial high had worn down, the second time they were knocked unconscious for so they weren't aware of the impact it had on their bodies, but Lucile saw it first hand, it had triggered seizures and vomiting however after half an hour the symptoms went away and they were fine. </p><p>The third time was a much higher dose, about four hours after they had had the second dose, King Roan demanded that they were knocked out after their first time in the fighting pit so they wouldn't wake up for a while after, Lucile didn't know why he wanted them unconscious but he assumed it was because he didn't want them escaping, what he didn't know was the real much darker reason behind King Roans orders. </p><p>The women screamed, yelled, cursed and screamed some more. It was like the drug was killing them from the inside out, their organs felt like they were on fire, slowly being torched by a bare flame. It was a hellish pain. <br/>Lucile opened his mouth, then shut it. He shook his head and left the room, he knew the girls wouldn't go down without a fight but sooner or later the fight would be too much for them and that was evident from their actions. Neither of them seemed to fight back against getting the drug injected into them this time, whether that was due to exhaustion, fear or they had just given up he wasn't sure. Or maybe it was a mixture of all three. </p><p>Sweat was starting to bead on Echos forehead and Ravens jaw was visibly tensed. Their bodies shook violently and ravens eyes rolled to the back of her head. She felt backwards and Echo copied her movements seconds later, their minds shut off, eyes closed and they laid limp on the floor. Unconscious and completely helpless and vulnerable. <br/>They spent the next few hours in and out of consciousness, unable to control how their bodies reacted to the harsh chemicals. <br/>They would be awake for a few seconds to a few minutes but it was enough to make out a blurry shape of their torture above them; the drugs messed with their eyesight extremely, it was common sense that whatever King Roan was doing to them he didn't want them to be awake for the duration of it, he wanted to be in control of their bodies, he wanted to manipulate them and leave them completely mentally and physically drained. He was succeeding at all of his wishes. </p><p>The pair of them were slowly giving up hope on the concept of being rescued, right from the second they were first kidnapped the chances of being found were bleak to say the least, but now. Four days into their torment it seemed more like a fantasy as each second passed. <br/>Even if their friends were trying to find them they didn't have much to go off, if they found the bunker and that's a big if, they wouldn't find anything that would lead them to the second building they stayed in directly in the middle of the desert. Azgedakru had changed location so that would make finding them a even harder challenge, not to mention the fact arkadia had enough worries in the first place, and it's unlikely that the ark would even notice they were gone, sure their friends would notice, but they wouldn't get any help from anyone else on the ark to help them search. <br/>Bellamy was in charge of the soldiers and he definitely wouldn't let the soldiers help out after all he hated Clarke and the others so why would he give them the help. Which would leave Murphy, Emori, Octavia, Lincoln and Clarke to face up to azgedakru and King Roan by themselves without help from Skaikru, there's no way five people would be able to take down all his guards and King Roan in the first place, and it's even more unlikely that anybody knew it was King Roan who kidnapped them anyway. </p><p>The idea of being rescued seemed like a fairy tail, and on earth it had been pretty clear from the start that fairytails werent real. <br/>Each time they raven woke up she felt a urge to scream, a intense pressure was crushing her body from above, it was like she was being winded over and over again and her lower body was full of a pain she couldn't quite explain. Her consciousness only lasted around 5 minutes until the darkness took over again and the pressure and pain slowly faded away into nothingness. <br/>Echo woke up deliriously, asif she was in a slow motioned daze. She bought her hand up to her face and her mouth fell open as dark black blood coated her fingertips and dripped down her palm, her eyes then fell to the blue and purple bruises over her stomach, legs and thighs. She looked over at ravens body, the girl sat up next to her with the same dark evil  bruises covering her body identically to Echos. </p><p>"What happened to us" Raven whispered, her voice was full of confusion and a underlining layer of fear laced her words as they flowed out of her quivering lips. <br/>Echo whimpered, afraidly and weakly, asif she was simply afraid of speaking what she wanted to say, thinking what she wanted to think, she shook her head lightly and laid down again on the floor, she reached out timidly and wrapped her arm around Raven pulling her body closer to her own, their bodies curled together, skin to skin, bone to bone, the comfort they had found in eachothers embrace only days prior seemed small now, basically non existent. Like the life in their bodies were drained and they were left, soulless in a body that no longer belonged to them.</p><p>Many people believe loneliness is because you're alone, but loneliness isn't just that. It's a simple term with many meanings, a college student sat alone in a cafe sipping coffee as they studied or many read a book may seem lonely, yet they might just like being by themselves, the only comforts being from the silky warm liquid being gulped down their throat, warm fluffy sweaters soothing their cold skin. <br/>Many liked being alone, they liked the quiet that came with it. <br/>How much better the silence was than noise, the coffee cup, the table, how much better it is to sit by yourself like a solitary bird flying through the sky, sitting there for hours on end with empty bare objects, the coffee cup, the hollow table, wobbly chair, a clear mind or maybe a messy one, a free heart or a heavy one. Sometimes being by yourself cured loneliness, it gives you time to truly appreciate yourself for yourself, to be free and to not be judged by others. Instead of finding loneliness in being alone you can soo realise you feel less lonesome than you would if you were with others. </p><p>But for Raven and Echo loneliness was the last emotion they wanted to feel, however they was being eaten alive by the silent and painful disease.  <br/>They weren't physically alone, they were holding eachother right now, eyes closed, breathing in the shares oxygen, body to body. Even when they weren't comforting eachother they had Roan and his medic abusing them whenever they got the chance, so they weren't really lonely.. but they were in their heads. <br/>A deep loneliness, it was like death, maybe they would have preferred death to this slow torture, atleast death was quick most of the time and it would be over soon, finally they would be at peace. But no, they weren't at peace now, more like. At war. <br/>The loneliness they felt was mental, no. Not in a crazy way, it was deep inside their brains, suffocating each nerve in their heads relentlessly. <br/>They couldn't take anymore of this feeling, the emptiness, the solitude, deep loneliness and the pain. The memories of happiness and pure bliss seemed like a distant memory, happy faces, full hearts and hopeful eyes were in the past, and the present was dark, hopeless, sad and their hearts were nothing but broken.</p><p>The world around them seemed removed, like they were both lost at sea surrounded by stormy weather and the threat of death around the corner. <br/>They were surrounded by people but they had never felt so alone, like the more company they had the deeper the loneliness crept. <br/>The effects of the drugs slowly began to wear off as their bodies finally got used to the extreme amount that was in their systems, both of them however remained unconscious from the overbearing exhaustion.<br/>Raven's imagination ran wild as she slept off the ompolytrini, she imagined herself sat beside Clarke at the lake, splashing eachother with the cold water while they watched the sun set over their heads. The calmness of the winds blew through their hair causing it to wave messily in its breeze. She could almost hear the soft sound of Clarke calling out her Name, it felt so real, by she knew it wasn't. She didn't really know the different between reality and dreaming anymore, since her worst fears became true it was like she was living in a nightmare only to fall asleep into a nightmare too. </p><p>The pair of them were suffocating in a sealed bottle of terminal sadness, well that's what it felt like anyway. It didn't feel like they had an escape at all, all they felt was grief, pain and sadness for the whole time they had been gone.<br/>They weren't only feeling sadness, infact they had become It. <br/>The sound of Clarke's voice became louder in her mind, goosebumps rose on her back and she kept her eyes glued shut, the both of them ignoring the loud banging and screaming coming from outside the door, to afraid that once they opened their eyes the dreams of their loved ones would disappear and they would be back living in a nightmare once again, with the only escape being when the drugs knocked them both out. </p><p>Raven and Echo quivvered on the floor, both of them had their eyes tightly shut and they curled further into eachother as the door opened with a thud, voices, sobs and the sound of swords clattering around filled the room. <br/>The voices sounded familiar but neither one of them dared to open their eyes, the drugs usually made them hallucinate so the sounds were probably just imaginary. <br/>A heart broken sob came from beside both of the girls, still they didn't move or make an attempt to open their eyes. Frozen in fear they let their bodies be lifted up by whoever the intruders were. <br/>They had now completely given up, their bodies hung lifelessly in the "intruders" arms and they were carefully taken out of the bedroom. <br/>"Its okay we've got you" a voice spoke and Raven scrunched her face up, the softness of the voice and the tone made her want to cry. It sounded just like clarke but this was just a severe hallucination. </p><p>Their bodies thudded uneasily onto a wooden platform, a cold gust of wind swarmed their freezing bodies, they had no idea where they were. <br/>Raven gulped, she curled herself further into herself trying to warm herself up as she was no longer next to Echo. Nothing worked. Her body felt frail, weak, broken. She keot shivering and her body couldn't stop. <br/>She timidly opened her eyes, a blurry flash of blonde and black hair flashed over her body and she closed them again. <br/>"Go away! Don't hurt me!" She screamed and clutched onto her legs, the image of her friends being there with her made her feel even more broken than she already did because she knew they weren't really there. <br/>She heard murmuring and a worried voice, her body was pushed back and she thumped into A familiar frame behind her, immediately she gripped onto Echo's arm. </p><p>Echo was equally as scared as Raven Was, her body was frozen still and she hadn't moved a muscle since she had been placed in whatever contraption she was in. She lightly squeezed Ravens hand, giving the girl some reassurance even though she felt that terrified she could have a heart attack at any moment, the floor they were on began to move and Echo gripped onto her stomach, her nausea flaring up again. <br/>Worry pushed into Ravens thoughts. Wherever they were going it couldn't be good, she knew she had to open her eyes at some point to get a good image of which direction they were headed in. </p><p>Raven felt her shivers worsen, she inhaled a small breath and flickered her eyes open, her mouth fell open with a quiet whimper, her eyes filled with impromptu tears and her throat closed. <br/>A loud sob came from her mouth and tears flowed down from her eyes and down her cheeks. <br/>She was scared, she knew whatever she was seeing wasnt real even if it felt real, she wanted it to be. More than anything. <br/>"Raven... it's okay im here" Clarke whispered as she hesitantly took a step forward, placing her soft warm fingertips over Ravens cheeks in an attempt to soothe her beloved. </p><p>Raven jumped backwards and sobbed harder, the sound of her crying caused Echo to sit up wide eyed. A look of shock washed over her face and she began to cry aswell, Raven moved her hand over her mouth and coughed harshly. Her throat burnt and her dehydration was making it hard for her to cry, yet she couldn't stop. <br/>A pair of hands wrapped around Ravens body and she shook violently. </p><p>Raven opened her mouth to speak but she was still far too scared, she pushed the fear down and shuffled into Clarke's arms, the moment she fell into her arms she knew she wasn't hallucinating. The warmth of the blondes arms and the feeling she got in her heart everytime she was held by Clarke was the indicator that it was all real. They were free. Their friends had saved them both. <br/>Finally she had Clarke's arms wrapped around her, she still felt broken but the happiness seeing Clarke had bought her made her forget about her issues just momentarily. <br/>"Echo?" A voice spoke from behind the crying girl and she turned hesitantly, tears still falling from her eyes as Emori quickly rushed over to her from the other side of the cart and wrapped her arms around her, she jumped in slight fear and then wrapped her own arms around Emori's waist tightly, not wanting to ever let go of her bestfriend. </p><p>"What happened to you both?" Octavia whispered. The question Raven was dreading the most finally got asked, she furrowed her brows and shook her empty feeling head, she started to dissociate from the conversation. She wasn't really engaging in the conversation anyway but now her head felt blank and she felt number than she did before. <br/>She looked over at Echo who was now gazing at the sky blankly.  <br/>Her eyes shut tightly and she unwrapped her arms from Clarke's body and wrapped them around her own chest, sinking further and further into nothingness. <br/>"Nevermind.." Octavia mumbled after a while, guilt in her voice as she realised she had caused both of the girls major discomfort and possible bad thoughts of their time with the dreadful king. </p><p>Both of her friends looked truly awful, their bodies had become thinner than they originally were, they were both naturally slim but it was clear they had been starved, the cuts on their bodies looked evil and infected, the black dried blood covered their frames like dirt and they were both extremely scared and sleep deprived. </p><p>"So.. their nightbloods now" Emori stated in disbelief, she heard lexa groan infront from ontop of her horse, it was evident that Heda was pissed off at that, not the fact that they were nightbloods but the fact that it had happened in the first place, purposefully turning mundanes into sacred nightbloods was against the law, it was something every single clan promised not to do with the penalty of death and their followers being executed along side them if they did it. Which now was the fate of King Roan and his followers, meaning Azgedakru would no longer exist. A culling would happen in a few days, innocent lives such as villagers and children would be taken in by Trikru or one of the other clans but King Roans close friends would face death for not preventing the situation from occurring. </p><p>"Let's talk about this when they are safe in camp in the med bay, they are both distressed and I need to clean them up once we are back" Clarke replied and her friends nodded their heads, heavy silence filling the air around them, Clarke gently placed her hand on Ravens tensed shoulder, she scrunched up her face in sadness and let out a soft sigh, the sight of Raven being in this much distress made her heart physically hurt. <br/>The horses trotted into the gate of camp and the doors shut behind them all, indras 12 warriors stayed on the outside of the gate following Indras orders to protect the two girls at all costs. Lexa however entered the camp as she needed to check how severely hurt the two girls were and she wanted to help Clarke patch them up. </p><p>"Emori can you lift Echo up? Murphy grab Raven for me?" They both nodded their heads and Emori carefully lifted Echo off of the wagon, supporting her body in her arms gently trying her hardest not to hurt any of the injuries on her. Murphy made his way over to Raven as Clarke unlocked the medical room door and entered it with Lexa close behind her, as Murphy walked closer Raven clenched her jaw and moved away quickly, she knew Murphy would never hurt her but no matter how hard she tried to persuade her brain she couldn't help but associate her male friend to the man who kept her hostage. <br/>Murphy took note of her discomfort and moved away, he looked over at Octavia and she nodded her head and carefully walked over to Raven, she scooped her body up off the floor and smiled sympathetically at Murphy as she carried Raven into the medical room.</p><p>Raven was placed onto a medical bed she immediately shuffled up to the top of it and curled up into a ball, her knees pulled up to her chest and she rested her face on her knees. Loud sobs came from her lips and she slammed her fists into the pillows on the bed multiple times, she screamed weakly and scrunched her fists around the sheets. Gasping for breath as all her oxygen left her body from her screams and sobs. <br/>"Lay still.. you're okay" Octavia soothed and jumped away as Raven screamed once again, her hands moved and she tightly gripped onto her hair. <br/>"No..no I'm not! I'm not alright! Make it stop!" She yelled and looked over at her friends pleadingly, begging as hard as she could for her pain to stop. <br/>She wanted it all to stop, for the first time in forever she felt like she wanted life itself to stop. </p><p>Clarke let out a small breath, she filled a needle with anaesthetic and Octavia carefully grabbed onto ravens arm, steadying it as Clarke injected the liquid into her already bruised up veins. <br/>A tear rolled down Clarke's cheek as she knocked Raven unconscious with the drugs, she didn't want to do it but it was the only way she could keep Raven calm enough to stitch up her wounds and clean her up.<br/>"Octavia carefully wipe her down and Lexa could you stitch up Echo as Emori cleans her up?" Clarke asked softly and the three women agreed an started to do what Clarke asked. </p><p>Lexa gently began to stitch up Echos wounds once Emori had cleaned them up, it was unusual to see a soft side go Lexa but Clarke was one of the first people to realise that Heda wasnt as cold hearted as she portrayed herself to be. <br/>Echo laid on the bed emotionless as her body was cared for, she flinched every so often and gritted her teeth trying her best to ignore the pain from the stitches. <br/>Emori began to wipe down Echo's left thigh and she sat up quickly, the sensation bought back a flash of a memory. The heavy weight of somebody's body ontop of hers swarmed her mind and she gasped heavily. "Hey it's okay.. it's okay it's me" Emoris voice was soft but she could barely hear It, her mind was racing and she knew a panic attack was coming. </p><p>She laid back on the bed and placed her right hand ontop of her own chest, feeling the rythmatic beat of her heart pounding beneath her skin. Her eyes darted towards the table next to her bed and she quickly gripped onto the needle full of anaesthetic. Echo knew she had to knock herself out, it was either that or pass out from the panic attack she was having. <br/>"I can't. I'm sorry" she whispered as she jabbed the needle into her right arm, she quickly pushed the drug into her vein and within a few seconds she was out cold, free from her conscious mind. </p><p>As the two girls slept their friends cleaned up their bodies, they gently patched up their wounds and hooked the both of them up to a IV bag along with a bag full of vitamins for their malnourished bodies. <br/>Clarke checked Both of them thoroughly for any signs of other injuries, she held back her tears as she checked Raven's body over, harsh bruising covered her chest, stomach and thighs indicating something she really dreaded. Her girlfriend's body had been used against her will, more than likely it had been when she was unconscious with a new form of drug she was unaware of. </p><p>Luckily Murphy had found a needle of it in king Roans room so he bought it back to camp so One of the other medics could study it. <br/>"Emori you said Echo's body was bruised like Raven's aswell?" She asked through gritted teeth and Emori nodded her head in confusion as to what Clarke had figured out. <br/>Clarke simply nodded her head and whispered that they would talk after she had finished cleaning the girls up. When they were both cleaned up Clarke and Octavia dressed Raven into clean underwear, black jogging bottoms and a black sweatshirt, they then got Echo dressed in clean undergarments, grey jogging bottoms and a white sweatshirt. They chose comfier clothes so they didn't irritate their bandaged up wounds or bruised skin. </p><p>Clarke cleaned up the medical room and Lexa placed all the dirty rags into a bin in the corner of the room, once she was done she carefully covered both of the girls up with thick blankets not wanting either of them to get cold as it could possibly lead to something more serious due to how injured and sick they were. <br/>"So uhm.. the bruising on them and the results of the exams I just performed.." She paused and swallowed the rising bile that rose in her throat disgustingly. <br/>"Show they were.. well taken advantage of" she stated in a cold yet heartbroken tone. <br/>She knew the people who had fallen victims of these situations usually developed severe PTSD, depression and other mental health issues, which she didn't want Her friend and girlfriend dealing with. If she could take their pain she would but unfortunatly that was impossible.</p><p>"You mean they were.. raped" Octavia spoke blankly and Clarke inhaled a sharp breath and nodded her head. <br/>By this point Lexa had risen from her seat and she was now stood by the door angrily. <br/>"Clarke your friends will get justice.. I will punish King Roan for his actions. Mark my words he will not live to do this again" she quickly walked out of the door, clearly too angry to speak further on the matter which was understandable considering she had introduced skaikru to the other clans. Even though it wasn't Lexa's fault in the slightest it was clear the commander felt a slight amount of guilt. <br/>"Octavia and Emori can you stay here tonight.. just incase they wake up? I'll be running labs in the next room so if you need me you can come and get me but I really need to find what drug was in their systems.. Murphy you can help me" Clarke smiled a little and they all nodded their heads. </p><p>Clarke and Murphy entered the lab area to investigate what the two girls had been injected with and Emori and Octavia stayed beside Ravens and Echo's beds incase they woke up and needed some comfort.<br/>They were certain they would get justice for their friends, and they would also be there for them every step of the way whenever they needed it, which they would in the up and coming days.</p>
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<a name="section0016"><h2>16. I want a hug.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Raven and Echo slowly begin to settle in back at camp, however the adjustment upsets Raven a little resulting in her being comforted by Clarke.<br/>Raven also begins to trust another one of her friends again after being scared due to what she had been through. </p><p>"I want a hug" she spoke with slight nervousness and Murphy smiled a little, he moved closer to her and opened his arms which Raven slowly climbed into, she placed her left arm around his waist and he gently wrapped his arms around her waist, not applying too much pressure as she still had harsh wounds on her stomach which he didn't want to hurt or irritate. Raven huffed as Murphy shifted in his seat, unsure whether to pull away or not. Raven Takes a deep breath, and wrapped her arms around him tighter, hoping he would get the hint and stop moving, which he did.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this chapter has some mild self harm, used a a technique by Raven to pull herself out of her thoughts. </p><p>it also includes some fluff and comfort, its a light chapter. i really liked writing this one as it has a cute Murphy and Raven moment. </p><p>Please leave kudos and comments as I'm starting to think people are losing interest in the story. </p><p>leave suggestions on what you want to see in the future!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>23rd June 2145</p><p>Raven sighed sleepily as she began to wake up, her body was in complete agony. It was almost unbearable, if it wasn't from the morphine Clarke had given her early in the morning, she was sure she wouldn't be able to handle the pain she felt right now.<br/>
She sat up carefully, her eyes scanned the medical room and she gently brushed her filthy hair out of her face, she rubbed her eyes lazily and gazed over at Octavia and Clarke who were stood over in the corner of the room organizing some medical equipment, her eyes drifted over to her heart rate monitor and she let out another soft sigh as the monitor beeped annoyingly beside her.<br/>
Other than the machines beeping constantly the room was otherwise silent, although it wasn't a comfortable silence, it was the sort of silence that caused her body to become riddled with anxiety. Usually Raven liked the silence but now it just reminded her of the torture she had endured, she took her gaze away from the machine and looked down at her injured arms and hands.</p><p>"How're you feeling?" Clarke asked softly, unaware of how on edge her partner was feeling.<br/>
She jumped a little at Clarke's sudden voice as she began to walk over to her.<br/>
Raven shook her head and pushed the blanket off of her body, suddenly getting a little warm.<br/>
"I don't know. sore i guess" she mumbled raspily and attempted to smile at Clarke, instead she frowned and flinched as Clarke began to unwrap the bandages from her arms.<br/>
"I'm sorry I didn't mean to scare you rae" Clarke announced and cleaned up Ravens wounds with a clean wash cloth, before drying them off and folding the blanket up at the bottom of Ravens hospital bed.</p><p>Raven knitted her brows together as she nodded her head, implying that Clarke had no reason to be sorry and that it was okay, she scrunched her nose up and tucked her legs up to her chest nervously as Murphy walked into the medical room with a tray of what Raven assumed was coffee. Normally she would be happy to see Murphy, a week prior she would have ran up to him and hugged him without a second thought but now she didn't feel like smiling or hugging anyone, she just wanted to not feel as numb and broken as she felt at the moment.</p><p>Murphy moved across the room and Raven instinctively gripped onto the hospital bed sheets tightly, she felt nervous of him. She wasn't exactly scared, she knew Murphy would never hurt her but she couldn't help but feel a little bit wary of him, she knew the only reason that she was feeling nervous around Murphy was because her most violent tormentors were male.<br/>
Raven looked over at Echo's bed and narrowed her eyes, the bed was bare and the blankets had been folded neatly at the bottom of the bed. She exhaled a shaky breath and placed her left hand onto her forehead, memories of her time held hostage came flooding back to her as she remembered the few times, she had woken up alone, Echo nowhere to be seen; and how She would usually return after a while bruised and bloody.</p><p>Raven dug her nails into her wounded leg, picking at the stitches trying her hardest to snap herself out of her horrid thoughts, after a few moments she took a deep breath and her eyes filled with tears, a feeling of nausea came over her suddenly. Murphy seemed to notice her discomfort and he prodded Octavia who quickly made her way over to Raven with a frown on her face, Ravens face turned a sickly shade and she dug her nails into her leg harder, causing the blood to seep down onto the white bed sheets. Not only had King Roan destroyed her physically but he had also destroyed her mentally too, she couldn't seem to escape what had happened to her. She gasped for breath as she glanced up at Octavia and then back over at Echo's empty bed. Octavia seemed to understand what Raven wanted to ask her, she pulled Ravens hand away from her leg and carefully dressed the reopened wound with a few handmade butterfly stitches once Raven had begun to settle down. "Echo is currently with Emori.. Getting cleaned up, you can go to the shower room If you wish to join them" she spoke softly, the sort of comforting softness that made Raven calm down a little. She nodded her head hesitantly and cleared her throat.</p><p>Raven carefully swung her legs over the edge of the bed, hesitantly she gripped onto Octavia's outstretched hand, only to let go seconds later, not feeling comfortable enough to hold onto the outreached hand for a second longer. She looked down at the floor and bit down on her bottom lip, she felt like she was going to breakdown at any moment. Octavia grabbed a few clean towels and led Raven into the shower room which was connected to the medical room, "Do you want me to stay? Or are you okay?" Octavia questioned. Raven shook her head politely implying that she wanted her to go and Octavia nodded her head understandingly and walked out of the room, light splashes of water came from the other side of the room and light one sided conversation could also be heard. She slowly made her way over to the noise and looked up from the ground as a familiar voice snapped her out of her thoughts, she looked up at Echo sadly and sat herself down on the shower seat which one of the other mechanics had made for the slightly crippled skaikru members who couldn't stand up for too long. "Want me to help?" Echo whispered as she wrapped a towel around her already clean frame. Raven nodded her head and looked down at the shower floor blankly, tears threatening to fall from her eyes. Ravens clothes were carefully removed by Echo and Emori gathered the items off the floor and threw the dirty clothes into the corner of the room, Clarke and Octavia had wiped their bodies down when they arrived but Raven hadn't had a proper wash or cleaned her hair in over six days.</p><p>Sadness swarmed inside her as the hot shower splashed over her battered and bruised body, she was hurting so bad that a part of her wished she was dead rather than alive and that feeling scared her more than anything, she had felt it when she was younger but now the feeling felt stronger, she was scared that she could even think about leaving her friends behind, she was scared that death seemed better than fighting through this terrible time. Echo at down next to her on the chair as Emori began to rinse the shampoo out of Ravens hair. Still Ravens gaze was locked on the floor she was lost in her thoughts, her eyes blinking quickly as she began to cry, a sob escaping her trembling lips as her sudden thoughts started to become unbearable.</p><p>Echo carefully turned the shower off once the soapy suds had been washed away and Emori wrapped a towel around Ravens body quickly. Raven began to cry harder and she leant her head back against the wall, heart-breaking sobs erupting from her throat which Clarke and Octavia heard as the pair of them entered the shower room quickly once the sobs had gotten louder. Her breathing was unsteady and uneven as she gasped for air between her sobs, salty tears were now streaming down her already sore cheeks and she curled herself up on the chair unable to stop herself from crying no matter how hard she tried. "I don't want to do it anymore" she whimpered out and Echo teared up herself, she was feeling the same as Raven yet she was just good at pushing it down and hiding it. Clarke slowly made her way over to Raven and Echo moved away from her allowing Clarke to take her seat next to Raven.</p><p>Raven sighed exhaustedly which only made the tears flow faster, she tensed her body up as Clarke wrapped her arms around her body pulling her closer to her embrace, she untensed a little and her tears slowed but they still didn't stop. She felt so goddamn broken, "I want it to stop... Everything to stop" she whispered quietly, her words cut through Clarkes mind like razor blades and the blonde gritted her teeth to stop herself from crying too, this had been the most Raven had spoken to Clarke since she had been saved and she was practically begging for the pain and torture to stop, which broke Clarkes heart. To hear the love of her life, beg for her life to stop was the hardest thing Clarke had ever heard. "I know. Rae I wish I could take your pain away but I can't" Clarke looked over at Octavia sadly before carefully picking Raven up from the shower chair, she carried her back into the medical bay and placed her down onto her hospital bed, by now Ravens tears had subsided a little but she was still whimpering and a little teary. Clarke frowned a little, she climbed into the bed beside Raven and opened her arms up, waiting for Raven to crawl into her arms which she did after a few seconds.</p><p>Raven moved her hand and itched it closer to Clarkes, her hand hovered on top of Clarke's for a second before Clarke intertwined her fingers together with Ravens. Ravens breath hitched in her throat and she wiped her cheeks, drying the left-over tears up. She couldn't stop herself from nuzzling into Clarke's chest for comfort, much like a baby would do to its mother when it was upset. She gulped and let out a shaky breath, her eyes fluttered closed and she yawned in exhaustion as the blonde fiddled with her hair, untangling each knot from the now clean strands. Every time Clarke played with her hair it bought her comfort, it made her feel loved. Which much to her relief was what she was starting to  feel right now, she still felt extremely sad but, in her heart, she did feel loved and safe. She was surrounded by people that loved and cared for her which made a nice change to what she was feeling a day ago. Raven swallowed harshly and looked up; her heart instantly fluttered a little as her brown eyes met with Clarkes blue eyes that were full of so much love, worry and passion. Clarke scrunched up her nose and Ravens face broke into a small smile, that didn't go unnoticed by Clarke, the blonde smiled back and gently wiped her fingers under Ravens eyes. "I'm here you know? For you and Echo. We all are" Clarke muttered and Raven peered over Clarkes arm at her friends who were now all sat down at the bottom of her hospital bed, Echo was laid down at the bottom in Octavia's arms and Emori and murphy were sat next to each other opposite Clarke. They had pushed Echo's bed next to Ravens to create a bigger space for them all to hang out together but also, they made sure to give Raven and Echo enough space so they didn't feel overwhelmed or trapped.</p><p>"Did anything funny happen when we were gone?" Echo asked quietly to nobody in particular clearly trying to lighten the atmosphere, which seemed to spark up a few incoherent mumbles from each friend, Raven huffed a little as Clarke pulled her up and sat up against the pillows, Raven laid back down and rested her head on Clarke's lap and the blonde ran her fingers soothingly through the brunettes hair. Murphy frowned a little and shoved Octavia playfully as she announced Murphy had done something utterly idiotic as an attempt to show off to Emori. "well we were all out in the woods for the night to try and find you two and it got dark so we set up camp and Clarke started a fire and well, Murphy decided it would be the best idea to try and leap over the fire to show off. Which resulted in him being thrown into the lake still on fire to try and put him out. Luckily it wasn't too bad, he has some burns still on his legs and feet but it serves him right for being a complete idiot." Octavia told the story and stuck her tongue out at Murphy who now had his arms folded and his iconic fake annoyed expression was plastered on his face. "the boys are also a bit burnt" Murphy whispered quietly implying that his privates had gotten a little burnt due to his act of stupidity, every one burst out laughing and Raven chuckled a little, she didn't even feel like laughing but Murphy was still one of the few people that had the ability to make her laugh when all she wanted to do was curl up and cry, even if a part of her was still nervous around Murphy he was one of her best friends and someone she loved with her whole heart. </p><p>The group spent a few hours just talking about nonsense and other random little things they had gotten up to whilst Echo and Raven were gone, while everyone else talked Raven and Echo simply listened, neither of them really wanted to talk nor did they really have anything to talk about, it's not like they wanted to discuss what King Roan and his followers had forced them to do, not only would it upset their friends it would also bring back god awful memories that neither of them ever wanted to bring up. They knew sooner or later they would have to tell their friends everything but at this very moment in time they were too frail. Neither of them minded that they were just listening to their friends and not taking part, in fact it was quite soothing to be able to hear their voices once again. After their friends had filled them all in on what they had all been up to Emori and Clarke left the room to go to the mess hall to get some food for themselves, they also had to run some errands around the camp as a flu like outbreak had occurred at a few of the prisoners hurt so they had to vaccinate the rest of Skaikru against the outbreak so they didn't get sick. Octavia and Murphy stayed behind to keep Raven and Echo company as Clarke only needed Emori to help and they also wanted to stay so the girls were not left alone.</p><p>Once Clarke left the room Raven sighed to herself and curled up into the blankets, she felt a weight being lifted from the bed. She looked over noticing murphy had stood up, clearly not wanting to overstep any boundaries or overwhelm them with his presence too much in one day. She looked over at Echo who was now sat up on the bed as Octavia carefully braided her hair to keep it out of her face and to prevent any stray hair from falling into her wounds. Raven hesitated a little and shook her head as Murphy began to walk away from the bed and towards the chair that was next to it, she sighed and moved over nervously. "lay with me cockroach" she whispered almost inaudibly but fortunately Murphy had heard her, he turned around and climbed back onto the bed, making sure to leave a small amount of room in between himself and Raven. He fiddled with his hands and gazed over at Octavia who smiled at him a little before turning her attention back to Echo's hair. He looked as uneasy as Raven felt which made her feel bad, almost guilty for pushing her friend away but she knew he didn't think it was her fault, he had already assured her and Echo that he understood why they were nervous of him. Raven inhaled a small breath and shuffled closer to him, she laid her head down onto his chest and gulped down her nerves, yet he still didn't move. It was obvious he didn't want to move in case he scared her which she was slightly grateful for, but at the moment she didn't feel as scared as she thought she would, part of her felt at ease knowing that he wasn't going to hurt her like her tormentors did, he was her friend and she loved him and he loved her. "Murphy?" she whispered quietly, he turned to face her with an expression she couldn't quite understand. "Do you want me to move?" he asked nervously and began to lift himself back off the bed, she sighed and without hesitation she gripped onto his arm stopping him from moving off the bed, he turned around a little startled and sat back down next to her.</p><p>"I want a hug" she spoke with slight nervousness and Murphy smiled a little, he moved closer to her and opened his arms which Raven slowly climbed into, she placed her left arm around his waist and he gently wrapped his arms around her waist, not applying too much pressure as she still had harsh wounds on her stomach which he didn't want to hurt or irritate. Raven huffed as Murphy shifted in his seat, unsure whether to pull away or not. Raven Takes a deep breath, and wrapped her arms around him tighter, hoping he would get the hint and stop moving, which he did.<br/>
His arms tightened around her waist a little and she relaxed a bit more into his embrace and yawned tiredly as Octavia began to hum a simplistic soothing melody, she had finished Echo's hair and the girl was now fast asleep in her lap. Raven felt the exhaustion start to take over her body and her body was covered up in the thick fur blankets, within a few minutes she was fast asleep, snoring quietly in Murphy's arms, she was sure he would completely make fun of her for her snoring when she woke up but she was just glad she felt safe enough with Murphy again that she fell asleep in his embrace. At some point Raven was awoken by the sound of Echo screaming, obviously she was having a nightmare about what she had been though.</p><p>"come up here, it's okay you were just dreaming Echo, you're safe" Raven muttered half asleep, the bed moved and a soft arm wrapped around Ravens back, she intertwined her hand with Echo's who was now curled up behind her as close as she could be. The covers moved a little and Raven opened her eyes for a moment, Murphy and Octavia were both fast asleep, Octavia was curled up beside Echo and Murphy was snoring soundly, his arms were still wrapped around Raven securely. Once she was sure Echo was asleep, she allowed herself to drift off back to sleep as well.</p>
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<a name="section0017"><h2>17. How to save a life.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Raven continues to struggle with what happened to her, she doesn't know what to do or even what's happening to her, her friends are understanding and are all trying their best to help. <br/>Raven consoles Echo as she notices her friend struggling with her trauma. </p><p>will both girls be able to fight their thoughts?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter isn't anybody's point of view, I will be returning to doing Pov's in the future and hopefully ill do some other characters Pov's and not just stick to doing Clarke's or Raven's. </p><p>please leave comments and kudos because i still don't know if anybody is actually enjoying this fanfiction, leave a comment on what you think and what you would like to see in the future.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>24th June 2145</p><p>How to save a life.</p><p>A warm summer breeze crept through the metal doors of the medical room that Raven and Echo had been confined to. It was early in the morning, Murphy and Emori had left just as the sun began to rise as they offered to collect food for all of the group, Clarke and Octavia were keeping themselves busy sorting out a bunch of medical equipment that a few members of polis had bought over during the night. Echo had excused herself to shower, insisting that she was feeling up to it regardless of the fact she was still incredibly weak due to dehydration and malnourishment. Clarke wasn't about to stop her though, after all Echo knew that Clarke was just in the other room if she needed her help.</p><p>As another gust of warm air flowed through the room Raven shivered out of habit, she felt cold even though it was above 20 degrees Celsius that morning, not only did she feel cold on the outside but it was more the fact that she felt cold on the inside, like she had swallowed a thousand ice cubes and they were freezing her from the inside out. The cold was overwhelming to her, but it wasn't just the coldness that she was feeling, she also felt numb, like she was floating above her body; yet at the same time she felt everything, from the memories of her torment to the feeling of Roans heavy body on top of her which made her inhale a sharp breath. Raven looked over at the door as it opened harshly and slammed back against the wall with a thud due to the wind, Murphy and Emori entered the room with two small smiles on their faces, hands gripping trays of food and hot beverages. Luckily for Raven nobody seemed to notice the way her body automatically flinched as the door thudded closed, she sighed and brushed her hair away from her face. The smell of the overly sweet pastries and salty meats filled her nostrils, her stomach churned uneasily as she sat up on her hospital bed, Clarke turning around to meet her lost gaze with her heavenly blue eyes. "hungry?" Her girlfriend asked sweetly as she approached and sat down on the chair beside Ravens bed, a slightly concerned look painted on her face.</p><p>Raven stared up at Clarke as if she was speaking a foreign language, she shook her head and her arms tensed up for a moment as the memory of Clarke's struggles with food crept up on her. The last thing she wanted to do was trigger Clarke into not eating just because she didn't want to, she inhaled a shaky breath and forced a weak smile. "a little" she said simply, almost immediately gaining a smile from Clarke and the others. Murphy handed her a chocolate filled pastry and she stared down at it, she took the pastry in her shaky hands and bought it up to her mouth, taking a small bite that would satisfy the others more than herself. As she swallowed the sweet breakfast, she looked beside her, Clarke was now eating her own breakfast, a genuine smile appeared onto Ravens lips as she watched the love of her life eat a bowl of chocolate covered strawberries with no hesitation. Yet her smile disappeared almost as quickly as it appeared. Echo reappeared from the bathroom wrapped up in a clean hoodie and a pair of leggings, she looked as empty as Raven, she watched as Echo grabbed two pastries from Emori along with a hot coffee and sat down on her bed as she started to eat gratefully.</p><p>Raven sighed, her thoughts being interrupted as she forced half of the pastry down her throat, coughing a little as she did so. She brushed the crumbs off of her lap and scooted over to the edge of the bed, swinging her feet down onto the cold floor Raven slowly stood up and planted a soft kiss on Clarke's cheek as the blonde looked up at her adorably "bathroom" she whispered quietly as she forced herself to take another small bite of her breakfast, she swallowed and shook her head at Clarkes request to help her shower "you eat up babe, Octavia can help" she mumbled and quickly retreated into the bathroom, discarding the baked item into the bin as soon as she entered the door. Octavia entered a few moments later and Raven turned to face her, she tried to force a smile but instead a frown took its place and her eyes welled with tears. She cleared her throat and pulled her hoodie off her slimmed down frame with a groan as her injured limbs stretched uncomfortably.</p><p>Raven felt her throat close as Octavia's eyes wondered over to the bin, clearly noticing the pastry that she had thrown away yet she said nothing. She simply turned the shower on and pulled the shower seat down, gesturing for the mechanic to sit on it. Raven stepped out of her joggers and sat down on the seat, facing away from her friend as she began to lather raven's hair in shampoo. The delicate touch of Octavia's hand brushed against her back and her body jolted with fright, a gulp came from Octavia and Raven bit down on her bottom lip to prevent herself from breaking down. She felt so weak, weaker than she felt when her dad was beating her on the daily on the ark, she felt broken, the slightest noise and touch made her want to cry and just disappear forever. Deep down she knew it was hurting her friends to see her like this, so she was trying to put on a brave face but it wasn't working, not as much as she wanted it to. "I'm okay, I promise" she whispered as the soap was rinsed out of her hair gently by her friend. "I know Rae, here's a towel" Octavia whispered back as she switched the water off and wrapped a large towel around Ravens body. Raven stepped away from the shower and carefully dried her body off, making sure to go softer over the bruises.</p><p>A wave of sadness washed over here as she looked down at her waist, purple bruises in the shape of handprints tarnished her tanned skin and she inhaled sharply. Her fingers traced over them momentarily before she felt her legs give way, Raven gripped onto the sink and steadied herself. "can you leave me alone?" she mumbled and Octavia nodded her head reluctantly before leaving the room with a frown. As soon as Octavia walked out of the room her body hit the floor, the looming wave of sadness and fear finally consumed her body and she began to sob quietly, she placed her hand over her mouth to block out any noise that threatened to escape. Her body began to shake and she pulled one of Clarke's hoodies over her frame to conceal the site of her body from her own eyes. Her throat burnt as stomach acid began to rise in her trachea, her body sprung forwards instinctively and she vomited the little contents she had in her stomach into the toilet bowl, her left hand clutched onto her stomach as she vomited again, bringing up nothing but stomach acid and bile. A uncontrollable sob escaped her lips and she fell backwards, sitting against the wall. She wiped the flowing stream of tears away from her cheeks and inhaled a breath. She stayed sat on the floor for a few moments and then leant up, pulling the chain on the toilet to flush it. Raven inhaled another breath and exhaled it, slowly the tears stopped and she stood up from the floor as somebody knocked on the door "are you okay in there?" Octavia spoke and Raven turned on the cold tap, splashing cold water over her face to hide any evidence of her crying, she then hurriedly brushed her teeth and pulled on a clean pair of underwear and some black shorts.</p><p>Raven opened the door and nodded at Octavia with an award-winning fake smile plastered on her face. She walked past Octavia and made her way over to Clarke who had her music playing out loud. Which lucky for Raven meant nobody heard her breakdown or so she thought. She tapped Clarke on the shoulders and scrunched her face up as the blonde kissed her on the cheek tenderly. "I love you blondie" she whispered and Clarke rolled her eyes jokingly "I love you too... "she whispered back. Raven glanced over at Echo's bed that was now empty, she looked over at Clarke and prodded her shoulder, who seemed to know instantly what she was going to ask, "she's gone for a walk with Emori she was feeling overwhelmed" she nodded and began to pick at her fingers. Clarke stood up after a few moments and pecked Ravens forehead before making her way over to the computer to update some files for the orders which they had requested from Polis.</p><p>Murphy cleared his throat and Raven and Clarke gazed over at him curiously, he chuckled and held up a packet of Monty's homemade cigarettes along with a packet of matches, Clarke nodded her head and looked over at Raven who was staring over at her almost pleadingly. "go on with Murphy baby" she chuckled and turned her attention back to her work. Clarke knew smoking eased Ravens nerves and right now she knew she needed it, so she wasn't going to stop her. Raven simply nodded her head and pulled on her trainers before following Murphy out the medical room doors. The warm air engulphed her body immediately and she walked beside Murphy as he walked over to a tree in the shade which had a bench under it, the pair of them sat down and Murphy handed her the packet of cigarettes after he had taken one for himself. Raven placed it between her lips and leant forward, lighting hers on the end of murphy's that was already lit up. She closed her eyes and inhaled a deep breath, holding in the toxic smoke until it started to burn, slowly she exhaled blowing the smoke out in a large cloud. Her anxiety began to fade away as she took a few more slow drags, letting the smoke out moments later. Raven opened her eyes slowly blinking as she adjusted to the bright light once again. A flash of Roans face filled her Mind as one of the Arkadia residents dropped a large pot, causing it to crash on the floor, she gripped onto the bench with her left hand and inhaled another load of smoke. Her gaze turned to Murphy as his hand landed on top of hers hesitantly, he looked worried, which was something she hated. "it's alright, you're alright it's just an idiot who can't carry a pot without dropping it" he spoke softly and she nodded her head moving closer to him she placed her head onto his shoulder. Sighing as she recognized the more hidden expression he had on his face. "you heard me didn't you" she whispered quietly and Murphy nodded his head, she gazed up at him and then looked away. He looked concerned and worried at the same time, the two expressions she was already sick of seeing on people's faces when they were around her.</p><p>"it's understandable to cry Reyes. I mean you went through a lot; it would be more worrying if you didn't cry" he mumbled between inhaling and exhaling on his cigarette. This was one thing Raven didn't realize she had missed so much, spending time with her friends, in comfortable silence mixed in with meaningful conversations. This was something her and Murphy did a lot, he would always meet her on her lunch breaks at work and they would just sit in silence or talk about deep things that nobody dared to talk about. Raven linked her left arm through the gap in his right arm and intertwined their fingers, she took another cigarette and lit it up as the same nauseous feeling she had gotten earlier in the bathroom hit her again full force. "I missed you Murphy" she sighed and took a long drag of her cigarette, the nausea subsiding a little bit almost instantly, her gaze drifted over to her friends who had just came into view, walking out of the mess hall hand in hand. "I missed you too Reyes" he retorted and squeezed her hand reassuringly as Emori and Echo wandered over to them both, sitting down In front of them on the floor, Murphy smiled at Emori lovingly and Raven tilted her head to the side as Echo looked up at her and stuck her tongue out jokingly, she exhaled a cloud of smoke and blew it directly into Echo's face who breathed it in gratefully. Raven took the cigarette out of her mouth and placed it in-between Echo's lips who inhaled it and let out a sigh. Raven smiled half-heartedly and shook her head as Emori offered her a few of her fries from the mess hall.</p><p>"she's not feeling good baby" Murphy whispered softly and Emori nodded her head understandingly before eating the rest with Echo's help. The mechanic squeezed Murphy's hand thankfully and then let go completely, he smiled in response and offered her another cigarette but she shook her head and looked down at Echo. Mentally taking note that the girl looked broken just like her, they were both just good at hiding it. But it wasn't always possible when you have caring friends, sure you can hide how you feel occasionally but having such a caring group of friends makes it harder as one of them nearly always notices. Raven glanced down again at Echo, noticing how the girl had dazed out, staring blankly at the trees as they swayed from the wind as it blew around the branches. She knew Echo was starting to get some kind of flashbacks from the ordeal as she had a pained expression on her face.</p><p>"Echo come keep me company" Raven whispered as she stood up, Murphy looked at her curiously but Emori nodded her head, implying that she had also noticed how quiet Echo had gotten. Echo shrugged her shoulders and Raven held her hand out which Echo gripped onto as she stood up, their fingers intertwined with one another's and Raven looked at Murphy with a look he recognized instantly. "murphy can you - you know get more?" she gestured towards Monty and nodded his head as Raven pulled Echo into the medical room carefully and shut the door behind them. Echo let out a breath of relief and followed Raven as she climbed up into her bed. Raven shuffled over and Echo climbed in, she laid her head down on the pillows and Raven covered them both up with a blanket. The look of anxiety Echo had on her face outside seemed to disappear as Raven rubbed her back soothingly, Echo couldn't keep the tears from falling as she shuffled closer to Raven and turned her body around, nuzzling into the mechanic's shoulder. Clarke looked up from her paper work and made her way over to the pair with a dose of medication in a syringe, she looked down at Echo who nodded her head, wanting to prevent the memories of her time held hostage as quick as she could.</p><p>Raven carefully took the syringe from Clarke and wrapped her arms around Echo softly, she carefully inserted the needle into the top of Echo's arm and pushed down, the sleeping medication worked pretty fast. It was something Clarke had used on the pair around 5 times since they had returned back to camp to try and calm them down when the flashbacks or anxiety got too much. Echo closed her eyes and Raven discarded the syringe into the trash can beside her bed, she wiped the tears from Echo's cheeks and tucked the covers around her now relaxed body. Once Echo was completely asleep Raven climbed up out of the bed just as Murphy and Emori walked inside, a few bags in both of their hands. Emori walked over to Clarke and informed her about a member of the cookery staff who had burnt themselves badly and was requiring medical help, the blonde rolled her eyes and muttered something about the useless staff that were incapable of cooking a meal without ending up with some form of injury. The blonde grabbed a few burn bandages and some ointment she had made out of some herbs from the forest, she began to walk over to the door and Raven cleared her throat noisily causing the blonde to turn around with a smile on her face. "do I not get a kiss?" she whispered uneasily knowing it was the first time she had asked since she had been back in camp. Clarke smiled widely and walked over to her, she placed her hand on Ravens cheek softly, making sure to not make her flinch. Raven leant forwards and her lips met with Clarke's half way, connecting their lips together. Raven closed her eyes and placed her hand on the blonde's waist, a smile appearing on both of their faces as they pulled away. "I'll see you later princess" she mumbled as she walked away cheerfully, Raven rolled her eyes playfully and sat down on Echo's bed as Echo was in hers, "see you later" she replied and the door shut quietly as Clarke and Emori walked out of the room.</p><p>"is she okay?" Murphy mumbled gesturing over to Echo who was fast asleep. Raven nodded her head and crossed her legs, facing Murphy as he sat down In front of her on the bed, her eyebrows furrowed as she glanced down at her hands. "are you?" he sighed a little and pulled out a few of her clothes from the bags along with some of Echo's clothes he had obviously collected from their rooms before he had gone to see Monty. Raven opened her mouth to speak, she paused and closed her mouth. She thought for a moment and began to pick at the skin around her nails, she shrugged her shoulders and moved closer to murphy as the room was starting to get colder, she knew it wasn't actually getting colder, it was her that was getting colder. The feeling of numbness washed over her once more, however so did the realization that his hand prints were still covering her waist. Reminding her that she had been used against her will while she was unconscious nearly overdosing on the drugs Roan and his men had poisoned her body with. "I don't know" she replied in response to murphy's question, he nodded his head acknowledging her response before he pulled the covers back on the bed and Raven climbed in. She laid close to him yet made sure to leave a small amount of space due to the fact she had suddenly began to feel a little on edge and she didn't feel like triggering a panic attack right now if someone was to touch her. She had a question begging to be answered yet she didn't want to ask anyone until Echo had woken up as the same thing had happened to her, yet on the other hand she didn't want to ask at all. As she was terrified of the answer, she knew she had to ask at some point.</p><p>Raven closed her eyes and placed one of her legs on top of his so she could feel safer than she did, it might be stupid to others but it did make her feel safe. Because she wasn't alone, she knew deep down she wasn't alone even if she felt like she was in her brain. "get some sleep Reyes" he whispered quietly, which was unlike murphy, usually he was loud and like the group comedian but since her and Echo had returned, he had made sure to be careful around them, trying his hardest to be quiet but not too quiet that it turned the atmosphere uncomfortable but not too loud that it scared either of them. Which to Raven meant a lot, she was lucky to have him. She knew she was lucky, she hated that she was partly scared of him just because of what another male had done to her, because Murphy would never hurt the girls like that. But he understood, that was one thing she loved about him. He understood and he didn't judge, no matter the circumstance. "goodnight cockroach" she whispered back as a wave of unexpected tiredness washed over her, knocking her into her unconsciousness within a few minutes.</p><p>Clarke was now stood in the mess hall with Emori collecting lunch for the group of friends, they had patched up the cook which had burnt themselves on the make shift oven for the 8th time in one week, they grabbed a few burgers, a few salads, potatoes and some chocolate pudding along with a few sandwiches in case Echo or Raven wanted anything to eat which was unlikely but worth the try. Clarke sat down on a chair beside Emori as they waited for their food to be cooked. Clarke looked over at Emori, instantly noticing a confused and sad expression on the girl's face. "what's wrong?" she asked softly, making sure to be quiet as well in case anybody was listening to their conversation. Emori sighed a little and took a small sip of her hot coffee. "I'm worried about them, I know they've been through a lot but I didn't expect them to be this different, I went for a walk with Echo earlier and she was fine one moment, I saw something was bothering her but she seemed happy she was laughing and joking with me and we had a coffee and talked about some things she missed while she wasn't here but then suddenly she just switched off. It was like she had completely disappeared. She was just looking off into space, Raven noticed and took her off to the med bay but It's just hard seeing two people change so much and become almost strangers... I know it's not their fault but it is hard" she sighed and Clarke wiped away a tear that had fallen down Emori's cheek while she was talking, she gripped onto her hand and squeezed it reassuringly before letting go moments later after Emori smiled back at her gratefully.</p><p>"Ravens like it too, I know Raven had her struggles to begin with, she had anxiety and PTSD but with this that's happened I know it's gotten worse. She smiles one minute and then within a second the smile disappears and she looks empty, but she also looks overwhelmed at the same time. I only know some of what happened to them when they were with Roan... They fought for their lives quite literally and they were used without consent, beaten and drugged. I know I need to give Raven her space, today she asked me to give her a kiss for the first time since she got back which isn't much but it shows she's slowly trusting us again, she went out with Murphy too. They are slowly getting there Emori we just need to be patient. The lab results for the tests we did are coming back from Polis tomorrow morning so we'll talk to them both tomorrow, maybe have a fire like old times? We've just got to take it one day at a time just like them. Echo is currently on the smallest dose of a sleeping medication so you can wake her up when we get back, I don't fancy being glared at" Clarke chuckled a little and stood up as the chef handed them bags of the food that they had ordered. The pair took hold of the bags of food and slowly made their way back over to the medical bay, being sure to open the door as quietly as they could. Once they had entered the room Clarke switched the main light on and smiled as Murphy prodded Raven awake from her slumber so she could get some food, Emori did the same to Echo and let out a laugh as Echo glared at her for waking her up just like she used to.</p><p>"Good afternoon sleepyheads" Clarke smiled a little and Octavia walked in the medical bay with Lincoln in tow, Octavia smiled at everyone and sat down on Lincoln's lap once he had sat down on a chair near Echo's bed. "hello Echo and Raven" he spoke quietly and both of them smiled at him and mumbled a simple "hello" in response. Emori placed all the food out on a table in the middle of the group, Murphy shuffled along the bed and Emori sat down next to Echo, the pair exchanged small smiles and grabbed a sandwich each, once everyone had grabbed some food Raven sighed to herself, being the only one who hadn't had anything. It wasn't that she wasn't hungry, she was. She was starving, but every time she thought of food, she felt physically sick. Octavia was the first one who noticed that Raven hadn't picked up anything to eat as she looked over at her almost pleadingly. Which of course made Clarke look over Raven to see what the issue was. "not hungry baby?" Clarke questioned with a raised brow as she took another bite of her sandwich. Raven inhaled a breath and gazed over at the food on the table, her stomach rumbled yet she automatically felt sick just at the thought of putting anything into her body. Yet she had to eat, not for herself, but for Clarke. "chocolate pudding please and a sandwich" she mumbled and Clarke instantly passed her the bowl of chocolate pudding along with a spoon and the sandwich. Raven placed it down on the side of the bed and smiled a little as Clarke placed a strawberry on the top of the pudding, which she reluctantly ate not wanting to offend her girlfriend. Her body tensed as she began to slowly eat the pudding until it was all gone, which didn't actually take long. Once the bowl was finished with Murphy took it and placed it back onto the table, she then forced herself to eat the sandwich.</p><p>Once everyone had finished their food Clarke, Octavia and Lincoln all left the medical bay to help some people in the far end of the camp as they all had a sudden sickness resulting in fever and a rash. Murphy and Emori both stayed to keep an eye on Raven and Echo in case they needed anything. Emori began to clear away the food and Murphy was sat on Echo's bed trying to teach her how to play chess which wasn't exactly going well. A frown appeared on Ravens face as the same sickly feeling overwhelmed her and she stood up suddenly. It was then followed by the same feeling of fear she felt when she realized Roan had assaulted her, she almost lost her balance from getting up too quick. She instantly placed her hand over her mouth and rushed into the bathroom in a hurry, Raven shoved the toilet lid up and crouched down, uncontrollably vomiting into the toilet bowl; A hand appeared on her back and another held her hair back as she vomited and spat into the bowl. Once she had finished, Raven flushed the toilet and wiped her mouth with her sleeve, grimacing at the gross smell that filled the air. She looked behind her at Murphy who had an unexplainable expression on his face, he sighed a little and helped her up onto her feet. "thank you" she whispered and he nodded his head silently and turned the tap on for her. Raven washed her hands and face and then swilled her mouth out with a minty mouthwash Clarke had made from fresh mint leaves.</p><p>Raven pulled her hoodie off of her body as it was now covered in sick and she placed it in the make shift laundry basket in the bathroom, Murphy pulled off his hoodie and placed it over Ravens body which she thanked him for before she walked out of the bathroom after him. Echo gazed at her worriedly and Raven simply shook her head and climbed into her own bed, tears beginning to well in her eyes. "I want Clarke" she mumbled almost inaudibly, she sat with her back against the headboard and began to sob, tears streaming down her face as her legs curled protectively up to her chest. She didn't even hear the door open as Murphy ran out to get Clarke, to his luck she was only 8 huts over. Within a few moments Clarke rushed back into the med bay just as Ravens tears worsened, her hand was yet again placed over her mouth and Emori and Echo were looking over worriedly. Clarke made her way over to Raven and climbed up into the bed, her arms wrapped around Ravens body and she pulled her down on top of her, holding Ravens body tightly as her sobbing began to calm down. "baby girl I've got you okay? Just let it out" Clarke whispered and Raven inhaled a few shallow breaths, her tears were still rolling down her cheeks but they were calmer than before, her chest heaved and she nuzzled her face into Clarkes chest, inhaling and exhaling until the tears stopped completely, she felt Clarke's fingers trace patterns over her back and she stilled, trying to focus on the sensation of Clarke's movements rather than the memories that came back to her.</p><p>"stay with me?" Raven whispered once she had calmed down, the tears on her cheeks were wiped away by Clarke, the room grew quiet and she looked around momentarily to see Echo had fallen asleep and so had Emori and Murphy. Octavia and Lincoln had gone when Clarke came back to the med bay as they needed to hunt in the morning and wanted to give them some privacy. A blanket was placed over Ravens body and Clarke kissed her on the forehead gently, her arms stayed wrapped around Raven and Raven kept her arms wrapped around Clarke. "always princess" Clarke whispered softly and Raven smiled, this time it wasn't fake like the rest. She just felt lucky to have a girlfriend as amazing as Clarke. Half an hour had passed and now Raven and Clarke were both asleep, completely passed out from the exhausting day the both of them had.</p>
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<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Girl in a Cage</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The group slowly begin to realise that Echo and Raven's recovery will not be as simple as they thought, everyone is torn on how they should be helping them but slowly they are understanding more about how to help</p><p>Raven and Echo continue to struggle with the consequences from their devastating ordeal, will recovery be too much to handle for them?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter is a mixture of Echo and Raven's Point of view, I wanted to mix things up a bit and do a mix. </p><p>I'm sorry I haven't been uploading a lot, my laptop broke and I had to get it fixed. I have also started my first job, it is very tiring and I only have 2 days off a week however I will still be uploading and continuing with this story as I have a lot of things I want to touch up on before I finish the story!</p><p>if any of you want to dm me or interact with me on twitter my username is: @Hcwtragic2</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>25th June 2145</p><p>The light clattering of metal startled Echo awake. She sat up in the uncomfortable hospital bed, her chest was heaving dramatically and a strange sensation of fear filled her mind. Echo inhaled a breath to calm her heartbeat that was beating erratically, she pushed the palms of her hands against the mattress and counted to 10, a simple breathing exercise she had been taught by her parents when she was young; yet it still had the ability to calm her down to this day. She looked over to her left, her left hand reached out and gripped around a cup of water which she took a thankful sip of. A voice coming from behind her broke her out of her thoughts, which she was grateful for. Her thoughts had been nothing but torture since she had been kidnapped. Echo looked around, eyes landing onto her brown-haired friend that upon further investigation had clearly stayed the night to keep her company. She furrowed her eyebrows and shuffled to the edge of the bed; placing her feet on the floor as she stood up half-heartedly. She wanted nothing more than to stay in bed all day, ignoring all the concerned looks she was receiving from her friends. She just wanted to not feel like a girl in a cage, trapped and unable to move around without being watched.</p><p>Echo reluctantly pulled on her sweatshirt- she yawned quietly and turned back around to face Emori as she heard her ask if she wanted to go with her to get breakfast. She didn't really feel like she had a choice after all when she had gone for a walk with Emori yesterday it didn't exactly end well, maybe today would be different. Gross. Echo usually hated positive thinking but recently it was one thing that was getting her through the hours of the day, praying that she wouldn't feel as broken as she did later on in the day. She nodded her head with a frown and slipped on her boots, she really couldn't be bothered but seeing Emori happy was worth the mental tiredness that this outing would bring her.</p><p>Echo trudged over to Emori and linked their arms together, the small act of closeness seemed to relax her nerves that had started to build in her stomach. As they walked out of the door, they were met by Murphy and Clarke who decided to go and get breakfast with them. The more the merrier right? The foursome made their way into the mess hall, the smell of breakfast immediately caused Echo's stomach to rumble ferociously, she smiled a little as Clarke chuckled at the noise. Echo quickly made her way over to the counter and filled her plate up with some maple syrup oatmeal along with 3 rashers of boar bacon and a hot cup of coffee. Sure, it wasn't as good as the food in polis or the food her mother used to make but it was nice considering Monty and his group of nature nerds had grown and produced most of the grains and pulses that they used in the meals. Echo turned her head as Emori pulled her along to an empty table in the corner of the mess hall, clearly, she took notice yesterday when the loud noise was making Echo panic slightly.</p><p>She began to eat Spoonful's of her oatmeal silently while Clarke and Murphy made small talk about some drama, they had to deal with earlier on in the morning due to a prisoner that had escaped and decided to break into the make shift tavern that was in camp. Apparently, he got stuck in the window and had to call for help. Echo chuckled quietly at the story and carried on eating her food until it was all gone, she took small sips of her coffee, her gaze moved on from one friend to the other as they began to speak about the progress her and Raven were making recovery wise. Sure, her bruises and injuries were healing nicely thanks to Clarke's medical skills and herbal remedies but the same couldn't be said about her mental state, that was still in shambles, well each moment was different, she could be happy one moment and then sad the next. It was strange, but she was glad she was getting support from her friends. Clarke began to speak about some test results that she had received at dusk from a Laboratory in Polis and how she needed to speak to Raven and her later on when they had all finished some work.</p><p>"where is Raven?" Echo mumbled under her breath as silence loomed over the group uncomfortably. She looked over at Clarke curiously and watched as the blonde finished her mouthful of Pancakes before speaking up. "She's with Octavia, apparently she needed some air and wanted to go on a walk so I agreed only if Octavia could go with her. She doesn't like to be cooped up in the Medical bay all day but I don't suppose you do either" she smiled a little and Echo nodded her head and sighed, part of her still wished that Raven didn't get held hostage with her, she wished that she was alone through it all so her friend didn't have to go through the torture that she did but she knew Raven wished the same, both of them also made it clear that they were glad they had each other throughout it all. She just didn't like to see her friend in so much pain, she didn't like to see Raven hurt as much as she was hurting.</p><p>She stared at her hands: fingers bruised, skin dry and cracked and her nails were chipped and blood blisters filled her nail beds. She glanced back up at Clarke and shrugged her shoulders finally having the courage to reply to her friend "I guess, but being with you guys 24/7 isn't bad, I feel safe but yeah it would be nice to get back to normal" she scrunched her face up after she said the word 'normal' a faint smile appearing on her face at the realization that that term really doesn't fit into her life, not that it ever did. Fighting warriors and surviving in a post apocalypse world wasn't exactly 'normal'. She rolled her eyes at Murphy as he began to stack up all their plates and bowls that they had finished with. Once everyone had finished their beverages, they all stood up, Emori had a paper bag in her hand containing some food for Raven and Octavia for when they got back from there walk as they would have missed breakfast since it was already 10am.</p><p>Echo followed her friends out of the mess hall, she waved goodbye to Clarke and Murphy as they wandered off to patch up the prisoner from this morning as he had cut his arm on the window when he was stuck. She followed Emori back into the med bay and raised her brows as she saw Raven and Octavia speaking about something that had happened on their walk. Emori made her way over to the pair and placed the bag of food on the table beside Raven's bed. The mechanic raised her brows as Emori placed it down, tensing up as Octavia handed a pastry towards her. The tension seemed to loom in the room almost instantly, Echo sat down on her bed and watched Raven as she took the nut filled pastry and took a few large bites before it was all gone, once she had finished the first one, she quickly ate a second. Which was obviously just to prove a point to Octavia. "I'm going for a shower" Raven whispered and within seconds she had disappeared into the bathroom, the door locking behind her.</p><p>The tension seemed to lift a little and Echo shook her head confused as to what had just happened, she glanced up at Octavia who just shrugged her shoulders in response. "She nearly collapsed on the walk; twice might I add. I told her to slow down but she just walked faster it was like she was terrified of something, no, more like herself. I caught her before she hit the floor. She told me it was because her leg hurt but I know she was lying" Octavia sighed and looked over at the bathroom door as the shower clicked on. It was clear she was debating whether or not to go and knock on the door. Echo knew something was going on with Raven but it wasn't surprising, I mean they had been through a lot, of course healing from the trauma wouldn't be smooth sailing. "just keep an eye on her, be there for her. Octavia if you push her too much, she won't open up at all, let her shower and I'll try to speak to her after okay? She might talk to me" Echo spoke quietly so Raven wouldn't be able to hear that they were talking about her, even though it was hard to be silent when she was only in the next room over.</p><p>Moments had passed and then the bathroom lock clicked open, followed by the door being pushed open. Raven stood silently, her eyes fixated on her friends, her mouth open as if she was about to speak yet she said nothing, she closed her mouth and made her way over to the bed. Her eyes were clouded with tears that were threatening to spill. The mechanic cleared her throat and began to get dressed; her lips were pursed as she did so. Echo looked at her for a second but that second was enough to break her heart, Ravens body was still covered in harsh bruises and a litter of scars both of which caused her dragon tattoo to slightly blend in with her injuries. Echo looked away and fiddled with her hands, she knew her body was just as bad but seeing it on another person was much harder to handle, which made her realize why Raven looked away whenever Echo got changed. They used to change in front of each other all the time, they were comfortable with each other so it wasn't a big deal but now it was like looking back at a beat-up version of yourself over and over again whenever they looked at one another when their injuries were showing. Echo looked back at Raven and smiled a bit as Raven smiled at her, it was a small smile but it was there. And it was enough. "Emori can you do my hair?" Raven asked quietly, almost as if she was scared to ask. Of course, Emori nodded her head and gathered the needed equipment such as a brush, comb and a few elastic bands. Echo moved back on the bed and Raven climbed up next to her, her legs moved on top of Echo's and she shuffled back a bit so she was close enough to Emori that her hair could be done comfortably.</p><p>Emori carefully placed Ravens wet matted hair into small sections before she started to brush it out being gentle so she didn't tug too hard or cause Raven any pain. When the hair was tangle free, she lightly ran her fingers through it and started to braid her hair into some Dutch braids that her fellow clan friends had taught her to do, it used to be harder for Emori since she had the hand deformity but she had gotten used to it, soon enough she had finished braiding Raven's hair into four neat Dutch braids. "all done honey" Emori lightly tapped Raven on her back and pushed the loose ends of the braids over Ravens shoulders. Raven scooted back and wrapped her right arm around Emori, taking everyone by surprise at her actions, it didn't take long before Emori was hugging her back. "thank you" Raven whispered only to be interrupted by the sound of the door opening as Clarke and Murphy walked in with a few pieces of paper. Which seemed to be the test results from whatever tests Clarke had performed on them when they got back.</p><p>Raven broke away from the hug and shuffled away from Emori as Clarke sat down beside the bed with a concentrated expression on her face. She watched as Clarke flicked through some of the paper work, explaining how since they were both now night bloods it would mean they would be targeted by some of the more traditional night blood worshippers as they weren't born like it, they were just the result of a psychopath's experiments. She also explained that both of them had mild infections in their blood which was caused by their injuries but since Clarke caught it early, they were already being treated for it and were on antibiotics already. Raven glanced back at Echo with a glimmer in her eyes which Echo recognized immediately as complete and utter terror. "okay so I've got the results from the pregnancy tests we conducted due to what you both went through" as soon as those words came from Clarke's mouth Raven felt her stomach knot, vomit started to rise in her throat and she held her breath, trying her best to prevent herself from being sick.</p><p>Raven glanced down at her thigh as a hand pressed down on her leg comfortingly and she placed her hand on top of Echo's, another wave of sickness hit Raven full force and she leant forwards, dry heaving. Her ears rang and a piercing noise filled her ear drums uncomfortably causing her to groan a little, she squeezed Echo's hand gently and placed her free hand over her own mouth to try and reduce the amount of nausea she was feeling. The pair stayed silent though, waiting for Clarke to just tell them the results so they could try and forget about the whole thing. "negative" Clarke spoke aloud after a few moments, as the words came out Raven heard Echo exhale a breath. Raven's her heart thudded in her chest and she looked up at Clarke for a moment, the vomit continued to rise in her throat causing her to quickly stand up and rush into the bathroom, her knees hit the harsh floor with a thud and she emptied the non-existent contents of her stomach into the toilet bowl for the second time that day. The air around her seemed to feel thicker and she felt unbelievably numb all of a sudden, she wiped the vomit off of her face and slowly stood up, not having the energy to move at all.</p><p>Raven flushed the chain and wiped her hands with a towel, drying them off before walking out of the bathroom. She could feel her friends staring at her, which caused her to feel more agitated than before, not only were they all looking at her but they all had looks of compassion and empathy on their faces, which was the last thing she needed right now. The room was silent, uncomfortably silent- the only loud thing was Raven's mind, she lifted her gaze from her hands momentarily to only look back down at her hand's seconds later. She made her way over to the bed side table, distantly hearing the sound of voices but they were muffled so she couldn't really understand. Not that she wanted to anyway. She felt like she was frozen, everyone was carrying on behind her but she was stuck in a endless battle with her mind which made her realize that this was probably how Clarke felt when she was having bad days with her anorexia recovery. "I need air" Raven muttered, not really being sure whether or not she actually spoke, everything seemed to be a blur. Her injured leg throbbed but she ignored it and walked out of the med bay, she felt too far away to even deal with her leg right now, the door shut behind her and she walked the small distance to her old room deciding to just sit outside on the steps for now as she couldn't be bothered to unlock the door.</p><p>The world seemed silent, it was only late afternoon so it was unusual for camp to be so quiet, yet she could see people talking outside the mess hall, she just couldn't hear them. Raven pushed her hands into the pockets on her hoodie and leant back against the cold metal, she pulled her legs up to her chest as the cold afternoon breeze wrapped around her body making her tremble. She stayed against the wall though, enjoying how quiet the world seemed. If only her mind was that quiet, in contrast to the exterior quietness her mind was screaming loudly, she couldn't quite register what her mind was screaming about but it gave her an uneasy feeling in her chest she couldn't rid of. She was exhausted, all she wanted to do was to crawl back into bed and sleep until she felt okay again, but even sleeping caused her to be exhausted. All she wanted was to feel normal, well as normal as she felt before. She just wanted it to go back to normal, she wanted to spend her days fixing things in camp with her colleagues rather than spending the days being tormented and cooped up in the med bay like some dying animal.</p><p>Raven curled her left hand around a small bottle which she had swiped from Clarke's medical supply earlier in the day. She sighed and pulled it out of her pocket, unscrewing the lid and popping the small white pill into her mouth in one swift motion, she swallowed the pill and screwed the lid back on, concealing the evidence back into her pocket with a small groan. She knew stealing a bottle of pills wasn't the wisest thing to do, considering both Octavia and Clarke both worked in the medical bay each day and occasionally Murphy did too, well he helped with stock, but they were due a new stock tomorrow from polis so it's not like anybody would really notice, however it's also not like she cared if they did notice. She just wanted to feel something other than hurt, getting high used to do that for her, it used to give her a feeling of happiness and ignorant bliss. But since the only smokable substance the ark had managed to grow since they had been on the ground was ordinary tobacco, she didn't really have much of a choice.</p><p>In the distance she could hear someone calling her name, it sounded like it was getting closer but she was too dissociated to give a shit, she was unable to respond, her mouth felt dry and her mind was foggy. After a few minutes the voice had completely disappeared, she assumed whoever it was had left her alone or realized that she didn't want company. Raven pulled her hands out of her pocket and placed them into her lap, fiddling with her fingers as a distraction from whatever she was going through. Her leg ached immensely; she was aware of the pain. It was more intense than before, but not enough to draw her out of her dissociation. She scrunched her face up as the voice was heard again but closer, turning her head to the side she noticed that Octavia was sat down next to her, she turned away and dug her nails into her thigh trying her best to ground herself so she could hear what Octavia was saying. The voices around her got louder as she dug her nails in deeper, grimacing at the sensation. The feeling of someone's hand on top of her own drawn her out of her trance, she moved her hand away and tucked them both back into her pockets uneasily. "I'm worried about you" She heard Octavia mumble; the phrase made Raven automatically feel bad for causing her friends to worry, it's not like she wanted to feel like this because she really didn't. But at this point she wasn't sure whether she wanted to feel anything at all.</p><p>Raven sighed, leaning back against the wall a bit more, she just wanted to disappear. Away from life away from everything, the thought scared her. The fact that part of her felt like she didn't want to be here anymore scared her, she had Clarke. She should want to stay and get better with her friends and girlfriend. She should want to move on so she could finally move onto the next chapter of her life with Clarke but right now the feeling of want to not be here seemed to be stronger than the other feelings. She was yet again broken out of her thoughts as everyone in camp was beginning to enter the mess hall for their dinner. "has Clarke eaten?" she whispered, her voice sounding as weak as she felt, she turned her attention back over to Octavia as the black-haired girl shook her head and pointed to the blonde girl that was approaching them. She began to unconsciously tug at the sleeves on her hoodie, she looked up at Clarke and took her hand, she pulled herself up and stumbled a little due to her limp leg, once she had stabilized herself, she cleared her throat and followed Clarke into the mess hall reluctantly, her gold star fake smile plastered on her lips.</p><p>"Everything alright?" Echo quipped as Raven sat down with the group at a table, she looked over at her friend and nodded her head, looking up as Murphy sat down beside her, a bowl of broth and bread roll was placed in front of her and she swiped her tongue along her bottom lip. Her hands reacted before her mind could fully register what was going on, she bought the spoon up to her mouth and took a sip, stomach churning grossly. Her face turned pale and she dropped the spoon, pushing away the bowl with a sigh. Instead she picked up the cup of hot coffee that Clarke had gotten her and took a thankful sip. The cold numbness that filled her body previously seemed to warm up a little, she smirked into the cup as she registered that the pill, she had taken finally started to kick in. She took another sip of her coffee and then placed it down, opting to nibble on the bread roll while everyone else ate, her gaze lifted from her food and she looked over at Echo with a frown. They exchanged a knowing look to each other before the pair of them looked away, Raven sighed once more. "I'm tired I'm going back to bed" she spoke as she stood up, only to be stopped by Clarke as she stood up as well, pushing her own empty bowl away as she did so. "I'll come with you" she smiled a little and Raven nodded her head, silently the two made their way out of the mess hall and walked back outside to the med bay hand in hand.</p><p>When they entered the room, Raven pulled off her hoodie and folded it neatly beside her bed making sure that the bottle of pills she had taken didn't fall out, she pulled one of Clarke's t-shirts on and climbed into her bed. Clarke climbed in after and pulled Raven's body close, she relaxed against Clarke and bit down on her bottom lip as all the emotions she had kept inside throughout the day overwhelmed her out of nowhere. She moved her head onto Clarke's chest and intertwined their hands together, tears fell down her cheeks as she did so. "darling what's wrong?" Clarke whispered softly, the caring tone in her voice only caused Raven to get more upset. She felt like a burden on everyone especially Clarke, she shouldn't have to put up with Raven's moods or issues but clearly Clarke didn't see a problem in doing so since she was doing it 24/7 now. "I want it to stop", her own words stung and a pain came from her heart. It felt like she had just stabbed herself in the chest, it hurt because it was true. She wanted it all to stop. Clarke tightened her grip around her and kissed the top of her head, tears threatening to fall down her own cheeks as she watched the love of her life breakdown before her very eyes. "want what to stop?" Clarke asked trying her best to cover up the fact she had started to cry herself, she didn't know if she really needed Raven to answer the question because she knew what the reply was going to be. But she couldn't help but ask her what she truly meant by it. She knew Raven and Echo were both struggling but she didn't quite know how much until yesterday when Emori told her Echo had broken down and claimed she didn't want to be around anymore since the memories were too hard to deal with. "I want it all to stop, the fear, the memories. I don't know. Everything, I guess." Raven replied weakly, her voice was merely a whisper. She trembled against Clarke's embrace and cuddled closer to her, hating how weak she felt at the moment. "I'm sorry Clarke" she mumbled before going silent once more, her tears taking control making it hard for her to speak.</p><p>Clarke gulped down the lump that had risen in her throat and she started to run her fingers through Raven's hair gently, trying to soothe her girlfriend and calm her down a little before she got too overwhelmed. "I know darling, but you'll get through it, you both will. It's hard at first but as cheesy as it sounds it will get better, you and Echo went through a lot and I can't imagine how you must be feeling. But, I'm here and I'm not going anywhere, you helped me when I was down Rae, you saved me so please let me help you. Let me save you." she whispered back, tone as kind as ever. She felt Raven's body relax a little in her arms and she planted another tender kiss on Raven's head. Clarke smiled a little as Raven nodded her head and kissed the top of Clarke's hand before wrapping her arms around her and cuddling into her side like a koala hanging onto a tree. "I love you so much" Raven whispered, her tears had stopped completely and her body shuddered a little from all the crying. She pulled the blanket over Clarke and herself and closed her eyes, allowing herself to relax against her girlfriend. "I love you more baby girl now get some rest, ill be right here when you wake up and tomorrow me and you can go on a walk, maybe invite the others if you're feeling up to it okay?" Clarke whispered and once more Raven nodded her head, feeling much too tired to even reply right now. She squeezed Clarke's hand and yawned softly. Exhaustion filling her body within minutes and sending her into a deep much needed sleep in the arms of her lover.</p>
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<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Anxiety</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Raven and Echo are forced to put on brave faces as their friends make them go on a walk to clear their heads. which starts well but ends up causing more damage than good when they are forced to relive their trauma. yet they decide its best now to come clean and tell their friends what truly happened with King Roan as living in fear and with this on their shoulders is becoming harder and harder with every passing second.</p><p>"Yu gonplei ste odon" she whispered, a hand appeared on her shoulder causing her to flinch and swing her knife backwards, a female hissed in pain. The noise pulled Echo out of her trance and she looked up at the person she had just injured. Raven."</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This does include some injuries and some trauma related descriptions of what both girls had to endure in previous chapters.</p><p>I'm sorry also to all my supporters that have been waiting patiently for an update, I'm sorry I took so long to update but unfortunately I had no inspiration, however I'm hoping it's back now as I owe it to you all and the characters I have created to give them and you some closure and some happier chapters. </p><p> </p><p>please comment and leave kudos! I love replying to you all!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>26th June 2145</p><p>Echo's Pov.</p><p>Anxiety slowly became her best friend, it followed her everywhere, rooted in every cell of her body like a virus. Nobody ever held her the way her anxiety did.</p><p>It was here with her now, wrapped around her body like a warm winter jacket protecting her on a cold winter's day, except it wasn't cold and anxiety wasn't protecting her, instead it was causing her hands to shake and her head to throb. Her throat felt scratchy, but even when she lifted a drink of water up to her mouth and took a sip it still didn't soothe the ache. The persistent beeping of machines in the med bay caused her eyebrows to furrow and her fists to clench.</p><p>Her eyes flickered open and light flooded in, lighting up every part of her body apart from her gloomy dark mind. Everyone was fast asleep, but Echo had been wide awake since the early hours of the morning, her sleep schedule was all kinds of fucked up. One night she could sleep for over fifteen hours and the next she was lucky if she got more than two, the group was planning on going for a walk today but Echo really couldn't be bothered. She'd gotten good at forcing a smile every day that even sometimes she herself didn't know when her smiles were fake or not. She had been told multiple times that she was Brave and powerful for surviving and not giving up hope throughout her kidnapping but the truth is every waking minute was a battle, she felt like she didn't have any fight left in her anymore, she wasn't as powerful as she once was, but seeing that Raven was also struggling made her realize it wasn't just her that felt destroyed by the torture.</p><p>By all logic she should be tired from the lack of sleep, but it wasn't the sleep deprivation that caused her the exhaustion she felt. It was her mind that made her tired all day. She knows she should feel happy that she was alive right now but actually it seemed like too much effort to do anything but wallow in self-pity and emotional trauma. Every time she heard a loud noise or heard a scream from one of the Ark civilians, she felt like she was back in that place, being beat up and preyed upon like a little rabbit. She leant over and switched on the light beside her bed, being quiet so none of her friends would wake up, rubbing her eyes exhaustedly she stood up and pulled on her jacket. Well somebodies' jacket, it was too early to care. She slipped on her boots and tiptoed towards the door, silently opening it and closing it behind her as she stepped out into the warmish morning air.</p><p>Echo inhaled a breath and sighed, she tipped her head forward, letting her hair fall over her face messily, she then gathered all her hair into her left hand and combed through it with her fingers, ridding of any large cots before tying it up in an elastic band to keep it out of her face. She flipped her hair back and exhaled, her eyes fixated onto the mess hall and she sniffed upwards, inhaling the comforting scent of freshly brewed coffee. As it was early, she knew nobody would be in there, it was only five in the morning. She slowly walked towards the building, pushing open the door; flinching a little as it slammed closed behind her. She felt so pathetic for being scared of everything that weeks prior didn't even phase her. She trudged over to the coffee machine, ignoring the glances she was getting from the chefs. She grabbed a mug and filled it with the black coffee and milk, followed by two spoonsful of natural sweetener which was just oak tree sap that Clarke had turned into a powder with Ravens homemade dehydrator.</p><p>She made her way back outside with her coffee, her eyes wondered around. She took a sip of her coffee and walked over to a free bench which was sheltered by a few trees, she hissed as she sat down on the cold metal bench, her left hand clamped around the coffee cup as she sipped on it again, her mind wondering yet again as she thought about the day trip she was supposed to go on today. The anxiety in her body began to rise and she looked down at her left arm, noticing how she had begun to scratch at her arm obliviously. She sighed and looked over at the med bay doors as the lights inside switched on indicating that everyone had now woken up. She sat still for a moment, debating whether or not she should return to her friends or stay hidden outside for a while, she bit down on her bottom lip and frowned before getting up and making her way back over to the med bay. She had to get back to her friends otherwise they would start to worry, which was the last thing she wanted them to do right now.</p><p>Echo quietly entered the med bay, pushing open the door the pushing it closed once she had walked inside, a nervous shiver shot through her body, she took a final sip of her coffee and then handed it over to Emori for her to finish. Her eyes wondered around the room taking note of all her friends, they seemed happy today, probably because they were all going out once everyone was ready. Still, Echo didn't feel very happy about the whole thing, she really didn't want to go and by the tired look on Raven's face her friend didn't want to go either. She nodded her head as Raven stated that she was going into the bathroom to get ready. 'Good idea' she thought to herself as she grabbed a fresh set of clothes for herself and entered the bathroom, her eyebrows raised as she watched Raven shove something into her pocket then take a swig of water out of the tap, she thought nothing of it though since Clarke was a medic it was more than likely a pain remedy to help soothe a headache or one of the anti-biotics Clarke had prescribed them both with. Unfortunately, Raven was the only one who knew that what she had taken wasn't in fact a painkiller instead it was a small dose of Xanax, a medication that completely numbed her brain and quieted her thoughts, well. Mostly.</p><p>Echo quickly stripped her clothes off of her body with her back facing Raven, ensuring she gave her at least some privacy. She wondered over to the second sink in the bathroom and splashed some warm soapy water over her face, rubbing it around with a flannel. She sighed for the hundredth time in an hour and dried herself off after she had finished washing her body. She then pulled on a simple black t-shirt followed by a pair of jeans and her black leather boots. She rolled her eyes and began to brush her teeth, she looked over at Raven as she spat out the remainder of the toothpaste, her brows furrowed and lips pursed, her eyes racked over Raven's frame, she frowned as she noticed how fragile she looked. They both looked fragile and like they had been in the wars with all the injuries, scratches and bruises their bodies housed yet Raven didn't even seem to be getting better, her wounds were taking longer to heal and her body was frail, they had both dropped some weight when they had been kidnapped but Raven seemed to be getting thinner, which took her back to when they had been kidnapped. The small offerings of water and nettle infused water/broth they had both been given, Raven always have hers to Echo. Insisting that she felt too sick to eat, which resulted in them both not eating. Echo lifted her gaze as Raven began to get dressed into one of Clarke's t-shirts and a pair of her black ripped jeans. "are you alright Rae? You seem out of it?" Echo questioned hesitantly, unsure whether or not asking her would be a good idea. But to her surprise Raven nodded her head and turned around, trying her best to Face smile but Echo could tell she was faking it, the blank numb look in Raven's eyes kind of gave it away. "just tired I guess" she mumbled blankly before leaving Echo in the bathroom alone.</p><p>Echo began to scratch at her arm again, her face scrunched and she dropped her right hand away from her left arm as she realized what she was doing. Minutes past and she finally exited the bathroom, fully dressed with her hair braided to keep it neat and tidy since the wind was apparently going to be high and she really didn't want her hair getting in her face on the walk. "ready?" Murphy asked aloud, addressing everyone in the room, which all nodded their heads and mumbled all forms of "yeah" and "yes". She pulled on her Black leather jacket and smiled over at Emori who was pulling a stupid face at her to try and make her laugh, once her jacket was on, she walked over to Emori and placed her arm around Hers, linking them together. Something touched her shoulder just as she walked out of the door, her anxiety spiked, turning around. She blinked up at the person in shock, her expression changed and her face flushed in embarrassment. It was only Clarke, she smiled apologetically and Clarke smile back, waving her hand up in the air, dismissing Echo's apology.</p><p>Once every one had made their way outside they began to walk through the ark camp, deciding on going through the back entrance to avoid any possible chance of bumping into Bellamy and his friends as all of them knew he only liked working on the front gate as less intruders went through that way and it meant he could have more free time to be a complete and utter jerk to everyone on camp if he had less work to do. Clarke and Octavia informed them that they weren't going on their usual walking route as they wanted to avoid any possible triggers for the two girls, and as Clarke put it, the woodland could be a trigger. Which it was, to Echo at least, she found the woods utterly terrifying, ever since it happened, she has developed an overwhelming fear of the woods which she once loved, the thought of going into the woods made her feel physically sick, not knowing if she would return or end up like she did last time. It just didn't feel safe anymore, even if she was with her friends. Yes, she knew they would protect her but she didn't feel ready to face it just yet, it was still too raw for her. The memories were still too painful. Instead Octavia had planned an alternate route for them to go on, which excluded the woods all together, it led to a village to the west of the ark, which so happened to be Lexa's childhood village. Echo had been there before, multiple times in her childhood as it's were a few of her friends grew up however once they grew up and Echo had to leave her own village to train to be an Azgedakru warrior she lost touch with her friends that resided in this village and her own family back in her own village. It was hard but as her mentor used to say, it made her stronger.</p><p>The route that they were walking on was gorgeous, Echo couldn't deny it. Thick trees overcrowded the pathway at either side, which partly blocked the sun from passing through, however every once in a while, the sunlight would manage to shine through and would reflect off of the uniquely coloured flower petals causing them to shine different coloured patterns over the overgrown pathway. Echo still didn't want to be here though, no matter how beautifully the birds sang, no matter how pretty the flowers were, no matter how great the company was. She would much rather be asleep, she found herself already longing to be back between her sheets, relaxing between the safety of the fabric, yet unfortunately she had to endure a few more hours of this horrid walk. Granted she was glad that the weather was good, walking in the sunlight and heat was better than walking in the rain and cold but all the same it didn't make the experience more enjoyable.</p><p>Echo looked over at Raven who was walking at the back of the group, whereas Clarke was at the front talking to Octavia, she slowed her pace and waited until Raven caught up to her. An appreciative smile appeared on Raven's face and Echo nodded in response. Flinching back as Raven touched her hand. She composed herself for a second and took a deep breath, intertwining her hand with Raven's once she was physically prepared. They began to walk once again, slowly this time so Raven could walk comfortably without causing injury to her bad leg which she was struggling with due to it being out of her cast for so long. She squeezed Raven's hand softly and crouched down. Picking up a flower from the side of the path, she halted in her place and reached up, placing the flower behind Raven's ear which caused the girl to laugh a little, she watched as Raven bent down, copying her actions from before, she chuckled herself as a red flower was tucked behind her own ear to match the one she had put behind Raven's ear. The duo smiled at each other and then carried on walking, hand in hand. "at least the flower makes us look like we are enjoying ourselves" Echo whispered quietly so the others didn't hear her, she heard Raven snort and hold back a laugh. "it's given us a bit of dazzle... we look like we are thrilled to be on this wonderful adventure that is supposed to cure us of our worries and torment" Raven retorted with a short laugh, Echo lightly shoved her and the two began to laugh at each other. Their laughs came to an end as everyone looked back at them confused as to what was making them laugh, Echo bit down on her bottom lip and chuckled to herself whereas Raven shook her head and waved her hand in the air, dismissing the group from asking any questions. Thankfully the group began to walk again, this time Raven and Echo were silent, but it was a comfortable silence at least.</p><p>Echo carried on walking beside Raven silently until their friends in front of them stopped in their tracks and explained how they should turn back now because it was getting late and they didn't want to be out for that long, she was glad they were now walking back. She felt so exhausted. She looked beside her at Raven, who looked just as fed up and tired as she did. Which wasn't very surprising. She folded her arms over her chest and trudged along, ear wigging in on Clarke and Murphy's conversation that they were having behind them. It was kind of a relief to hear something other than her thoughts, but then again, she liked it more when it was quiet, even though her mind screamed whenever it got a chance. Echo sighed quietly as they continued to walk, they actually hadn't walked that far but as they were walking pretty slow it seemed like they had ventured quite a way away from camp, when in reality they had only walked around five miles. The trees waved around in the wind and the subtle howl from swaying branches caused her to relax a little, the natural sound of nature always made her relax a little, she felt like she was back home with her family. Even if it was just for a split second, her thoughts were broken as they reached the gates of Arkadia, the guards opened the gate and the group walked in slowly. The gates closed behind them and Echo screamed suddenly as her body hit the floor, a guard on top of her forcefully, she gripped on to his collar and effortlessly rolled on top of him, her knife was now pressed against his throat. Her heart was racing and her chest heaved, she was no longer in the safety of the camp, instead her mind had taken her back to King Roan's fighting pits. The she pressed her knife against hid neck harder, her breathing increased and tears flowed down her face quickly, yet, it seemed like everything was moving in slow motion. "Yu gonplei ste odon" she whispered, a hand appeared on her shoulder causing her to flinch and swing her knife backwards, a female hissed in pain. The noise pulled Echo out of her trance and she looked up at the person she had just injured. Raven. A frown appeared on Echo's face and she quickly moved off of the guard. "it's okay Echo, it's not bad, let's get you back okay?" Raven whispered clearly hiding the pain, but from that kind of injury anyone else would have been in tears, or at least showing more pain than Raven was.</p><p>Echo nodded her head and looked down at the guard, she glared at him and watched as Murphy dragged him away angrily. She bowed her head in embarrassment and followed Raven as she was dragged back towards the medical bay, she walked into the room and went straight over to her bed, Raven followed and sat down next to her with a small comforting smile on her face, she was clutching her injured wrist tightly to try and stop the blood flow a little. But it wasn't exactly working as thick black blood ran down her tanned arm and stained her clothes grossly. "I... I'm sorry, it's just, for a moment I was back there" she whispered almost silently, guilt clear in her tone. The bed shifted as Raven shuffled closer. Echo moved her arm around Raven's shoulder as she leant her head carefully against Echo's shoulder. "it's not your fault Echo. I promise you I barely felt it" Raven replied, she shifted a little as Clarke knelt in front of her and began to clean up the deep wound. Echo knitted her eyebrows and pulled Raven closer to her as an antiseptic alcohol solution was poured over the injury, yet Raven didn't flinch, in fact. Clarke flinched more than Raven did, which was more worrying to Echo than the whole injury. "Men like scars" Octavia spoke out as she approached them with a reassuring look on her face. Raven grimaced and looked over at Clarke questioningly, the blonde nodded her head and began to gently stitch up the deep gash "chicks like scars too" Clarke replied, Echo rolled her eyes a little and met Raven's gaze for a second before looking away.</p><p>A few minutes had passed and Clarke had finished patching up Raven's wrist. Echo chuckled a little as Clarke pecked Raven's nose before walking away to sterilize the equipment she had just used. Echo leant back against the headboard on the bed and she pulled the covers over herself, Raven climbed off of the bed for a second to change into a pair of joggers and a matching grey sweatshirt, she then climbed back on the bed and cleared her throat before speaking quietly so only Echo could hear. "do you think. We should tell them about the fighting pit?" she whispered; the question caught Echo off guard a little but she knew eventually they would both have to talk about it, she trusted her friends enough to know they wouldn't judge her for what she was made to do, and it wasn't like they had a choice. It was a kill or be killed situation. After a moment of hesitation, she nodded her head and shuffled a little closer to Raven who was now sat directly next to her. "can you talk though?" she whispered to Raven and relief washed over her as Raven agreed instantly, it was hard for them both to talk about but since Raven had been friends with them all for longer it was understandable that Echo wanted her to speak. Echo looked over at the door, smiling a bit as Emori and Murphy entered, smirks on their faces as they sat down next to Echo's bed. It was obvious they had 'handled' the guard situation a little too much, Murphy clearly had Bruised knuckles as did Emori, but it made her happy that her friends protected her the way they did.</p><p>Once Clarke and Octavia joined the group beside Echo's bed, she heard Raven let out a small sigh "uh, I don't know if you guys know what happened when we were away. You probably do but, we'd like to tell you ourselves, maybe not the whole story but..." Echo turned around and nodded her head at Raven, indicating to her that she could continue and that it would be okay. The group stayed silent, all of them were waiting patiently for Raven to continue as well, but they were all being patient as they knew it was hard for them to talk about. "when we got to King Roan's palace, we woke up in a science lab, I woke up first, I remember feeling like I was dying, I could hear everything, it was loud and it was so scary. A medic had injected me with something, he did the same to Echo. I couldn't stop it, neither of us could. I nearly overdosed but somehow, I didn't, the medic explained how he needed test subjects and the king needed toys. He kept pumping our bodies full of a drug and Night-blood, it was the worst pain ever. King Roan came in after a while and told the medics to take us to the fighting pits once they had experimented on us." Raven stopped suddenly and looked away, wiping her cheeks from the tears which were rolling down her face, Clarke was also tearing up and was now holding Raven in her lap, stroking her arm to soothe her so she could carry on with the story, Emori and Murphy had made their way onto the bed and had Sandwiched Echo between them so she could feel secure. Which she really did need right now, Echo leant her body against Emori and laid her head down in Emori's lap.</p><p>"When they were done, they took us down to the fighting pits, all of Roan's followers were cheering, Roan gave us swords and two warriors entered the fighting pit, he explained that if we lose, we die, but if we win, we live, we didn't have a choice. We both took on one of the warriors, I managed to get mine down after about half an hour of fighting, he sliced my stomach open and I... I stood on his chest and stabbed his heart. I watched him die under me. Echo did the same, I stabbed him in the arm and Echo Slit his throat, it was awful, I... I still see their faces, it was the same the next day, you rescued us that day, but if you hadn't, we would be dead, King Roan was getting bored and he said killing us would be better entertainment" Raven finished speaking, she pushed her body closer to Clarke's and began to sob into her girlfriends chest, the site of her friend crying only made Echo cry harder than she already was, she cried against Emori's lap as quiet as she could, her friends were all crying too, trying their best to suppress it but Echo knew they were all crying, she didn't blame them, she just wished she was the one comforting them not the other way around. "we tried to find you sooner, Lexa had people searching all day and night, we found both places you were at before you were taken to King Roan's palace. But I'm glad we managed to find you eventually, we never gave up." Murphy spoke quietly. Echo nodded her head as he spoke, a weak smile appeared on her face, she was grateful for her friends, if they didn't find them in time they wouldn't be there today, sure, they might never get over the trauma but at least they had their friends to keep them company throughout all the hardships of it, and at least they could be there for their friends as well. "we didn't give up either, we knew eventually you'd find us both" Echo whispered, a slight warm feeling appeared in her heart for the first time in a while, that was when she realized.</p><p>Everything would be okay in the end, as long as she had her friends and as long as they had her.</p>
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<a name="section0020"><h2>20. I see you.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Clarke and Raven go out together on an outing to pick some herbs up for medical treatments but they find their journey interrupted by something they end up rescuing! </p><p> </p><p>"Clarke, I see something!" Raven rushed her words out and Clarke moved back instantly so Raven could get closer, she shuffled back a little and kept shinning the torch into the opening while she watched Raven reach into the gap. Moments passed and Raven squeaked, pulling back with a frown.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter is literal princess mechanic fluff. It's not angsty at all like my usual chapters. But as it's coming up to Christmas I thought it was be nice to have a cute chapter or two.  <br/>More angst will definitely follow though. </p><p>Comment below if you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>27th June 2145</p><p>Clarke's POV:</p><p>Clarke woke up before Raven, her friends had left last night after they all spoke for hours, Echo had gone with Emori to spend the night which finally gave her and Raven some much needed, well. Craved privacy, she glanced over to her right, a smile appearing on her face instantly as her eyes admired her sleeping girlfriend that laid beside her, curled up in her arms with her lips pursed. Clarke silently cursed her body for waking her up this early, she wanted to spend the day cuddling Raven in bed but unfortunately her body clock woke her up early and she had quite a lot to do today, she had to organize the medical bay and collect herbs for some remedies as the camp was running out of antidotes and other things that required herbs to make, she carefully climbed out of the bed, being as quiet as she could so she didn't wake her girlfriend up. She grabbed some spare clothes out of her drawers and wandered back over to Raven. She gently caressed Raven's cheek and planted a soft kiss on her forehead; Raven slowly began to wake up as Clarke ran her fingers through her hair, she chuckled as her girlfriend whined as she opened her eyes, a pout appearing on her lips as a pair of confused sleepy eyes met with Clarke's gaze. "I just thought I'd wake you; I'm going to get ready; I didn't want you to wake up alone" she whispered, gently pulling Raven up from her sleeping position.</p><p>She watched as Raven yawned and fell backwards with a groan before reluctantly sitting back up and climbing out of the bed sleepily. "I'll come with you" Raven mumbled and Clarke nodded her head, she walked over to the drawers and pulled Raven a black denim skirt out, undergarments and a white sweatshirt, once she had the clothes she walked into the bathroom and filled the sink with water, deciding on only having a simple wash this morning as she would more than likely get muddy when collecting some herbs later on. Clarke turned around and smiled as Raven entered the bathroom with her arms folded groggily, she turned back around to give Raven some privacy while she undressed, she undressed herself and quickly washed her body with a soft washcloth, once Clarke had finished, she pulled on her underwear followed by a pair of leggings and a baggy sweatshirt as she was having a slight bad day with her body dysmorphia, it was normally easy to handle, she just tended to stay away from mirrors on the off days and wear baggy clothes so her mind would not try and play tricks with her. She brushed her teeth when she was dressed and gestured for Raven to come over so she could help her into her skirt as she was struggling because of her leg and injured arm from yesterday. Clarke carefully helped Raven into her skirt, she then stood up and led Raven out of the bathroom as the both of them were now finished.</p><p>Clarke grabbed hers and Raven's makeup bags and trudged over to her girlfriend with a shy smile on her face, she placed both bags on Raven's lap once she had sat down and then she sat down next to her. "Can you do my makeup please?" She questioned politely, shuffling closer once Raven agreed and began to lightly brush some foundation over her pale cheeks. She only ever wore makeup when she was leaving camp, or having an off-day recovery wise. "you know you look gorgeous without it right?" Raven mumbled as she lightly brushed some mascara through Clarke's eyelashes. Clarke shrugged her shoulders; her cheeks blushed a bright shade of red and she stuck her tongue out at Raven immaturely, causing them both to chuckle. "I know I am" Clarke chuckled, something she started to do when she was having one of these days was try and compliment herself at least once a day, or agree to one of Raven's multiple compliments, it kind of worked, It did make her feel good, whether she believed it or not was another matter though. But she was trying to believe it, after all she knew recovery was not a straight road, it was going to have bumps and hurdles, she just had to overcome them. Which, she was trying her best to do, since having Raven back it had been easier to carry on as she had her purpose and inspiration back.</p><p>Once Raven had finished applying Makeup to Clarke's face, she applied some gothic style makeup to herself, winged black eyeliner followed by a dark lip. It was a style Raven had started to do more since she had been down on earth, the never-ending berry supply made it easier as she could make her products naturally. Clarke then placed both makeup bags away on the side and the pair walked out of their room. Clarke had already informed her friends that her and Raven might be going to get some herbs the previous day so they wouldn't worry if they couldn't find either of them. The wind blew and the slight chill in the air caused Clarke to pull Raven closer to her, she wrapped her right arm around her girlfriends' side and flashed her a signature 'Clarke griffin smile'. They continued to walk for a little before Clarke stopped in the middle of a clearing, letting go of Raven's hand reluctantly she bent down and began to pick some fresh mint leaves, bundling them up neatly before threading some string on the stems to keep them tidy. "May I help?" Raven spoke out softly beside her as her frail frame bent down, Clarke nodded her head and handed her some string to tie around the bundles of mint which she took instantly with a small smile and began to tie little bows around the mint piles that Clarke was now placing onto her lap.</p><p>Clarke carefully stood up; pulling Raven up with her, she smiled and intertwined their fingers together as she began to walk to another spot of the meadow, "baby can you pick some of that for me?" she asked, taking the bag from Raven's grasp as the tanned girl walked towards the yarrow plant, she watched as Raven cut some stems and bundled them up. She took a sip of her water and handed the bottle to Raven once she had finished collecting some of the plants, Raven took a large sip of the water and gazed down at the list of other things they needed to collect, only 3 things left on the list. "There isn't much to collect love, Aloe vera, Lavender and some sweet violet" Clarke informed as she held the bag open for Raven who proceeded to place the plants into it which she had just collected.</p><p>Clarke gazed around at the meadow, bees and butterflies buzzed and fluttered around elegantly, the bright summer flowers had bloomed and were now providing nutrients for all of the animals that needed it. She inhaled a soft breath and looked over at Raven, a smile appearing on her face as she saw her girlfriend laugh at the butterfly that had just landed on top of her hand, not showing any signs of wanting to fly away. Raven lightly blew onto the butterfly and flicked her hand to the side; the creature flew away instantly and Clarke chuckled lightly. "did you see that!" Raven squealed; joy evident in her tone for the first time in forever, which made Clarke gleam with happiness. "I did Rae, it was very adorable" she replied as she bent down and pulled some aloe vera out of the ground along with a little bit of lavender, she looked up as Raven walked a little further away to pick some sweet violet with the smile still prominent on her face, feature that was becoming all too rare on her girlfriend's face, it was heartwarming to see her happy though.</p><p>Clarke's thoughts were interrupted as Raven walked back over with a raised eyebrow, "can you hear that?" she questioned, causing Clarke to stand up and tilt her head to the side as she tried to hear whatever noise had bothered her love. Sure enough, through the howling of the wind and scrunching of leaves and grass there was indeed a noise, sort of like a cry, but not from something human. It sounded young whatever it was, and the sound alone was causing Raven distress as Clarke noticed she had begun to scratch at her stitches agitatedly. "darling do you want to find out what It is?" Clarke spoke softly, she took the bag from Raven and gripped onto Raven's hand to prevent her from tearing her stitches out due to her heightened anxiety. Raven simply nodded her head in response and Clarke scrunched her face up as Raven began to pull her over to the direction that the sound was coming from, the noise had become louder and Clarke narrowed her eyes a little as they paused in front of a blackberry bush, it sounded like a animal in distress, maybe a rabbit? She wasn't sure. Raven bent down close to the bush and looked up to Clarke, Clarke returned her gaze and met Raven's eyes with her own, she shrugged her shoulders and grabbed her knife from her pocket, carefully cutting some of the bushes away so they would have a better chance of finding the cause of the noises.</p><p>Once Clarke had trimmed back the thorns, she Grabbed her torch from her bag and clicked it on, shinning it into the opening, the noise got louder and she sighed, unable to see anything. "Clarke, I see something!" Raven rushed her words out and Clarke moved back instantly so Raven could get closer, she shuffled back a little and kept shinning the torch into the opening while she watched Raven reach into the gap. Moments passed and Raven squeaked, pulling back with a frown and a small bundle of fur in her arms, pulled close to her chest to give the creature some warmth. "what is it?" Clarke questioned as she gently helped Raven stand up, pulling herself up as well she stood in front of Raven and lifted her hand up and stroked the trembling animal gently, not wanting to alarm it. "a puppy... It's... a puppy" Raven answered, her voice laced in sadness as she gestured towards the wound that was surrounded by thick white and brown fur.</p><p>Clarke followed Raven's finger and sighed at the sight before her, the small helpless animal had been attacked by what looked like was a bear scratch, luckily it wasn't too bad, but Clarke didn't really know much about treating animals, and given the look on her girlfriends face it was clear the girl was already attached to the poor dog. "let's take it back to camp okay? I'll try and treat it" Clarke smiled a little and pulled her sweatshirt off, placing it around the animal which lay in Raven's arms nervously, she chuckled lightly as Raven's face lit up like a child on Christmas day, they began to walk back to camp, quickly this time as Clarke new she had to treat the animal instantly, they hadn't walked too far away from the camp so it wasn't that bad of a walk, she groaned a little as they reached the gap in the fence, she climbed through and gently picked the puppy up from Raven's grasp so she could climb through, once Raven climbed through Clarke gripped onto her hand and pulled her girlfriend through the camp as quickly as she could, not wanting to get caught by one of Bellamy's asshole guards, or well the asshole himself, as much as Clarke wanted to murder him, she had more pressing matters to attend to. The duo ran across the camp and through the center, through all the people that were now staring at them strangely, Clarke gasped for breath and unlocked the medical bay, pulling Raven in and closing the door behind her as quickly as she could.</p><p>Gently Clarke placed the puppy down onto one of the beds, gesturing for Raven to keep it company as she collected all of the supplies she needed, the wounds weren't bad enough to require stitches however they did need dressing, which Clarke assumed would be the same procedure for a dog as it is for a human, it's not like she had a choice anyway, once she had collected all of the medical supplies she washed her hands and made her way over to Raven and the little animal, her heart melting a little at the sight of her girlfriend trying her best to soothe the puppy. Clarke sat down beside the bed and carefully wiped down the wound with a diluted iodine solution, surprisingly the puppy didn't move, whether it was just well behaved or in so much pain that it was accepting the help she didn't quite know. Either was she was happy they had managed to find the animal so it was no longer fighting for its life in the wild. She placed a few drops of aloe vera onto the wound and then wrapped a bandage around its torso, making sure not to bind it too tight that it was uncomfortable, once she had finished, she grabbed a spare blanked and covered the puppy with it, earning a confused expression from Raven. "do you want me to take it back now?" Raven asked sheepishly, Clarke shook her head and leant forwards, planting a delicate kiss on Raven's cheek, resulting in her girlfriend blushing profusely. "we're keeping it, well, her by the looks of it. Why don't you think of a name while I text murphy and ask him to get some water and food for her?" she smiled and squeezed Raven's hand before pulling out her phone and texting murphy a quick message, telling him to bring a bowl of water along with some cooked rice, chicken and meat stock. It wasn't like they had much of a variety of dog food at camp but Clarke remembers her father telling her stories of his parents and how they used to feed their dog those foods when it was poorly.</p><p>Soon enough the door opened, revealing a confused Murphy soon followed by Echo, Emori and Octavia. It wasn't surprising though, of course the whole gang was here. The more people the better though. "why an earth did you want rice... And chicken and a bowl of water? Bad stomach or something?" Murphy raised his eyebrows and Clarke rolled her eyes before moving next to Raven, revealing the small vulnerable fluff ball to the group. Silence loomed over the group for a moment before a chorus of "awh's and Oh's" filled the room, followed by all of them slowly making their way over, Clarke looked down at the puppy as it shuffled closer to the strangers nervously, clearly unsure whether or not they could be trusted. Clarke placed her left hand in front of the puppy, letting it sniff her fingers. A smile appearing on her face as it began to lick her, she carefully placed her hands under its belly and lifted it up, placing it down on her lap so her friends could stoke it. After they had all given the animal some attention Clarke placed the puppy onto Raven's lap, swooning as it immediately curled up and let out a little yawn. "Her names Nova" Raven whispered as she wrapped both of her arms around the sleeping ball on her lap. Clarke smiled widely and rested her head on Raven's shoulder lovingly.</p><p>"where did you find her?" Octavia questioned as she stood up and placed the bowls of food and water down at the bottom of Raven's bed before returning to her spot on the bed, arms folded on her chest. "Raven and I were collecting herbs in the meadow and she heard something whimpering so we followed the sound to a blackberry bush, cut away some branches and Raven spotted her in the middle of the bush, it looked like she had been attacked by a bear but now I think it might have been an arrow wound or something" Clarke informed as she glanced back down at the puppy, she stretched her arm out and lightly stroked over Nova's ears, she pulled the blankets up and covered Raven's shoulder with it, not wanting her to catch a chill because even though Raven had been improving she was still a little weak and fragile, and catching a cold would be more severe.</p><p>"darlings I'll be back in a moment okay? I need to collect some things from the kitchen and some spare blankets for you both" Clarke gestured between Raven and Nova, gaining a small nod from Raven. She turned away and glanced at Emori and Octavia. "help me?" she asked, they both of course agreed, following Clarke out of the medical bay closely. Clarke led the way as she walked into the mess hall, calling over to one of the cooks for the ingredients she had ordered to make her remedies. While that was being packed up for her she sat down on a table as did Emori and Octavia. "Does Lincoln know how long much longer it'll take to complete?" Clarke whispered, making sure nobody else could hear her other than the people currently present at the table. "He had Lexa's personal electricians and mechanics working on it for the past 3 days, Clarke we can move in whenever you're ready, he has the medical bay ready and everyone's room has radiators and a proper bed... We even have a kitchen" Octavia spoke quietly, trying her best to hide her excitement that was evident in her tone.</p><p>Clarke inhaled a sharp breath and glanced back at Octavia then at Emori with a small smile on her face. "tomorrow then" she whispered back and her two friends nodded their heads enthusiastically. The group of friends had been planning on moving into a bunker that they had found on the outskirts of polis, due to the close relationship they had with Lexa and Indra they were allowed to move into it, however before Raven and Echo's incident Clarke had lied and told everyone they couldn't move in due to it having unsafe structure, but truth be told she just wanted it to be a surprise and had been trying to get it in a fully livable state before the group moved in. The bunker had enough room for a greenhouse, training room, bedrooms and bathrooms for each couple along with a Relaxation room, it also had space for their very own medical facility in case any of them ever got injured, Clarke and Octavia had been training a few towns folk on how to be a medic so the camp would have sufficient resources when they left, and the camp had enough mechanics so that wasn't a problem. She just couldn't believe she had managed to pull it off, keeping secrets from her other friends was one thing but keeping a secret from Raven was physically killing her.</p><p>Her order was placed on the table and she grabbed onto the bag, standing up she thanked the chef and walked out of the mess hall, her friends walking next to her. She then walked to the supply room, unlocking the door and grabbed some spare blankets, pillows and some newspapers for the puppy to use to go to the toilet on until they were at the bunker and had the time to potty train her, she would have to use the paper. Once they had collected everything, they needed they exited and Clarke locked the door behind her so nobody could steal the supplies, she then walked back to the medical room, the door opening and closing behind them as they entered, Clarke placed the bag of remedy ingredients down on the side and then grabbed the massive white board and map which she kept in the medical bay in case they had an emergency out of camp and needed directions. "I have some news" Clarke cleared her throat and pinned the map onto the white board, her attention fixed on Echo, Raven and Murphy who were staring at her confused.</p><p>She smiled a little and Emori and Octavia joined her at the front, all of them now smiling like idiots, their smiles getting wider as Clarke began to speak. "we're moving... tomorrow" she spoke firmly yet reassuringly at the same time, her gaze moving from Each of her friends as the shook their heads in confusion. "the whole camp? Why?" Echo questioned as she looked at the map, trying to figure it out for herself. Clarke simply shook her head in regards to Echo's question and she pointed at the border on the north of Polis. "no, just us" she chuckled slightly at their confused expressions before speaking up again. "The bunker we found; it wasn't unsafe. Me, Emori and Octavia just wanted it to be a surprise, it's been rewired, adapted and soundproofed, we have a kitchen, bedrooms and bathrooms. All in separate quarters for Each couple, along with spare rooms if need. We have a relaxation room, a greenhouse, and I think they finished the garden today. We also have an outside area that's completely sealed to prevent anybody attacking us and I have my own medical facility there... we have close access to polis town for food that we can't grow, each of us have the opportunity to work in polis if we like. Raven if you like you can work as one of Lexa's mechanics, but, not until you're cleared by me and its only if you would like to work. Which isn't a necessity as we don't really need to work" Clarke took a deep breath once she stopped talking.</p><p>Clarke gazed over at Raven who was sat with a small smile on her face, all her friends looked happy and confused at the same time which was better than she was expecting, at least they weren't angry or sad about the move. "so, all of us are moving? Away from this place?" Murphy questioned with a quirked eyebrow, Clarke nodded her head and her gaze turned as Raven began to approach her with the newest member of the group in her arms, she smiled widely as Raven wrapped her arms around her waist; her head nuzzled into Clarke's shoulder and the blonde returned the gesture, wrapping her arms securely around her soulmate tightly. "thank you, Clarke," she heard Raven whisper quietly. It was then, she knew she had made the right decision in planning to move the group away from Arkadia, not only was the Camp full of bad memories, if Clarke thought about it, the place wasn't really their home anymore anyway, the group of people in the room with her were home. They were each other's home; they are each other's home. "you don't need to thank me my love" Clarke whispered back as she pulled away from the hug, keeping one of her arms wrapped around Raven's waist keeping her close, she moved her left hand down and stroked along the puppies head, a small laugh escaping Raven's lips as the puppy began to lick Clarke's hand once it woke up.</p><p>"right if you would all pack and be ready for first light tomorrow so we can leave it would be appreciated, Lexa and some of her servants are coming on horses with trailers to help us at dawn so ensure all your bags are packed. No need to take your work gear as Lexa has delivered us new tools and all the equipment we need" Octavia stated to the group before exiting the room, slowly all the rest of the group followed in Octavia's footsteps, leaving the medical bay to go and pack up all their belongings, the door shut behind everyone and Clarke blushed a little as she felt Raven intertwine their fingers together and pull her towards the bed, the mechanic pushed Clarke down on the bed gently with a small giggle. She then climbed onto the bed, laying down next to Clarke, she placed her head upon the blonde's chest and moved her left leg over Clarke's. The puppy jumped out of Raven's hands and curled up on Clarke's stomach. "i love you" Raven whispered, pulling the blanket over them both. Her hands met Clarke's once again; their fingers intertwined once more and she leant up, capturing Clarke's lips tenderly, a light blush appeared on her cheeks as she felt a soft hand move up her back, resting there until she pulled away. "i love you more" Clarke whispered, pulling Raven's body closer to her own, she rested her head on top of her girlfriends and started to trace patterns over her back. As time passed the pair fell asleep in each other's embrace, happier than they had been in a while.</p><p>Finally, things were beginning to look up for the group of friends.  </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. lemon to a knife fight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The group finally arrive at their new home,  of course their exit from arkadia didn't go without drama but luckily they manage to get through it and soon are settling into their new home with hope of the future!</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is based in Murphy's pov so i hope you enjoy!<br/>im sorry for not updating for a while i lost muse but it has returned so hopefully it stays around for a while!<br/>p.s lexa is a softie in this story &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>27th June 2145</p><p>Murphy POV:</p><p>Murphy awoke suddenly as an annoying beeping sound pierced through his ears, his face scrunched up in mild annoyance as he reached over; slapping the top of the alarm clock harshly, making sure it was fully off before letting out a small sigh, he dropped his arm to his left wrapping it around Emori's shoulders lovingly as he sat up. A loud sigh coming from behind him caused him to glance to his side admiring Emori's groggy morning form as she reluctantly pushed the covers away from her sleepy frame, he chuckled and removed his arm from around her shoulders before rolling out of bed.</p><p>He pulled on a clean set of clothes and trudged into the bathroom getting out his toothbrush and paste to brush his teeth. Once he had finished using the sink, he filled the basin with cold water and rinsed his face off, gasping a little as the coldness shocked his system. "Emori showers running come on!" he yelled as he reached over and switched the shower on, adjusting the temperature to the degrees which his love preferred, he heard a loud groan followed by quick footsteps. He laid some fresh towels out on the radiator so that they would be warm when she exited the shower, he leant down and pecked Emori on the cheek softly, once she was in the shower, he pulled the shower curtain closed and shut the door behind him as he left the room giving her some privacy to get refreshed.</p><p>His eyes travelled around the room, groaning as he eyed the pile of bags beside the door, slowly he wandered over to his bed, pulling off the covers. He then piled the comforters and pillows on top of some baggage. The only thing worse than waking up at the crack of dawn was the fact they had to move all these bags to the other side of the forest on a damn horse. Murphy scoffed at the thought and shook his head as Emori emerged from the bathroom, her hair was braided neatly and she was clothed in a simplistic pair of jeans and dark blue long-sleeved t-shirt, he rolled his eyes as his heart swelled. He disliked being so whipped for this girl but he couldn't help it, she had been one of the only ones who had tested his patience, and challenged him when they first met, which intrigued him. And Murphy being the complete idiot he was had to fall in love with this girl, the girl that- well meant more to him than anyone else. He was completely in love with her, they weren't your everyday ordinary couple but that's what they liked about each other. They were them, and well. They just were. Simple as that, they worked.</p><p>"right, we need to start taking out things out to the horses" He smiled lightly, making his way over to the door, he opened it quietly trying not to make so much noise as it was early in the morning and the rest of the camp were all still sleeping soundly, well everyone apart from their friend group. Murphy lifted a few of the heavy bags onto his shoulders, much to Emori's arguments as she claimed she was strong enough to carry them, it's not like he doubted her, he just didn't want her to hurt herself as even he was struggling to carry the items. Not like he would ever admit it to her though. He walked through the camp to the gate, where Lexa and her servants were waiting for them, just like she promised. He offered her a light smile as he neared; placing the bags upon one of the trailers, taking a few steps back as Emori slung on the remainder of the bags and their bed sheets. They didn't really have a lot of belongings, and they didn't need to bring the furniture as it would be used for someone else at the camp and Clarke had already made sure the bunker was completely furnished. "Reme, get daun en help emo" Lexa instructed, telling one of her servants to get down off his horse and help them with their belongings.</p><p>Murphy turned around once Lexa had finished talking, his arms reaching down at the fluff ball which jumped up his legs, with a smile on his face he picked Nova up from the floor and cradled the little pup in his arms, rolling his eyes as Emori made a comment about him being a softy. He heard Lexa speak once more and he gazed up, noticing her confused expression as her eyes locked on the life he held in his arms. "What... Is that?" she questioned, unsure whether or not she should have even asked. He chuckled weakly and lifted one of Clarke's bags which she had just handed to him onto the trailer before moving closer to Lexa, he raised his arms and placed the Puppy in her arms, watching in amusement as the Commander lifted her arms up to her face, eyeing up the object in her arms intensely before her face softened as Nova began to lick her chin happily. "Hod op dei de ait nau..." she whispered, less than Commander like, almost beggingly, her face scrunched up as she attempted to hold back a laugh. Murphy quirked his eyebrows and looked back at Emori in amusement at the fact the powerful and strong Commander had just practically begged a Puppy to stop licking her face. "Does this... Creature have a name" she muttered quietly, shooting a powerful glare over at her subject as she dared to laugh at her remark.</p><p>He nodded his head and placed another few bags onto the trailers, "Nova" he said simply, being far too amused at this surprising interaction, by the looks of it so was everyone else, he gazed around at his friends who were all stood behind him, some with mouths open and some too shocked to even do anything. It was strange seeing the Commander so relaxed and carefree but it was definitely a more enjoyable side to Lexa that everyone seemed to like. "Nova, it means Bright star. I shall keep her with me on the journey" The Commander spoke firmly and Murphy looked back at Raven to see if it was okay, the Mechanic nodded her head with a smile on her face and Murphy grabbed a few more bags from the floor, placing them neatly onto the trailer. He sighed and stretched his arms out tiredly, thanking god silently that there were no more bags or any other items apart from themselves to be added into the trailers. After all, even though he hated horses he did feel quite bad as he realized they would be the ones to pull all of their belongings but, well it was what they were for and it was clear the Commander cared deeply for the animals even if she wouldn't admit it out loud the braided mains and freshly groomed and painted hooves gave it all away.</p><p>Murphy turned his attention back to Emori as he felt his hand being intertwined with hers, he smiled lovingly and kissed her on her forehead. "breakfast first then we will leave" Clarke informed the group. He looked behind him as Clarke helped the Commander down from the horse, Nova still wrapped in the Commanders embrace fast asleep, ears drooping over Lexa's wrist cutely. The group walked to the mess hall, he let out a sigh of relief as they seemed to be the only ones in the room, apart from the kitchen staff and a few elder Ark members who always seemed to be up before everyone so they could avoid the noisy younger generations, not that Murphy blamed them, if he had the energy he would be there early every morning too but he preferred sleep over peace and quiet. He sat himself down on their usual table beside Emori and Raven, Echo and Lexa sat opposite them, while Clarke an Octavia went off to gather food for the group, the girls began to engage in light conversation while Murphy stayed silent, preferring to listen to the conversation rather than taking part. He laid his hand upon Emori's thigh, fighting a smile as he watched his girlfriend interact with her friends with a beautiful grin on her lips.</p><p>"Thank you, blondie," Murphy muttered as he gratefully took a pastry from one of the plates that sat in the middle of the table, soon enough everyone began to eat, including Lexa, who was now feeding the puppy some of her cured pork with a look of happiness on her face. "Nou chek au Ai like dei de murphy" Lexa whispered as she gently stroked the dog, he quirked his brow. Not fully understanding what she was saying, he was slowly learning Trigedasleng but he wasn't fluent, not like Clarke and the other girls were. Even Raven was now fluent which was no surprise, she was one of the smartest after all. "Choj op up Strik Won Yu gaf yuj" Lexa stated between laughs as she hand fed Nova a few more pieces of the food before eating the rest herself, she playfully glared at Octavia as she laughed at what she had just said. "Lexa this is the first time I've heard you laugh and it's because you are hand feeding a puppy to make sure she has strength" Octavia spoke as she sipped on her juice, wincing as Lexa clearly kicked the black-haired girl under the table jokingly.</p><p>He shook his head, still finding it strange that They all seemed to be close friends now with the Commander, well after all she did help rescue Raven and Echo from King Roan so it's not a surprise that the group would accept her after the kindness she had showed. As the group were finishing up their food the mess hall door opened and an all too familiar voice filled their ears, he groaned loudly and released his hand from Emori's thigh, feeling angry all of a sudden at the presence of the one and only Bellamy Blake. His eyes rolled and he glanced over at the man as he approached the table, it was clear right away that he wanted to cause trouble, I mean when did he not want to cause trouble? Tension was rising in the air and Murphy could physically feel his blood boil as his former friend began to speak. "leaving camp are we Clarke? Have the voices finally taken over yet or is the constant reminder that you're a failure getting too much-" he grumbled, trying to get a reaction from the blonde, yet Clarke wasn't the one who seemed bothered by his words, in fact it was Raven who had risen from the table quicker than he could even finish speaking, she was now stood in front of Bellamy blocking Clarke from his view, at this Murphy rose from his chair, not liking the sudden switch in the atmosphere. Even more tension had risen and he was sure someone was about to get hurt, but he was certain it wasn't going to be Raven.</p><p>Murphy turned his attention to Raven who had a stern expression on her face "say that again Blake" he heard the mechanic speak, her tone was deathly cold, no emotion present but Murphy also knew she was close to snapping. "Don't get me started on you-" Bellamy's eyes travelled to Echo who was situated next to Lexa, he let out a laugh and rolled his eyes. "clearly Roan has no standards, taking you two? Using you two in any way he wanted? I mean..." Murphy felt his hands begin to shake with anger and he stepped forward, etching closer to Bellamy, ready to punch him square in the nose if necessary. Murphy blinked, he curled his hands into fists and he shook his head urging the Elder Blake sibling to shut up before he lost his temper or someone else did for that matter. "you're all weak and dis-" the Blake was silenced as Raven lunged forward, moments before Murphy could have stopped her, she was now on top of Bellamy, her right hand pinning the man down harshly against the floor, her left hand lunged forward suddenly and pressed something down into his thigh causing a scream to echo through the room, it wasn't long until Raven's hands found Bellamy's throat, squeezing the life out of him as he struggled even further, he wasn't a weak man and Murphy knew that but clearly Raven had him in his most vulnerable state.</p><p>Another scream came from the man and snapped Murphy out of his trance, it had all happened so fast yet it all seemed to be happening in slow motion. He quickly moved to Raven's side as Clarke pulled her girlfriend off of Bellamy as quickly as she could whereas Murphy was now stood towering over a whimpering Bellamy who was still on the floor. A pool of blood appearing next to his leg caught Murphy's attention making him Gaze down where he noticed a sharp Blade had been plunged through the man's thigh, he grimaced and leant down, pulling the knife out of Bellamy's leg without hesitation, he knew it would cause more bleeding but at this point it's not like anybody would care, Bellamy had lost his own sister after he had tortured her boyfriend to try and gain information, he had lost the whole group for what he had blamed Clarke for and he had lost Echo because he had lied to her. One of Bellamy's guards helped him up off the floor and Murphy wrapped his arm around Octavia, wanting to give his friend some form of comfort, even though Octavia didn't class Bellamy as her brother anymore he knew she still cared for him deep down, even if it was a small amount, deep down they all still cared for Bellamy. All of them always will, they wouldn't ever welcome him back into the friend group or their lives but he was once their friend and once their family. Now he was the enemy, no matter what he had done it still hurt the group that their once friend was now someone, they despised the most. They all cared but, if Murphy truly thought about it, the more he realized the care they still felt wasn't care at all, no. It was more like a sympathy, sympathy for him because of the way he had turned out but sympathy for themselves as well because they lost him. They lost a friend and a family member, and well Murphy lost a brother. Some brother he turned out to be.</p><p>Murphy made his way over to Raven, who was now stood in shock beside Clarke with one of the Blonde's arms wrapped around her shoulders comfortingly. As he approached Clarke, he nodded his head as Clarke removed her arm from Raven, he gently placed his hand on Raven's shoulder, pulling her closer gently, giving her time to move away. Instead the brunette stepped forward, wrapping her arms around Murphy's waist, he sighed and wrapped his left arm around her back, holding her close. "he brought a lemon to a knife fight" Murphy stated referencing one of the many songs he had listened to on one of the old mp3 players that they had found throughout the years of being on earth, he smiled as Raven let out a small chuckle as she pulled away from the hug, she nodded her head silently responding to his unspoken question she knew he would ask, "you sure you're okay?" he questioned, wanting to make sure, but to his relief the mechanic nodded her head and returned to her girlfriends side with a shy smile. "let's get the fuck out of this shit hole" He groaned and took Emori's hand in his own, leading the group out of the mess hall and back over to the horses. The sooner they were out of this god forsaken place the better, not only was it time to finally leave the Ark once and for all it was time for them to say good bye to all the bad memories and replace them with new ones. A new home, new memories, same family.</p><p>Murphy watched as his friends- no his family all clambered onto the trailers, while Lexa expertly mounted her horse with a sleeping Nova in her arms. The gate opened with a sudden click as Murphy climbed into the trailer, sitting down next to Emori. He placed his hands onto her hips and pulled her onto his lap effortlessly, sighing a bit as she leant back against him, giving him a light peck on the cheek. Murphy gazed down at her with a smile on his face before turning his attention back to the road in front of him, the horses galloped softly through the rocky pathway and the subtle sound of the gate closing echoed through the surrounding forests, almost like a ghost howling. "this is it" he mumbled to nobody in particular- more as a way to reassure himself that this was actually happening, they were actually leaving camp forever. Another horse came from the distance causing him to look up at the animal, his eyes squinted and then rolled as he recognized the figure who was mounted on the horse to be Lincoln, he knew the grounder was going to move in with them as him and Octavia had to leave the cave due to it being damaged in an attack, not that he minded. Extra protection and all that, as selfish as it sounded, he knew Lincoln would protect them if needs be and that thought made him relax a little more.</p><p>He tilted his head back and closed his eyes, soaking up the morning sun as it shone through the trees, hitting his slightly tanned skin warmly, the soft chatter between his friends being the only sort of conversation he could here, there was no shouting, no arguments, no toxicity in their tones which, made a refreshing change to what they had to hear all day everyday back at the camp, every day was full of loud disturbing noises, usually followed by the sounds of a typical argument between guards. Now that was something, he definitely wouldn't miss. He sat up straight and brushed his fingers through his hair as the horses came to a sudden halt, his eyes darted around curiously, a smile appearing on his face as he saw the glistening lake, the tower of polis in the near distance behind some trees. He must have dozed off at some point while he was in the trailer relaxing because they were around 15 miles away from camp now, which is far enough that they won't even have to worry about being disturbed by Arkadian hunters as they usually stayed between 5 miles of camp. Murphy placed his hands onto the side of the trailer and swung his legs over the edge, groaning as they hit the floor with a thud, he reached his hand out and helped Emori out of the trailer; intertwining their fingers together as he let Emori lead him towards the entrance of the bunker which was now surrounded by a large 6ft wooden fence.  </p><p>Murphy walked through the fence, following his girlfriend and the rest of the group closely, he turned his head and stared at the garden, nodding his head with approval as he noticed the ground had been ploughed – which saved him the job of doing so and small seedlings poked through the soft ground indicating that in a few weeks' time they would all have fresh cops. He followed as they walked into the bunker, fully functioning lights shone in the hallway lighting up the way into the living room where a soft plush couch lay along with a few hand made loveseats and an old television that had been rewired by the looks of it by one of Lexa's electricians. "this is amazing" he mumbled, letting go of Emori's hand as he walked into the bedroom Clarke had arranged for him and Emori to stay in. Light grey fabric curtains hung over the make shift windows, a fluffy rug laid in the centre of the room and a double bed was on the far right. He flung his hand up, fist bumping the air and chuckled a little as he noticed his black glass bong had been placed on a shelf next to the bed.</p><p>Once he had finished looking around the bunker he returned to the Livingroom, his eyes wandering over to Lexa as she was sat on one of the Love seats beside a very cosy looking Echo, he shook his head in slight disbelief of how much of a couple the pair looked like and soon turned his attention back to Emori who was now fast asleep on the couch next to Octavia and Lincoln, narrowing his eyes he frowned; taking note that Clarke and Raven were nowhere to be found. Before his brain could register his actions, he found himself walking along the corridor towards Clarke and Raven's bedroom, the soft sound of Clarke's voice could be heard from outside, along with the more distressed sound of Raven's voice. He gently knocked on the door and entered the room after a few moments ensuring he gave both girls enough time to make themselves decent if they needed to. He raised his eyebrows as he entered, seeing only Clarke on the bed. The blonde seemed to register what he was about to ask as she pointed towards the locked bathroom door, implying that Raven was in there, he nodded his head and flashed her a quick smile as he pointed towards the locked door "do you want me to-" his words were cut off as the blonde nodded her head before running one of her hands through her hair clearly a little frustrated. "I've tried, she just... She won't open the door" Clarke mumbled, pressing her hands against her knees, supporting herself a little.</p><p>Murphy turned instantly and trudged over to the door, knocking softly. Pressing his hand on the door handle. "Reyes it's me open up" he rattled the door handle a few times then stopped, not wanting Raven to think he was forcing her to open the door if she didn't want to. Moments passed without a sound nor any movement on the mechanic's side of the door causing Murphy to become slightly concerned, but he could hear the light patter of a tap running which in his mind was a good sign. He wiggled the handle one more, the sound of a latch coming open caused him to try the handle once more, sighing in relief as it opened with a light push. He glanced back at Clarke momentarily before turning around and walking into the bathroom, pushing the door slightly closed behind him, but enough so the blonde could hear what was being said. He sucked in a breath as he watched Raven lean over the sink, scrubbing at her red raw hands, trying to scrub something off that wasn't even there. "It won't come off – why isn't it coming off!" the brunette half yelled as she began to scrub her hands even more. He sighed a little and sat down on the edge of the bathtub which was next to the sink, he reached over and pressed the plug down into the sink allowing the basin to fill up a little, he then turned the taps off and reached over, pulling Raven's hands down into the bowl of water gently. "I'll help you" he whispered, lightly brushing the mechanics hands with his own, applying a little soap to both her palms. He then washed off the soap and unplugged the sink letting the water flow out.</p><p>He grabbed a towel and pulled Raven's hands out of the sink and onto the fluffy towel, he dried them off gently and then held both her hands up to her face, a look of relief showing on Raven's face. "there was blood. It wouldn't come off, I tried and tried it just wouldn't move..." she rushed out her words a little as her eyes raked over her sore hands and then at Murphy. "Raven, nothing was on your hands, no blood. No nothing, you've spilt no blood, nothing you have to cleanse yourself from okay? You're okay, it was Bellamy's fault earlier, not yours. Come here." he pushed himself up from the edge of the tub and placed his hand on top of Raven's shoulder, pulling her into his embrace as he wrapped his arms around her lovingly. "but -" he shook his head as Raven spoke up trying to argue with his point but then hugged her tighter as soon as she stopped herself from continuing with whatever it was that she was going to say. "I love you murphy" she croaked out after a few moments, he nodded his head and kissed the top of her head. "I love you too Reyes, how about you go annoy your girlfriend now?" he chuckled as he pushed away from the hug, but he kept his hands on her shoulders ensuring that she was okay, only moving them when she tapped on his hands and moved away with a small smile and a nod.</p><p>Murphy followed Raven out of the bathroom and rolled his eyes as the mechanic ran over to Clarke and climbed into her lap, wrapping her limbs around the blonde's body, clearly not having any plans to let go anytime soon. "I'll meet you in there" he whispered as he walked out of the bedroom and made his way back into the living room, he sat down next to Emori and pulled her sleeping form into his lap, weaving his right hand into her dark hair as she slept quietly, his gaze only lifting from his girlfriend as Clarke entered the room with a happy looking Raven still wrapped around her, he chuckled and shrugged his shoulders as Clarke flashed him a grateful smile and mouthed a 'thankyou' to him. Light laughter bought him out of his trance and he turned around, shaking his head as his eyes found the source of the laughter to be a very red Echo and a happy looking commander. His eyes met with Octavia's momentarily, he cleared his throat and looked back down at Emori, not wanting to interrupt whatever Echo and Lexa had going on, which if he thought about it wasn't a bad thing, he was just glad that Echo had found someone to laugh with since her breakup with Bellamy and the ordeal she had been through, he was glad she had something to take her mind off of it. well, he wasn't even sure what was going on with the two girls but his suspicion soon was answered as Echo's voice broke the silence in the room "uh can Lexa stay the night?".</p><p>His eyes travelled back to Clarke, snickering to himself as the blonde looked the most shocked by the question than anyone else in the room, his lip quirked upwards and he placed his hand back into Emori's hair, untangling her locks effortlessly. "Sure, she can, just be in the medical room by 10am tomorrow for your examination, your stitches need to be removed and we need to do a drug test to be sure all the drugs that entered your body while you were gone have fully left your blood stream. Raven you're having one too and you need to be in the medial room at the same time as Echo" Clarke turned her gaze from Echo down to Raven as she finished talking, planting a soft kiss on the brunette's forehead. Murphy shrugged his shoulders once more and leant back against the couch. Feeling far too tired from the move to even function properly at the current moment. He gazed back over at his friends and a small smile appeared on his face as the realization that they were all finally safe set in.</p><p>They were safe... and they were happy</p><p>And it was the start of the beginning of their new future.</p><p>God was he ready for it.</p>
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